Mio Cuore
by DarkAngel942
Summary: Brady only goes with women who are easy, but Kayla still has feelings for him. What happens when Brady imprints on her at a totally awkward and never-done-before time?
1. Prologue

Life at home was terrible.

It had always been that way, but it gradually got worse. I have friends, and I love them. They were the only thing that kept me going back then.

I guess you could say they kept me alive.

My dad had always been abusive to me. When I was five, me and my brother used to get regular beatings- but they weren't that bad, now that I look back. It was a bruise here, a sore spot there. My brother was ten, so he understood more of what we were going through, but I didn't know that much. I just thought I'd been bad.

But it increased, more and more, until the point that I finally realized that it wasn't my fault- it was my dad's.

And then came the awful day where my brother left home for college.

We'd never gotten on very well, but somehow we were raised together- if you can _call _it that- by that _man_. The man that sold our clothes for drink- what kind of father did that? My brother, Jordan, and I raised ourselves- I learned to cook while he learned how to control the bills. The only way that my brother was going to college was because he got offered a scholarship- all paid for.

Jordan left when I was twelve years old- and I remember the day as if it were yesterday. The sun was shining, the packed-up rent care was glinting- quite a contrast to the horrid scene that had etched it's memory in my mind.

He had given me a kiss on the forehead- the first time he'd shown me basically any affection, and spoke to me in a soothing tone.

"Just call, Kayla. If he does something- something worse than he's ever done before, you _call me_. As soon as I'm twenty-one, I swear I'll get you out of there- you can come and live with me!"

Jordan had sounded so sincere- no matter how much I annoyed him, he wanted me out of that hell-hole so I could live a normal, teenage life. Dad beat me worse than he beat Jordan, I have no idea why, it's just always been like that.

I had counted the days- every single one. I couldn't help but think of each day in stages, and as each stage passed, I became more panicked. Lessons at school, then lunch- in which I would phone Jordan each day. Then I would think- it's okay, there's still more lessons before I have to go home.

And then the final bell would come - and my good-mood act would be completely wiped. I no longer could stay away from my dad using school. The beatings that I had received the day before were faint, he only hit me once. But today, I have a feeling that it'll be worse, due to the amount of drink that he bought last night.

But then there's the boy that I have a crush on. Brady. I've had a crush on him since...well, forever. You might be surprised to learn that. You probably thought that abused teenagers were incapable of crushing on someone- but you're wrong.

I keep school as just that- school. It's not home, and I can finally be myself there. I wouldn't go as far to say that I _enjoyed_ school- after all, who does? But it provides an escape from home life. I can show who I really am, which is basically a normal teenage girl. In school, I'm no different from anyone else.

I know it's really weird, but Brady has been my crush for a long time now. You're meant to get over crushes rather easily, but this one just won't fade. It _refuses_ to. I would be happy in my awkward crush, dreaming about him kissing me like any other teenage girl would, if it weren't for two reasons. One, my dad is violent and I can't seem to dream about anything anything except fists and slaps, and Two: Brady only shags sluts. The whores that look at me like a piece of filth. Trust me, I know that look- it's the way my dad has looked at me my whole life.

And Brady smirks at the sluts that hover around him like bees- and takes them off to the boys bathroom to screw. Sorry for the use of language- but I can't exactly say 'making love' can I? Boys bathroom- that's not an exaggeration, they_ always_ do it in the boys bathroom at lunchtime. They actually get Brady in the boys bathroom, I've seen them going in there- Brady's mates cheering him on as he stepped through the door, smiling away cockily.

It's heartbreaking to watch.

But even if I have the chance, I wouldn't sleep with Brady. I respect myself too much to become the next meaningless sex shag in a long line. My best friend, Chloe, keeps telling me that he's not worth the trouble, but she doesn't understand. Somehow I _can't_ seem to get over him- even if he does sleep with all those sluts. You can't just _stop_ a crush on someone! Only love can really break something like that, and I don't quite know if I'm in love with Brady, but I'm certainly not in love with anyone else.

I'm okay looking- I admit it. I don't think I'm at all gorgeous, but I don't think I'm hideous, if you know what I mean? I don't get up in the morning and go over all my problem spots, I just get up and get on with things. Long blonde hair, big violet coloured eyes, high cheekbones and slightly tanned skin. My body ain't bad either, and sometimes that prompts envious glares from The Sluts that I don't even ask for.

So that's my life right now. But I don't complain about it- it's just life.

**Please review! :-)**


	2. Dancefloor in English

"So we should totally go to that party."

I'm sitting with my best friend Chloe in the lunchroom at school, eating our lunch. Luckily I have enough savings to last me till Jordan is coming back for me, I have enough to buy clothes and the basics. The most amazing news came a few months ago, Jordan had appealed to the courts for custody of me! I danced around the room the night he called and told me, I was too happy for words! Finally I would be out of the abusive hell-hole called home and living with Jordan, who loved me despite how annoying I could be to him. A few years ago, Social Services went round to my house to inspect it- I was at school at the time. My dad was already drunk, and Social Services decided that the house was too dangerous to live in because of him, so they placed me in foster care the next day.

Trust me, the feeling of finally being free of a life of abuse is so amazing, it was like I was flying on a cloud! FINALLY I COULD LIVE A NORMAL LIFE! I'm staying in a foster home right now, but it isn't bad there, honest. The people are nice, and there isn't many kids around at the moment, so it's pretty quiet. My social worker asked me a bunch of questions about my dad and how he treated me, and helped me move my stuff into my room at the foster home. The Social Services had decided to hurry up the custody order- not only because Jordan was now a trained solicitor and that looked good to them, but because they knew how much we wanted to see each other again. Jordan had told them all about his abuse too, and the evidence of our dad's violence was so great that they didn't even suspect that we had ever been lying. Which, of course, we hadn't.

My dad would be gone from my life. Forever. He would most likely get locked up! The thought was so unimaginably wonderful to me, it felt like I was dreaming. I know all teenagers hate their dad's sometimes, but when you've had a life of abuse from them, the love fades completely. By the time I was six, the alcohol stench in his breath made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

So now the only problem I faced right now was the one that I face every day at _school_, not home: Brady.

Chloe- who was sitting across from me and checking out her nails- wouldn't stop talking about the party that was meant to be going on in three weeks time. I want to go a little bit, but the stress of the Social Workers were getting to me. They said I could go live with Jordan when the custody order came through- there was some sort of thing that if you were abused, you had to remain in foster care until someone takes full custody for you. I just want to see my big brother! I haven't seen him in four years, and I need to hug him again like I had used to when I was little.

But the main thing that was upsetting me today is that I had seen Brady go into the boys bathroom with another Slut on my way here. I don't think I would actually _sleep_ with him if I got the chance to, he would probably have an STI by now. I know that's a weird thing to say, but somehow I keep thinking that maybe someday Brady will realize that Sluts just make you ill.

Every time I see him with one of the Sluts, my heart drops to the floor like a bag of cold sick. Yeah, awful comparison, I know!

"Urgh, are you still thinking about Brady?" Chloe asked, breaking through my thoughts.

"I saw him today. Going into the bathroom with another girl," I sighed, sipping my juice box.

"That's no different from any day," Chloe snorted, then when she saw my sad face, her expression softened a little. "You deserve better, Kayla. You deserve a guy that treats you right and thinks you're the most amazing person in the world. Brady is only interested in the Easy Women."

Chloe called the Sluts 'Easy Women'- I have no idea why, and I go for the more accurate name for them.

I sighed again.

"Maybe you'll find another guy at the party. You need to get over Brady."

"Hmmm,' I said, not entirely interested in getting a new guy.

Chloe can be totally clueless sometimes. And she could be rather bitchy- but she had been my best friend since Kindergarten, and that counted for something. My crush on Brady had stayed a secret with her since we were thirteen.

I probably sound like I'm not fun at all, but that's not the case. I can be me, which is random and funny, when I'm at school. But right now the image of Brady and one Slut going into the boys bathroom together kept popping into my head, dampening my mood.

"Trust me, it'll work," Chloe protested.

"I don't want to get over Brady."

That bit was true. Having a complicated crush made me feel normal. And I guess it is normal, every teenage girl had a complicated crush at least once in their life.

The bell rang at that moment, and I'm extremely grateful- I didn't want to talk about getting over Brady anymore. My next class was without Chloe- thankfully I wouldn't hear any more from her about Brady- and Brady himself was in my English class, which I was always excited about.

English was my favorite class, obviously because Brady was in it. The only bad thing about it was that his friends were there, jeering about the girls that Brady got off with, and they sit right in front of me too- so I hear everything. Yes, it does make me upset. I don't cry when I hear them though, I just try and block them out by getting my head down into my work.

So I walked along through the corridors to go to my English class, and I spotted Brady going in the room at the same time. One of the Sluts was hanging off of him- as usual. I recognized her as the one that went into the the bathroom with him today. She looked as if she was enjoying herself- but I had to hold back a hurt laugh. She thought she was special to Brady because they had had quick sex in the stinky boys bathroom. Ha, I thought- there will be another one tomorrow just like you. Nobody was special to Brady. Nobody ever _could_ be special to Brady.

Definitely not me.

They both walked into the classroom together- well, _he_ walked into the class and she just sort of followed like an obedient dog. I could see Brady's smile from here. He_ loved_ having girls following him.

I enter the class after them, trying not to look hurt. It felt horrible, watching him with girls. And I knew that however much I wished it, I would never be good enough for him to actually _notice_ me.

At the back of the classroom was my empty seat, and to the right of it- my friend Rachel.

I beamed at her and she beamed back as I walked forward to take my seat. Nobody else was like Rachel, she was one in a million. My horrible mood had faded a lot, seeing Rachel somehow always made me feel better. She wasn't like Chloe, and she wasn't too interested in boys at the moment either. We've been friends for a long time now, and although we hang out, Chloe just doesn't like her at all. I have no idea why- I think it's cause they have different interests. Our favorite song to listen to together was 'Hello Brooklyn' by All Time Low, we always danced to it at totally awkward moments. Chloe never did anything like that- she was always so conscious about what people thought of her. Rachel wasn't like that, and neither was I. I had gotten so used to being myself at school that I couldn't stand not being me.

Rachel also knew about Brady. How could she not when she sees me trying my all-time best to ignore him when he talks about how much sex he had that day? Yeah, not exactly possible that she _can't_ know.

"Hey, Rachie," That's my nickname for her, no-one else calls her that.

"Hey, Kay." Oh yeah, she calls me Kay, as well. I've always thought that was weird, because it sounded like she was saying 'okay'. Hmmm...

As soon as I sit down, my good mood is shattered when I hear what Brady is talking about. Seriously, boys these days know so much about talking about girls to each other it was shocking. Well, he wasn't talking about girls, he was talking about what he had just done with the latest sex buddy- which was disgusting, and heartbreaking.

Rachel heard it too, and patted my hand comfortingly. I manage to give her a small smile. I would want to move seats if it weren't for Rachel, she was like my rock when it came to Brady.

The teacher came into the room at that exact moment, and I was thankful to have something else to divert my attention to. Mrs Goodfellow was old and kind-looking- and I guess she is okay, as long as you don't disrespect her. Hehe, it makes her sound like a gang leader! I try my absolute hardest in all of my classes, and she knows that- so yeah, my English teacher's nice to me, then mean to everyone else, which everyone gets miffed at.

Myself and Rachel are basically the only people in this class that try hard. So we're not very well noticed nor liked by anyone. As if we cared- but it does make me a bit sad sometimes that nobody likes us.

Oh well- it's their loss.

Mrs Goodfellow started the class on reading parts of Macbeth- and, unlucky for me, nobody else was reading apart from Rachel and myself, which meant lots of talking.

Brady talking.

And guess what his main topic is?

"She was up for anything, man. Her-" his voice said. The rest of the sentence was rather graphic- so bad I literally could never relay it to anyone.

My fist clenched a little harder around my pen. Rachel noticed, and smiled at me- a little sadly. I know she doesn't like me fancying him, but in the meantime she was willing to stand my me.

"Block him out, Kay," she handed me one of the earphones from her Ipod. I smiled sadly at her, then place the earphone into my ear. Brady's voice is blocked out a little now, and my mind was distracted anyway due to Rachel's rather ridiculous dance moves. She started waving her hands back and forth- which looked strange enough even if it was a slow song. But this was a _rock_ song! It looked absolutely _hilarious_!

I giggled, more happy than I've been in a while. And guess what happened? Brady turned round and saw us. The word he said next shattered my world- forcing me to recover quickly.

"Freaks," then he turned round again. His gaze was cruel, he didn't care about our feelings at all. His friends laughed along with him, darting annoying glances along to us.

I froze for a second and unknown to the boys, I gripped the sides of the table. To be honest, I'm more angry than upset. I decided that, for the moment, I don't care what he thinks. I want to dance crazy with my crazy friend, and screw him- I'm gonna do it! I cranked the sound up on Rachel's Ipod, then started giggling and dancing with her again.


	3. My World Crashes

**This story is set during the books. But Brady is sixteen instead of fourteen. I know it's a bit dull right now, but trust me you'll want to see whats happening in the next chapter! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! :-D**

Two weeks later, and Brady hadn't been at school for exactly one week. The same week that he had called Rachel and I freaks, I had started to notice things.

He was getting much taller. And his cheekbones stood out more, he looked _so_ gorgeous. I walked past him in the hall office once, and seriously - I was _tiny _compared to him. And I was already slightly smaller than normal-sized people! I had a rather small body- curved like a model- which looked tiny compared to Brady's mammoth one. The Sluts were stick thin, bleach-blonde, with sunbed-tanned skin. I have naturally tanned skin, but I was only half-Quileute. My skin was looked healthy and smooth, no bumps anywhere- like Brady's.

See, I'm so crushed on him that I'm comparing myself to him. How creepy is that? And because I'm shy, I can't even talk to him.

It isn't me that had found out these things about my appearance- it's my friends. They say that I'm hot- but I don't believe them. To be honest, I don't particularly care what I look like. I'm the sort of Throw-On-The-First-Clothes-You-See kinda girl.

I must admit, I do get angry sometimes. Well, you've probably already noticed that. I mean, I fancy Brady like mad- but that doesn't mean I'll get beaten down every time he talks to me like dirt. I'm big on the woman-respect thing. Living with my dad had made me only respect myself _more_. I wouldn't take any crap from _any_ guy.

But Brady looked healthy the last time I saw him- so what was he doing off of school?

Or maybe it was a holiday?

Nah, Brady never went on holiday.

Oh my god...I sound like a total stalker!

"He's ill, Kayla. Now that he's gone for a while, you can try and get over him," Chloe said to me at lunchtime on Wednesday- the sixth day Brady hadn't been at school.

I'm trying my best to put him to the back of my mind, really I am. But no matter how hard I tried, I just can't seem to. He constantly invades my thoughts, no matter what I did. His friends- I noticed in English- had no idea what had happened to him either. The Sluts were glaring everywhere they looked- obviously pissed that Brady was gone. Surely his mom was taking him to a doctor? Even one week is a lot of time to take off of school- exams are looming closer and closer, and revision is being piled up by the teachers.

Rachel was very supportive, but she was more angry at Brady. His treatment of me aggravated her. She keeps telling me again and again that she's there for me, but I could tell that she was confused as to why I still liked him after the way he treated me- even though I can't quite explain it myself.

"He's been gone for ages, Chlo," I said, looking round the lunch room as if he would magically appear.

"He's probably caught a bug, Kayla," Chloe said impatiently. "Now, how about that party, are you gonna go?"

"Probably not," I sighed. not thinking about the party.

My social worker had said yesterday that Jordan was coming back for me in a few weeks- he had bought a house on the rez. He wanted to come back to La Push, and personally I believe that he wanted to try and fulfill time in his hometown that he never go to, because of our father. I can't wait to live with him! Of course, living with him would have it's problems- no doubt Jordan wanted to make rules and curfew. And I've never lived _alone_ with him before, so it would be both annoying and interesting.

"I'll go with the rest of the girls then," Chloe said, smiling a little at me when she saw my sad expression. Then the smile twitched and left her face. She looked down at her hands.

"Erm, Kayla? I have a...kinda weird question for you," Chloe squirmed in her seat.

"Yeah?" I was used to weird, random questions like 'Do you like peanuts?' from Rachel, but never had Chloe asked me a question like that.

"Have you heard about your mom?"

I froze. Why on earth would Chloe ask me a question like that? I trembled a little- my mom was a touchy subject to me.

She's been missing since I was two and a half years old- so of course, I don't remember much at all of her. Jordan was eight when she left, and he told me that one night she tucked us in bed- well, me in my cot- and kissed us on the heads lovingly. Then the next morning she was just...gone. Jordan thought that our mom left a note for our dad, but he couldn't be sure.

Then when she had gone, our father became violent with us. And it didn't stop until a few months ago.

"Why?" I managed to croak out.

"It's just, my dad told me that he saw a woman who looked a lot like your mom in the woods." Chloe's dad was the second Campus Chief after Charlie Swan. I had heard that he and some officers were patrolling the woods- but I thought that was because they've been hunting for bears.

'My mom's long gone, you know that," I said quietly, twirling my pasta on my fork.

"Yeah...I'm sorry, Kayla, I don't know why I brought it up," Chloe said awkwardly.

The bell rang again, and since I had free periods the rest of the day, I got to go home. Well, _The_ Home. The foster home was nice, but I couldn't wait to live with Jordan- in our own house away from our parents.

Instead of going back to the home on Wednesday's like this, I always go to La Push beach. It's so calm there, the waves are lovely to look at while I think about things. And I love to draw the view from the cliffs, it's absolutely _amazing_!

I grab my blue bag and slung it on my shoulder, say a small goodbye to Chloe, then get the hell out of there.

The walk to La Push beach isn't a far walk from the school, so I'm there pretty quick. It's my favorite place to go, whether I just needed to think, or needed a place to go where nobody could find me.

I sighed happily, then sat down with my back against a tree. Taking my drawing pad out of my bad, I pressed my knees up close to my chest, then laid the drawing pad on them. The lines of the trees and waves of the sea were just not entrancing me like they usually did, so I took that to mean that my mind wanted to think- which I kind of hate.

I leaned my head against the tree, tiny flecks of bark coming off. I closed my eyes, then a long-suffering frown appeared on my forehead.

My mom was always a horrible subject to me. It just made me feel ever _more_ unwanted. I mean, if my own _mother- _the person who gave birth to and meant to supply unconditional love- didn't want me, then who would?

So it's Wednesday today- again. Two weeks since Brady had last appeared in school. I'm starting to worry if he's moved, after all- two weeks? He never missed a day off school without _someone_ in the school knowing where he was. His friends always laughed and joked about where he was going- mostly with Sluts, which of course makes me sad and unhappy that he was so shallow. But now, his friends didn't even _speak_ about him. Had they had a falling out? Mind you, men don't _have _falling outs. They punch each other- then the next day they're friends again.

So where on earth is he?

Chloe asked me I knew where my mom was again today. I think her dad must have put her up to it- and I wish she wouldn't bring it up again, but I didn't want to bother. Hopefully she'd drop it. She said that her dad thought that the woman looked like the mother- as he had gone to school with her when they were young- but before he could even get a second glance, she was gone.

I phoned my brother last night to tell him about the possible sighting of our mother. Since we were going to be living together- I don't want to keep secrets from him. I had never used to anyway- when we were young, but then again, at that age I didn't have many secrets.

Jordan had paused for a minute on the phone- then he had told me not to worry about it. I knew that he missed our mother- but I was angry at her. She had _left _us. With _that_ abusive man! How could she love us when she left us? She was meant to love us forever- and yeah, parenting can be tough- but running _away_ from us? Did she _know_ that our father had turned abusive? Had she ever come back to us, to watch us?

The party that Chloe kept banging on about was tonight. I don't want to go- I'm exhausted from staying up most of last night, worrying about my mother. Chloe had decided to go with some of the other girls in our year.

So I'll be on my own tonight, all alone. God, I sound like _absolutely no _fun! Trust me, I laugh like a lunatic and I'm so random you wouldn't believe it...but I'm just so upset about my mother. And Brady. And the fact that I live in a foster home because my family don't want me, all apart from Jordan.

So...damn...bored.

I'm sitting on my bed at the foster home, staring out the window right homework is all done, my sad thinking about my sad family done, and now I'm just...sitting. Should I go to the party? Or go downstairs and play games with some of the tiny kids? I love playing with them, they're sweet and really don't deserve to be in here. But I'm wondering...party, or games?

Chloe's at the party, and some of my other friends, and I had had a nap when I got home so I wasn't so exhausted...so why not go to the party?

Right, party it is.

I get up from the bed and opened my closet. I have some pretty dresses- and I choose a pale pink mini that highlights my curves and made my long blonde hair shine. So I'm not cold, I put on a small white cardigan to keep me warm. Hopefully it wouldn't be raining, but I doubt it would be- it rained mostly during the day.

Chloe had told me where the address was- a girl's house in the center of La Push.

I go downstairs to say goodbye to the kids- seriously, they're adorable- then I give them a quick kiss and go out the door. They let you do whatever you want at the foster home as long as you're back by curfew. Well, as long as _I'm_ back for curfew. There are no other teens my age in here, the oldest child- apart from me- had just turned four years old last week.

Luckily, it isn't raining outside, so I don't have to rush back in to grab a coat. The house isn't too far away- so I didn't have to risk getting wolf-whistled.

The party was clearly...well, _labeled_ might be a good word- in the street. Loud music blared out of the open doorway, and lights were flashing constantly.

Er, yeah- one hell of a party.

I enter the house, almost expecting havoc- but it was rather calm at the moment. I had obviously arrived when the party was calming down a bit- yay, me.

I look around for Chloe- and can't find her, so I instead start looking for the girls she had came to the party with. They're hanging around near the door, drinking alcohol. Yeah, I knew it was alcohol cause...well, they drank alcohol. Gosh, I'm so informative today.

I walk up to the girl closest to me, and tap her on the shoulder. Oh crap, it's Samantha. She doesn't like me that much- and I have no idea why.

"Oh, hey," she said when she turned around, but she looked me up and down, pursing her lips in frustration. Why would she do that?

"Hi, Samantha, have you seen Chloe?"

Then suddenly a smile appears on her lips, and trust me- it isn't a nice smile either.

"She went upstairs. You should go up, she wanted to see you." Her other friends- who I get on quite well with- gape at her.

Turning around to go up the stairs, I heard a chorus of panicked 'no,no,Kayla, stay down here!'s But I figure that all that they had to say could wait, so I walk up the stairs towards what I know is the bathroom door. Hmmm, Chloe isn't in there, so where is she?

But when I turn back around to go to the stairs, I see that one door in the hallway is slightly open. And the light is on- maybe Chloe had decided to brush her hair in a _proper_ large mirror? I push the door open a smidge more.

And deeply wish I hadn't.

Because Brady is half-naked on the bed- but he isn't alone.

Chloe is mostly naked too!

Her top is off, along with her jeans, and she's desperately getting Brady's belt off. Brady's fumbling around her back- obviously trying to get her bra off. They're locked in a long, tongued kiss.

Tears well up in my eyes. The person I had trusted the most _all my life _didn't care about me at all- and was naked on the bed with the crush of my life at that very moment. I've never been so emotionally hurt before. This is the worst thing _anyone_ could have done to me. Now I'd found out how strong my feelings were for Brady- and it hurt more than my dad's beatings.

I let out a gasp, then quickly suck in more air in- I realize I had stopped breathing.

Chloe heard the noise, and breaks away from the kiss she had been giving Brady. Her eyes widen, and when she spies me at the door, she looked panicked and upset.

I'm too broken inside to really notice anything anymore. I couldn't focus on anything apart from my broken heart, but Brady captured my attention slightly through my heartbreak.

Brady hadn't even bothered to look round to see who had caught him in the act. He had rolled his eyes when Chloe had seen me, and now he looked annoyed as he turns to look at who entered. My heart felt another sharp twinge of pain- and I didn't think that was possible after seeing my _best friend_ and my _crush_ together.

But when his eyes meet mine- something changes. His eyes widen, and pure awe and something else...- struck his features. His jaw drops open as he stares at me- and his eyes look so dazzled that they sparkled and resembled a puppy's. Then he sees my tears, and he looked panicked as his eyes darted from me to Chloe.

What the hell? Is this some sort of joke? Why is Brady looking at me like that? He had probably decided to play a joke and make me feel even worse. More tears poured down my cheeks. Only an evil man could do something so bad to a girl.

"Kayla, don't, please," Chloe was stuttering during that time, but what happened next shocked me into my senses again. Brady was staring at me with panic, and he lifted his arm, knocking- or shoving- Chloe off of him. She ended up with her slutty behind on the floor.

But Brady hadn't noticed, he's too busy staring at me. He jumped off the bed, not even looking at his shirt, and started walking slowly toward me as if I'm a mentally ill hospital patient with a loaded glue gun- ready to shoot. His hands were outstretched.

"Don't go, please. NO, NO!" he shouts the last bit, as I've managed to move again and I'm running down the stairs.


	4. Calming Beach

**Kayla's POV**

I'm running down the stairs right now. And not _my_ stairs either- I'm in a totally different house and I feel totally lost, not literally of course. I'm too heartbroken for words- but why was Brady clattering down the stairs after me? Why on earth?

"NO, NO!" Brady kept shouting. Why did he want me to stop running? Shouldn't he be laughing at my previous expression and continuing to take Chloe's bra off? I hope she's still on the floor. And I hope the floor's dirty- and she has a broken finger.

I still can't believe how much it hurt. It's overwhelming- my heart feels as if someone is squeezing it for blood, or maybe squeezing just to hurt me.

Well, the second was working on me.

My _best friend_...and my _crush._

I'm most upset that Chloe could do something like this. I had confessed _everything_ to her- all my secrets!

I make it to the bottom of the stairs, next to the girls in my year that I had talked to earlier before- before finding...them. My face is now streaked with tears- which continue to fall down- and I know my face looks shocked and pained right now.

But I was in more pain on the _inside_.

I blink, tears roll down my cheeks, fresh from my eyes. I don't think I've ever cried this much before- well, not when physical violence wasn't involved.

The girls standing next to me looked sorry, worried, and sympathetic. For a second, my mind freezes.

Chloe told _them_. All about my crush on Brady.

Chloe had told _Samantha_.

And right now Samantha has a small smile on her face- and it isn't a sympathetic smile either. A joyful one- joyed to see me hurt.

I hear Brady thump down the rest of the stairs, then I hear him come to a stand-still at the bottom. He's breathing hard, and I can feel his stare on the back of my head.

By now, all eyes are on me, and they look confused and annoyed- the music has stopped, disrupting their party.

I don't look at anyone. I can't. If I look at anyone, I'll feel worse. So I do the only thing I can do.

I run.

But before I can even reach the door, I burst into a fresh new round of tears.

"NO!" I hear Bready shout as I run out the door. Why the hell is he shouting at me? Shouldn't he be hitting on Samantha by now? He probably wants to hit me for bursting in on him and Chloe. That thought hurt me more than I would have expected it to. My crush had nearly slept with my best friend, and now he wants to punch me. Great.

Someone seizes Brady from behind- I hear him struggle. He's screaming and screaming at them- wow, he must really want to hit me- I think tearfully. Even my mind is crying now.

Before anyone can say anything else, I'm out of the door and running away from the house that destroyed my short happiness.

I run so far that I begin to get lost.

My foster home is long gone behind me. I thought I had control over my feelings for Brady...but obviously I don't. Well, _hadn't_. And Chloe was my best friend! Brady can go jump off a cliff for all I care now.

But no matter how angry I am at them, even I can't deny the gut-wrenching pain of a broken heart- and I'm the _Queen _of broken hearts.

I croak out a sob, and my eyes squeeze shut. I just want to crawl into a little hole and stay there for a long time. But I can't do that, not in La Push. It's a very, very small town, and gossip travels fast- hiding in a hole won't solve anything. Even the teenagers in _Forks _would probably all know by tomorrow.

My family are gone. My dad's in prison for beating me, my best friend is a cheating slut, my crush wants to- apparently- _kill_ me, and even my own _mother_ couldn't stand to be near me. I want Jordan or _someone _to tell me that everything's gonna be okay, but nobody's here. Nobody wants me. What sort of life is this? What's the point even in living?

Right now, I can't even look ahead to tomorrow, let alone today.

I carry on walking, feeling numb- and to be honest, I can't care less where I am. But I start to notice some things: I can smell the sea, and hear the waves crashing against the rocks from a short distance away.

My semi-subconscious mind took me here- but it isn't that much of a surprise. I come here all the time, I'd know the way even if I was sleepwalking.

My feet seem to be shuffling toward an old tree- and I sit down, leaning my back against it. The bark is scratchy but I don't care.

My _best friend_ and my _crush_.

I can't help sobbing- it hurts too much right now. I really thought I had found a true friend in Chloe, and even though my crush on Brady hadn't been going anywhere, I could have coped with that.

I can't cope with the pain, it hurts _so much_.

My face feels strange, but I know it's because of my tears. I can feel the tears on my eyelashes, dripping whenever I blink. The beas looks so peaceful and beautiful- and I almost bark out a sad laugh because of the contrast between myself and the sea.

The sky is totally dark now- I can see the moonlight. For now, it's my only peace.

How can this happen to me? Oh no wait, I know why: because men just can't keep it in their pants for _five_ fucking minutes! Honestly! And Chloe, I should have seen it coming- she'd always looked at Brady strangely. _And_ she's prettier than me- in my eyes at least. She disagreed with me on that, but it doesn't help me now, does it? My best friend is a backstabbing slut that can't keep her clothes on under any circumstances. Well, my _ex_ best friend.

I never want to speak to her again.

Nor Brady, either.

I hate them both, and yet the tears keep coming. I wish that I could stay here forever, but I know I can't. My eyes are starting to drop slightly, and through my tears, I feel tired. Tired of thinking and thinking about Chloe and Brady on that bed together- half-naked.

I close my eyes, maybe just for a second I can sit like this and listen to the calming beach waves. It's so lovely here, I've always loved it- and it's the perfect place to go when I'm as upset as this. Hopefully I don't fall asleep...yeah, I think I can do that...

**Brady's POV**

"EMBRY! EMBRY, GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" I scream. How _DARE _he keep me away from my girl, Kayla? She's _mine_. All _mine, _nobody else's. What if she falls and hurts herself? I can't _believe_ I did that to her, her _best friend! _It makes me want to kill myself, but I can't do that. Not when Kayla is walking on this Earth. I _need_ my Kayla, I _need_ her like I need air to breathe. I need to hold her in my arms forever- and her never leaving . I can't _bear_ this! I need to see her! I _need_ to see her beautiful face again.

Otherwise my life just isn't worth living.

Right now, I'm trying my best to run to my sweet, heartbroken love- but Embry is holding me back. I want to rip his head off, I don't care if he's one of my pack brothers. I want my Kayla. I need to smell her sweet scent again and know that she's safe.

Everyone is staring at me, but I don't care. I can't care for the _world_. I only care for the girl that, right now, isn't safe as she's not in my arms, we she belongs.

Embry shakes me a little - but I don't notice all that much cause I'm already shaking so bad. I can feel my soul calling for her, _aching_ for her. My anger at Embry is literally terrifying for any observers- of which there are lots. It's not just the wolfen side of me that aches for her- oh, no. I never believed Sam when he said that an imprint isn't about being a wolf- I always believed that it was only the wolf inside us that imprints.

But I was wrong.

Kayla's my soulmate.

My old 'friends' are staring at me as I shake and fight with Embry. Why don't they go after Kayla? Why bother with me? I'm nothing compared to her- she's my Princess. She needs someone, she's heartbroken- I can feel it.

I saw her face upstairs. Had I been lucky enough for her to like me? Had I been blessed enough to be worthy of her thoughts filled with me? The thought will fill me with awe and wonder later, but right now, I want to get to her so bad that I can't particularly think about anything else.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME, EMBRY!" I scream again- but Embry's hold doesn't loosen. That only makes me scream more. _I need my beautiful Kayla._

"Brady, man, what's going on?" Embry hisses in my ear. I scream and kick harder.

"Embry, dude...I think he imprinted!" Jared whispers in disbelief. They're all standing around me now. In the past- as in twenty minutes ago- I was a ladies man, always shagging girls. If I weren't so angry right now, I would be able to understand their disbelief- but I can't think about anything but my Kayla. I was a man-slut in the past, but I'm not now- Kayla's my sun, the only light I can see.

"Get...off...me!" I growl slowly and menacingly at Embry. He's keeping me away from my sun, my beautiful love! I need her in my arms right _now_, it feels like I'm dying.

"Holy shit! I think he has!" Embry exclaims, but his grip on me has loosened- I'm free!

"I'll rip your head off for that later!" I yell over my shoulder as I run out the door. Everyone in the room are still staring at me- whispering to each other with wide eyes. But I don't care one bit- I only care for my lonely beauty.

The cold air hits me like a numb slap in the face- but after a second, my body gets used to it and my skin becomes hot again. The wolf in me is so warm that I can literally stand in an ice storm and not feel one bit of a chill. Underneath all my worry for Kayla, I'm surprised that I hadn't phazed back in there, I had been shaking so much. Now, I phaze as quickly as I possibly can, and remember Kayla's scent, letting the memory of it flow through my body. Oh, god- I sigh heavily. God, she has a gorgeous scent.

I sniff as hard as I can, and a trail seems to open itself up to me. I quickly follow it, desperate to see my beauty Queen.

**Mystery Woman...**

The woman knelt down next to the girl, tears in her eyes. The teenage girl in front of her had dried tears on her face, her sleeping features soft but yet slightly pained. The woman reached out a hand and brushed at the girl's silky blonde hair with her fingers. She marveled at how beautiful it was, how beautiful the girl was. Her fingers traced the girl's forehead lightly, the soft skin smooth to the touch. She leaned down, tears spilling down her face, and kissed the sleeping girl's forehead lightly- as to not wake her. She whispered words to the girl, whimpering slightly as she spoke.

The snap of a twig alerted the woman. She reluctantly stood up away from the girl, shooting reluctant glances at the girl as she backed away from the source of the sounds.

And then, just like that, she was gone.


	5. Sammy the Savior

**Sam Uley POV**

"Bloody hell," I say while approaching the young girl. She's asleep, and very cold by the look of her. She's extremely pretty- I think to myself, and she's dressed to impress. Nobody could beat my Emily thought- I think dreamily, but from an outsiders view, the girl is gorgeous.

Her head is leaning back against the tree, and her hair shines in the moonlight. Why is she here? Doesn't she know it's dangerous for people, especially pretty young girls to be out in the woods, at night? Myself and my pack patrol as much as we can, but it's still common sense. But maybe she hadn't meant to fall asleep.

The girl has been crying- I can see the tear tracks on her cheeks. What had caused her to run all the way out here to seek peace? It must be something bad.

Anyhow, I can't leave her on her own. Not out here.

So I pick her up. She's as light as a feather to me, my muscles are so big now. I sniff her, trying to let her scent cover my senses. Hopefully I can find where she lives. I trace her scent back to a place where- I can hear from here- sounds like a party. That can't be her house! Maybe something happened at the party that upset her?

I sniff her again, then walk a little to try and get a trail that works. But it's too old now, I can't distinguish it. My mind is filled with scents, distinguishing is a hard thing to do. I can smell my Emily baking... cookies? My stomach rumbles, but then I remember the chilly girl in my arms and scold myself. Getting distracted by food and Emily's chest is something I do often.

The girl stirs in my arms, reminding me that I need to find her home. But I can't find it for some reason, maybe because I'm tired from a long day of patrolling and the girl's scent is mixed in with everyone else's.

So what can I do now?- I panic in my mind. Leaving her here is not an option- I may be tired, but I can't leave her. It's our job to protect the town, and so I have to find her a safe place for tonight, or at least until she wakes up.

She looks like a nice girl, not dressed like a whore, perhaps Emily wouldn't mind if she slept on our couch for a while? I scold myself for the second time that night: of course Emily wouldn't mind. I felt a rush of love for my beautiful, kind fiance. She wouldn't care if a messy, dirty tray dog stayed on our couch.

I clutch the girl tighter in my arms as I run back towards my house. Thoughts of bed and Emily's cookies run through my mind, and my mouth nearly drops open to drool. It can be an exhausting job, patrolling, and it makes you very hungry. Not that that's the only excuse: werewolves have a very high appetite anyway. I could eat a whole batch of Emily's chocolate chip cookies in ten minutes.

The ground crunches against my bare feet as I run swiftly toward my house, being careful not to jostle the girl awake. Her long blonde hair hangs off my elbow as I run, being swept by the wind and waving like a flag.

My home is in sight, and within seconds I'm there. The young girl still hasn't stirred, and I'm getting worried that she's been out in the cold so long that she's slipped into unconsciousness. What could cause her to come out in this weather? Her heart is pounding, I can feel it slightly- as I always do with humans- and even though it's a little too slow for my liking, the thumps are strong. If I can just get her inside, to warmth and sleep, she'll be perfectly fine in the morning.

The girl is, luckily, very light and I can shift her onto just one arm as I open the door. Warmth and the scent of fresh cookies hits me, and I can sense my Emily in the kitchen. Oh, _Emily_... I think, freezing in the doorway for a second, my heart pounding in my ears. We've been together for a while now, but every time I see her is like the first time my eyes met hers. My beautiful Emily, all mine, nobody else can touch her.

I make my feet move, walking swiftly into the room where my fiance is waiting.

_Emily... _She's facing away from me, but the sight of her makes my eyes widen like a puppy. Em's so beautiful, just standing there with her back to me.

When she hears my footsteps, her head turns.

My heart seems to stop for a moment at her beauty. But when I see the three scars on her face, as usual I feel guilt. Those scars were caused by me, and my stupidity! I'm cursed to forever wake up in the morning and want to kill myself for the pain I've caused her. But she loves me, god, the most beautiful girl in the world loves me! I'm not even worthy of her love, not worthy one bit.

My breathing quickens slightly as she spots the girl in my arms.

"Who's that? What's happened to her?" Emily gasps, dropping a dirty pan into the sink- soapy water flying everywhere as she rips off her washing up gloves and runs toward us.

"I found her in the woods," I say, managing to avert my eyes from my beauty to look down at the girl in my arms. Her lips are, worryingly, turning a bit blue.

"The _woods?_ What on _earth _was she... Surely her parents told her to not go into the woods alone at night!" Emily flusters, brushing white blonde hair off of the girls forehead with her fingers.

"I think she was very upset. I found her and tried to trace her scent back to her home, but all I could find was a party that she had gone to," I reply, looking back up at my angel.

"Was it the one that Brady went to? Maybe he knows what happened to her. I swear to god, if he did anything to make her cry Sam..." Emily threats, pointing a finger at me as if it were my fault.

"Perhaps it wasn't him, Em," I say in my brother's defense, but even I am wary. Brady had just completed his transformation from human to werewolf, and he was such a heartbreaker at school- not even caring about the people he hurt.

"Hmph. Talk to him. And put he on the couch while I get her some blankets, I really don't like how cold she is Sammy," Emily frets, kissing my cheek as I place the girl on our slightly old but homey couch.

I hear Emily's footsteps as she runs around upstairs, trying her best to gather as many blankets as she can. Feeling slightly useless now, I go into the kitchen and run some warm water into a large bowl, picking up a hand towel on my way back into the living room.

I dip the tiny towel into the water, squishing it in my hand to stop dripping, then placed it on the girl's forehead.

A huge thump on the front door makes my head snap up quickly, twisting a muscle in my neck a little. My mind immediately goes to Emily upstairs, hearing that she had frozen. Protecting her is the only thing on my mind, and as I run to the door, ready for a vampire, pure rage is in my head. The thought of someone hurting my Emily... it makes me want to kill.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I yank the door open, a low growl building up in my throat, when I see who it is.

The noise dies don in my throat, and when I speak shock and confusion are clearly heard.

"Brady? What are you doing here?"

His nostrils are flaring, and for some unknown reason he looks a mixture of angry and worried. Why is Brady knocking at my door at this time, and so ferociously?

"Her scent leads here," he urgently says, anger barely contained in his voice. "Why is she here, is she safe? Please tell me she's safe?"

My brows furrow in confusion. Of course Emily's scent would lead here but... oh, the young girl's. But why on earth is Brady so interested? I nearly laughed at the situation: Brady, the womanizer, this interested in a single girl. Brady should be an actor: this obviously _cannot_ be true. A wave of anger hit me- Brady could be so insensitive, especially to women. Here we have a very upset young girl, probably humiliated, and now Brady has come to make everything worse and make fun of her. How on earth could one of my pack members do something like this?

"Very funny, Brady. Who told you she was here?" I practically growl. I don't know the girl inside my house, but for some reason I feel very protective of her- she reminds me of Emily somehow, perhaps because of her innocent looks. No woman deserved to be treated like this.

"What? Sam, you don't understand, I _need_ to see her. Is she safe?" he asks, shaking in his anger.

"Now listen here," I say angrily, stepping onto the porch and shutting the door behind me, "I don't know what's happened to her, but that girl in there is heartbroken about something. And I know that you kids need to have a laugh over something, but this has gone too far Brady. I know that you're still a young werewolf, and I don't want to be too hard on you, but you need to learn right from wrong. _Now_," I say, my finger urgently pointing at him. I have my Alpha-wolf voice on, but for once, it doesn't seem to do anything.

"Sam, I swear on my life that I'm not lying to you, I need to see her. Sam, please!" he cries out the last bit, looking like a little lost pup.

I can see in his eyes that he is telling the truth: no wolf can deny his Alpha. My confusion is not helped at all, and my eyebrows furrow again.

"Sam, I imprinted on her. And it's my fault that she's so upset," Brady shakes, hanging his head in shame.

I'm too stunned to speak. Brady, the impossible womanizing machine, has imprinted. And on the innocent young girl inside sleeping on my sofa.

"I need to see her, Sam. I _need_ to," he repeats urgently, raising his head, still shaking.

I'm frozen for a second. I can't believe this is happening. I never thought that Brady would imprint, ever. He just... isn't the type. He's too involved with himself and getting into girls pants. But, I put my shock to the back of my mind for now, focusing on the best interests of my pack member and his imprint.

"Brady, you need to go home and calm down," I tell him firmly.

"Go home? How can I go home when I can stop thinking about her? She was so upset, Sam," he cries, actual _tears_ coming out of his eyes now. Brady crying? Brady is actually _crying_?

"I need to know that she's safe."

"She is safe- she's sleeping on the couch. We didn't want to wake her up, when we found her she was turning blue in the cold. We'll take her home in the morning," I quickly update him.

"She's safe? Oh, thank god, I thought-" he sighs in relief, head in hands again, but he quickly raises it. "I need to see her."

"Didn't you hear what I just said Brady? We need to let her sleep, and get her warm again," I say angrily.

"I just want to see her, then I'll leave. Please, Sam, I'm _begging_ you. If it was Emily, you'd feel the same," Brady pleads. I honestly think that he'll get on his knees and beg me, looking that desperate. I'd like to tell him that there's no way I'll let him near her tonight after making her so upset but, if it was Emily, I would want the same thing- just to see her face again and make sure that she was safe.

There's a silence as I mull it over in my head, eyes narrowed on Brady's. He can't exactly pick her up and run away with her... so I guess I have to accept it.

"Fine. Only for a minute," I ordered. He nods eagerly, eyes looking extremely thankful.

I open the old door with my hand, and notice that Emily is standing on the bottom of the step with her arms crossed looking confused.

"Do you know what happened to her, Brady?" her eyes become wide with suspicion, and she steps towards us.

I look at Brady: he can get himself out of this one, he deserved the punishment. Whatever he did to the girl on my couch, it was something bad.

He hung his head again, and sadly nods, tears in his eyes that Emily can't see. Nobody but a fellow imprinter could understand how he's feeling- and even though I do, I'm still mad at him.

We enter the living room, Emily hot on our heels. I stand next to the couch while Brady stands and looks down at his imprintee.

"She's so beautiful," he chokes out, kneeling down next to her. I stiffen slightly, but when he doesn't move any closer I calm down.

"I never knew that having an imprint would feel like this. I love her so much, she's an angel," he says, staring at her face as if it was a light in darkness.

I understand how he feels- I felt the same thing when I had imprinted on Emily. Each time I see her is like the first time I saw her. Of course, my situation was complicated back then, me and Leah, but luckily Brady doesn't have to deal with that. Although I can't be sure if what he has to deal with is worse or better than what I went through. He has many 'girlfriends', so this girl will probably be heartbroken when she learns of what he's like. Does she even know who he is?

"What did you do to her, Brady?" I sternly ask, arms crossed over my chest. Emily's sat down on the armchair next to me, concentrating firmly on Brady.

"I- I did something horrible," he chokes, barely able to talk. He reaches out, shaking with his tears, and strokes her cheek as if it was a precious jewel.

"I get that. What did you do, though?" I make my voice softer for him. I'm starting to pity him, to be honest.

"There was this girl, I can't remember her name- Chloe, or something like that. She walked up to me at the party and started flirting. I thought she was hot so I flirted back, then we went upstairs and fooled around. They were, I think. Then Kayla came in and-" he choked up, unable to finish- perhaps because of his guilt. He quickly put his hand on his mouth, as if the thought of what happened makes him physically sick "-and Chloe was trying to apologize to her- they must've been friends or something." He puts his head in his hands.

"Kayla is _this_ girl?" I ask, pointing at the sleeping teenager, and he nods. His expression changes into one of unimaginable love as he gazes at her, as if someone else saying her name filled him with adoration.

"She was so upset, Sam," Brady looks at me, unshed tears in his eyes. He seems to sense that I understand- I can see it in his eyes. I narrow mine, but partly in concern and wanting him to finish the story.

"Why was she so upset?" I ask.

"She probably had a crush on him, otherwise she wouldn't have reacted the way she did," Emily explains, looking tired. I want to take her into my arms, but I reluctantly realize that I have to help my brother.

"So she just ran off?" Em asks, looking at the sleeping girl.

"Yeah," Brady turns back to look at his angel, staring at her lovingly. I'm still in shock over all this- never would I have imagined Brady to be so loving with someone, or _look_ at them like that if it weren't a joke.

"I think you should leave now Brady," I say, moving toward the door.

"Already?" I've never seen Brady, or in fact any person, look as pleading as he does right now.

"She might wake up, Brady. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable when she does, you'll just upset her more," I explain, feeling sorry for him, but I know it's the right thing to do.

When he doesn't move, just remains staring at her longingly and lovingly, I walk back over to him and place my hand on his shoulder.

"Brady, it's the best thing for her. You don't want to frighten her. You can see her at school tomorrow," I say comfortingly. Emily stands up, trying her best to give him a supportive smile.

In the end, Brady won't go- I have to drag him out the front door and lock it. I hate doing this to my brother, but I need him to think about what he's done and how he can make it up to his angel.


	6. A Calming Breakfast

**Sorry, I just realized that I made a spelling error in Chapter 2! It says that a few weeks ago the Social went round to her house, when actually I meant a few years! And I'll fix the past tense/present tense horror that's been going on- it was a while ago that I wrote those chapters and now I've finally gotten the hang on it. Well, here's chapter 9, enjoy and please review! Xx**

**Kayla's POV**

I wake up in the morning, my head throbbing, but keeping my eyes closed. What on earth happened last night? I can feel myself slowly resurface back into consciousness, not remembering anything about what happened last night. Soft blankets are rubbing against my neck softly, the pillow behind my head is warm and cuddly. Then, as sudden as an ice cold bucket of water, I start to remember.

It comes back to me in short waves, trickling into my mind like water- coming home from school, being bored while sitting on my bed, and then-

The party.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, it really happened. I hadn't been dreaming it then, like I wished I had. My eyes scrunch themselves up, desperate to numb the pain of the memories. But they've already done their damage, and I'm awake.

I slowly open my eyes. I quickly realize that I'm not in Forks Orphanage, and in alarm I sit up immediately, clutching the blankets to me. How did I get here? Oh god, I've been kidnapped by a madman. He's going to rape me and kill me, oh my God. My eyes dart around the room in fear, looking for something to use as a weapon or a means of escape.

But then, when I'm just about ready to scream and whimper, I notice a photo frame of a girl. on the mantelpiece. I recognize her as Emily Young- she'd helped out once at the Orphanage. I've never met her, but there's still a photo of her taped to the noticeboard as one of the Helpers.

And just then, as I sat up on the couch, she walked in.

Her face got mauled by a bear, I knew, but even after that she's still really pretty. There's a sympathetic and calming smile on her face, and even though I'm still alarmed at waking up in an unfamiliar home, the mothering quality in it soothes me slightly.

I watch her carefully as she walks toward me, scared as to how I got here.

"I suppose you're wondering what on earth you're doing here," Emily says, sitting in the lumpy seat across from me, smiling comfortingly. "My husband, Sam, found you asleep in the woods and brought you back here."

I barely pay attention to the fear in me anymore, and my face turns into an aghast expression.

"I was_ asleep?_ Oh god, my brother's always warned me about falling asleep in the woods, he's going to be so _mad!_" my hands shoot up to cover my mouth in shock.

"Yes, it's very dangerous, but perhaps he'll forgive you this once: Sam told me that you were very upset when he found you," she says, voice starting stern and ending with sadness. "Do you live with him? Your brother?"

"No, I don't," I try my best to give her a small smile._ But I can't wait till I do... _"Thank you for saving me."

"Oh honey, it was nothing. Would you like some breakfast? It's still early, school doesn't start for another hour and a half," she asks, standing up. Her smile, which on most people would be looking stiff by now, remains soothing and comforting.

I smile as best I can while I'm still upset over Brady, no longer alarmed. Emily used to work in the Orphanage, and the social workers there all told me that she's lovely. And anyway, if she's planning on taking me to school, the food won't be poisoned.

I stand up, placing the soft blankets back on the sofa. When my feet are supporting my weight though, I realize that I feel so weak. The crying had obviously worn me out last night.

Still dressed in my pale pink dress, I follow Emily to a small kitchen, where she's laid out the most gorgeous looking breakfast foods I've ever seen. There's pancakes, fresh fruit, muffins, toast, tea and coffee. I try not to gasp. The breakfast at the Orphanage is just cereals and a bit of toast, never anything special- although they do make you pancakes on your birthday.

"Wow," I say, eyes wide. My nose breathes in the gorgeous smelling food.

Emily laughs, a dish towel in her hand.

"Dig in."

The breakfast is amazing. Emily is the best cook in the history of the world. The muffins taste especially delicious- blueberry, my favorite. I no longer feel alarmed that I'm here, it feels very homey- and of course I'm not used to homey. Emily sits across from me, eating her breakfast

"So, where's your husband gone?" I ask, popping a piece of blueberry muffin into my mouth.

"Oh, he's out at work, but he'll be back soon to give you a ride back home so you can get ready for school. What's your address?" She stretches her right arm to reach for a pen and pad.

"32 Limetree Road," I reply, sipping my sweet tea.

Emily nods, her mouth moving to the words, while she scribbles it down. Then, the pen stops writing and she looks up at me in shock, sadness, and disbelief.

"That's the Orphanage," she croaks, her brow furrowing in sadness.

I just smile at her sadly. I get this reaction from adults a lot- teachers and nurses. But thankfully nobody in the school knows that I live in the Orphanage yet. They would laugh, and then I'd forever be known as 'The Orphan Girl', the subject of behind the hand whispers of people to their friends.

"Oh, honey," she smiles sadly, and I can see tears in her eyes. I'm slightly taken aback- no-one has ever cried for me before. Maybe Jordan has, but if so he's never told me about it.

Emily leans across the table and places her hand on mine for a second.

Her husband, Sam, comes back after a while. I can hear his heavy footsteps on his way through the front door. I sit up in my chair, nervous about meeting him. This guy had carried me through the woods in the middle of the night, and I'm scared that he'll be the huge big-bellied man I'm imagining in my head. Even if he is, I'm eternally grateful to him for saving me from the possible horrors that would have faced me if I had been left in the woods.

But when he walks in the kitchen, Sam's not at all what I was expecting. He's just an ordinary Quiluete husband, with a nice looking face. There's a feeling of command that surrounds him somehow, as if he's always the one in charge.

"Good morning," he smiles at me, after giving Emily a long kiss on the cheek. They look so in love that it pains my heart, reminding me of Brady. Somehow I manage to push Brady back out of my mind and keep a smile on my face.

"Morning. Thank you for bringing me back last night, I don't like to think about what could've happened."

"Oh, you're welcome, it was no problem. School starts in an hour, I'd best take you home to get changed," he says, looking down at his watch.

"Okay, here's the address," Emily hands him the ripped piece of paper with my address on it. His eyes don't widen in surprise of anything, I don't think he knows what it is yet. He will soon- I think grimly. Although the Orphanage isn't horrid, I would like adults to see me as just a girl- not 'The Orphan Girl'. Luckily, whatever adults I meet keep it to themselves that I live in an Orphanage, they have to keep my privacy safe.

Emily and Sam don't seem like gossips though, hopefully they'll know to keep my secret.


	7. Broken :Extended Chapter:

Sam's car is slightly dirty- mud caking the wheels and splashing onto the southern parts of the car. I really don't mind though, I used to love playing in the mud when I was little, and when we climb up into it on the little metal steps, the inside of the car has a homey feel to it. The dangling car freshener is shaped like some sort of dog, hanging over the slightly battered radio. I love homey things. Maybe that's because I don't actually _have_ a home. How funny my life is. I'm trying to keep the hurt about Brady deep within me, as whenever I start to think about him tears come to my eyes. The school will be talking about me...

"So did you sleep okay?" Sam asks as he places his key in the car to start the ignition.

"Yeah, thanks. I have no idea how to repay you," I sigh gratefully. "If you and Emily ever have children, I'm your babysitter for life."

Sam laughs at the car chuggs itself into life.

"You don't have to do anything to repay us. I'm just glad that I found you. I don't mean to make you feel bad, but the woods are a dangerous place to fall asleep," he adds. His voice starts off amused, then when he glances at me in a pointed angry look, I can tell he's not happy. When he turns back to face the road we're winding down, I can see by his side profile that his jaw is clenched.

"I know, sorry, I don't know what happened. I was really upset..." I struggle to remember as the car rumbles down the empty road. My eyes are on the road, my brows furrowed. When I can't remember anything about falling asleep, I run my hand through my disheveled hair.

"...about Brady," Sam finishes, his expression revealing his fear of what I'm going to say.

I jump in my seat, shock streaming through my every pore. How can he know? Hurt spreads through me after the shock, mixed with embarrassment- not only the school will be talking about my horror last night, but Sam and Emily- possibly the nicest people I've met in my life, knowing that I'm just another stupid sucker for Brady. Another girl for everyone to laugh at.

"How do you know?" I croak, sitting up, staring horrified at Sam.

He glances at me, smiling sadly, then pulls the car up next to the forest for a second.

"Brady came around the house while you were asleep," he says as the car shudders to a stop on the muddy grass.

I'm too stunned to speak. My mouth opens and closes again and again like a fish. No words come out. I can't even form a coherent thought in my head, the shock is too much. Brady would have seen how upset I was. Oh god, he would have laughed. He would have laughed at me like there was no tomorrow, and said that I was just another stupid girl with a crush.

To be honest, I feel a bit faint. My legs feel weak, my eyes burn with unshed tears.

"What, what..." I can't manage to say any other words than those. I don't even know what I'm trying to say with them, but through my shock I notice Sam looked at me in concern and sadness.

My heart feels like it's literally broken in two.

"Don't worry, we didn't let him see you for long."

"He wanted to see me?" I croak, disbelief leaking through my voice. _He wanted to punch your light out, remember?_- my mind throws at me cruelly. My heart throbs even more in pain. Why did this have to happen, when I was so near to being completely happy with my brother?

"He wanted to... apologize," Sam smiles at me sadly, looking concerned. He's such a nice person, why couldn't I fancy someone like _him _and not Brady?

I can tell that Sam's telling the truth, but I'm shocked. It doesn't make me feel any better. Brady would have lied, said anything to try and hurt me again. But he didn't need to.

The pain I already have locked in my heart is worse than a thousand beatings.

"We'd best get going or you'll be late for school," Sam smiles at me comfortingly, reaching to turn the key of the car again.

Fear washes through me when he mentions school, and I shudder. The snide comments people will share with each other by covering their hand when I walk through the corridors, Brady's friends laughing at me. Oh god, and Brady will too! Just kill me now. I never used to be bothered by the bitchiness at school, but now it's a different story.

"You must be dreading school," Sam says when the car is back to chugging down the deserted lane and into Forks.

"Yeah," I confirm, covering my face with my hands and rubbing in my desperation for everything to just... go away.

"Just keep your head down and concentrate on your work, only talk to your closest friend about this... party thing, and you should be fine," Sam advised.

Hopefully he's right.

When we are finally rumbling down the road the Orphanage is is, I notice the time on the tiny clock of the radio. I have forty-five minutes to get ready for school. Shouldn't be a problem- but I want nothing more than to climb into my nice, cosy bed and sleep for eternity. If I skipped school today, Jordan would be extremely mad- no doubt he would find out- so I have no choice but to go. And this problem isn't going to go away by itself.

"Which one is it?" Sam asks, his elbows driving the steering wheel like a pro.

"The one at the bottom left," I reply, savoring these last few moments of him thinking that I'm just an ordinary girl. An ordinary girl with two loving parents, loads of hormones, a cute little house, annoying siblings, and a dog.

I always wish that I could be that girl.

The car drives down the hill that winds to the right toward the Orphanage, the last house on the street. All the other homes on this street are average sized and pretty-looking. The Orphanage is larger than the rest of the houses on the right side of the road, but not massive either. I wish sometimes that I could live in one of the pretty houses next door with my parents and brother, like a _normal_ family, but that'll _never_ happen.

Sam frowns as the houses get less and less as we go down the street. He's waiting for me to say 'This one here', but I'm not.

Just before the lane curves round to go back the way we came on the opposite side, I say the words he's been waiting for.

"This one here."

He automatically stops the car, making it shudder to a halt, and then sees the house we've stopped at properly. 'FORKS ORPHANAGE' is carved into the huge stone plaque at the top of the building.

I don't want to see the look on his face, and make a job out of unbuckling my seatbelt and carefully placing it behind me.

When I can't busy myself with the seatbelt any longer, I turn to look at him. He has a look of disbelief, shock, sadness, and pity on his face. I'm used to seeing it on adults, but sometimes they're faking. It's strange to see someone I've just met be so sincere.

"I had no idea. I just wasn't expecting that..." he says, hands by his sides. He blinks several times in his shock, then gives me a nice smile.

I smile sadly at him back, then look up at the Orphanage again. I sigh shakily.

Same old Orphanage. No parents to kiss me when I walk in the door. Just me.

**Sam's POV**

I want to ask.

I want to ask her what had happened to put her in this place, but it's none of my business. I've never met anyone from the Orphanage before, until now. Emily had said that there were only little kids there when she was helping out- Kayla must've not been there that day.

Needless to say, I'm shocked to find out that she lives here. She seems so sweet, and it's not fair that she has to live here. Are her parents dead, or did they abandon her? Either way, I felt rather rubbish.

When we make our way inside the stoney building, I push the questions I want to ask to the back of my mind. Emily always says that I'm too nosey for my own good. But this girl doesn't seem like the sort to be in an Orphanage...

The inside of the place is kind of dreary, resembling a doctor's office. But when Kayla leads the way into some sort of sitting room to the left, I see all the little kids playing with their supervisor. Cooing, laughing, and squealing are heard throughout the room.

Some of them are just babies. It's heartbreaking to see them here- their start in life without their parents.

But when Kayla walks in, one of the babies faces light up in a gurgly smile. She's just about able to walk, no more the one year old, and she scurries toward Kayla.

"Hello, Amy," Kayla cooes, a bright smile on her face as she kneels down to pick the tiny girl up.

I must admit, I'm kind of surprised. Kayla seems like a natural around the kids, but if it were me in an Orphanage I would want to steer clear of all of them.

A woman comes up to Kayla where we stand, looking both worried and furious. She doesn't look that old, perhaps in her late thirties. Pink lipstick is over her chapped lips, her hair curly and messy.

"Where have you been, Kayla?"

Poor Kayla tries to come up with an excuse- you can see it plainly because of her expression. The tiny girl in her arms plays with her hair, a tiny, happy smile on her little face.

"She had a sleepover with my fiance, sorry, she must've forgotten to tell you," I say, excuse already in hand since we got out of the car.

The woman looks at me as if just spotting me, seeming to buy the excuse.

"It happens," she nods at Kayla, a reassuring smile on her face.

Kayla beams at me, squeezing the baby, then a look of dismay and fear appears on her face.

"I'd best get ready for school," she reluctantly places the baby down again.

"Don't worry. All you have to get through is today, then everything will be fine," I reassure, looking around the room packed full of toddlers.

"I can make my own way to school if you like," she says, standing back up.

"No, no, it's fine. It's on my way, anyway, I have to go see someone."

Kayla smiles. Her whole face lights up when she's happy. It's such a shame that she'll probably not do that today. Nobody deserves what Brady did- this Chloe girl that he nearly did it with was most likely a friend of Kayla's, otherwise she wouldn't have reacted like that.

She quickly runs up the stairs to get ready for school, and I turn back to the toddlers. They all looks so sweet, not even dressed yet, all in their feety pyjamas. I can see why Emily loved it here- she loves children, naturally. We're not actually married yet, but she loves to call me 'husband' to people, she says it feels nice. When we have our own kids, they'll get all the love they need. It's so heartbreaking that the children in the Orphanage don't have that.

**Kayla's POV**

I ran upstairs to get changed. Why can't the school have a fire or something...

No, I'm not about to commit arson, thanks.

To say I'm dreading it would be the understatement of the year. I hate my life. I hate it, I hate it. Why did Chloe have to be such a slut?

Oh god, Chloe.

I had been concentrating on the hurt that Brady caused rather than Chloe. But now, I collapse on my bed, breathing hard. I try to stop them, but my whole body is wracked with sobs.

And here, when no-one's is looking, I cry.

I cry for Chloe, Brady, and the lost parents that I'll never be happy with.

**Sam's POV**

Kayla comes downstairs after about five minutes. I must say- I'm impressed. All women take ages to get ready, and I have to blink several times to make sure I'm not seeing things when Kayla comes down ready for school.

But that's not all I notice. Thanks to my wolf hearing, I could hear her crying a while back. I wanted to go up there, but I figured that she had to let it out. If I went up, she would've hold it back in and that's no good for her.

"What?" she smiles at me. There are no traces of her sobs.

"You got ready quickly, I'm not used to women doing that," I joke, wanting to cheer her up. She feels like a sister to me already, even though Brady hasn't told her about his imprinting. I feel this way about all my brothers imprintees, they hold a special place in my family of... er, wolves.

For the next half hour, I make myself useful and help give the children their breakfast. Some of them are only a few months old, and have to drink milk. While I'm opening one of the tiny jars for one of the slightly older babies, I freeze at a troubling thought: did I make the right decision, letting Brady go to school? Should I call him and order him not to? And if I had let him stay last night, and let him talk to Kayla? If I had done that, then she may not have been as fearful of going to school.

After a few moments, I open the jar, shaking my head to try and get the thoughts away. I made the decisions last night, and now I've got to live with it. Whatever choice I had gone with yesterday, Kayla would still me hurt- there's no way to avoid it.

I turn around to a little baby boy who's sitting in his high-chair in the kitchen, gurgling happily. His blue feety pyjamas are buttoned up all the way, a little bib tucked around his collar.

I can't help but smile. I've always had a soft spot for kids. Kayla is playing with a little boy and girl, tickling them and making them giggle in the sitting room. Little toys are spread about the room, cars and dolls, looking more like a playground with a soft red carpet.

I pick up a blue plastic baby spoon from the cutlery drawer, and scoop a little pea mush onto it before placing it on the baby's lips. His tiny mouth opens and closes, gulping it down easily. His big brown eyes watch me happily as I feed him, giggling every now and then. You can't help but smile at a little baby who's giggling at you, seriously.

The woman from earlier, possibly the manager of this place, comes up to me and smiles approvingly, leaning against the kitchen counter. Her eyes scan the sitting room, stopping on Kayla.

'She's good with the kids, isn't she," what she says isn't a question- it's a fact.

"Yeah," I look up from the baby boy to look at Kayla. She's taking care of the kids like a pro- just the right amount of cooing.

"It's such a pity that she's in here- any parents would be blessed to have her as a daughter," she sighs sadly.

"Can't you find a foster family for her?" I ask, hope coming into my eyes. Kayla- my probably soon-to-be sister- would be happier with someone to look after her, I'm sure.

"We tried, when she first came in. But sadly nobody's interested in fostering an older child- they only want the babies. And Kayla's older brother is coming for her in a week or two, we're all thrilled about that," she smiles happily at me, then watches Kayla play with the kids again. "It's such a shame she's even in here in the first place- she's such a sweet girl." The woman turns round to the sink, rinsing one of the baby cups.

I turn back to the gurgling baby, back on my task. Her brother's coming for her, that's good. Now I won't have to worry as much about her welfare.

After feeding the little baby, I wipe his mouth carefully with his bib. He seems satisfied, kicking his little legs gently and beaming at me. I've forgotten how cute little babies are. I know, not exactly manly to say that things are cute, but I'm a wet guy.

I place the baby boy back into his cot in the sitting room- one of the supervisor's told me he likes to have a nap after his breakfast. Sure enough, as soon as I lay him down, he gurgles happily once more then falls fast asleep.

Noticing the time on the clock, I get Kayla and tell her that we need to get going. I can see by the look on her face that she had been having fun with the kids, and I've just taken it away. I hate doing this to her, but I can't think of any other way to help.

I give her a sympathetic smile. I feel so sorry for her, but I think she realizes that she can't ignore this problem forever, and she _does_ need an education. Hopefully Brady has come up with an amazing plan to win back his Kayla.


	8. Don't Look Up

**Oh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy! I didn't actually expect over 100 reviews but yaaaaaayy! Thank you all SO much! Here's the next chapter. The next one is coming VERY soon. **

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**Kayla's POV**

_Oh god, oh god, oh god._

My heart is pounding like drum as I walk up the steps to the entrance to the school. How can a heart which beats this fast be considered healthy?

When Sam dropped me off, he had squeezed my hand and told me to be brave. I was too scared to say anything back. As soon as I got out of the car, slamming the door gently behind me, my eyes took in all the people watching me. Some were sympathetic looking- all those cast by girls, or course- but I barely noticed that. I was concentrating on the sniggers of the boys, the behind the hand whispers to their friends.

Nothing has changed in those long ten second from then till now.

I'm hyper-aware of every single look on me. My heart feels heavy, my breathing labored. I've never felt like this before- not even on the first day of school. The only thing that even comes close to how I'm feeling now is when I moved into the Orphanage.

I keep my eyes down, focusing on making my way to the doors, but sometimes I look up to see if Chloe or Brady are near so that I can run if they are. Those tiny little looks I take are a bad idea- they only make me more aware that everyone is staring at me. All of the boys are sniggering and smirking, some girls too. All the 'populars' are watching me like hawks, whispering in each others ears. I've never felt so rubbish in all my life.

I blink, focusing on the door to the school. Has it always been this far away from the sidewalk?

At last, I make it. My hand clasps the door like a raft, gripping like a vice and wrenching it open. Once I'm inside the reception, I can _breathe_.

And breathe I do. Big gulps of air. I feel as if I've been trapped in a cupboard for a long time- which my dad once did- and just been let out. My hand lays on my chest, trying to calm my painfully throbbing heart.

The woman behind the reception desk looks up at me from some papers. Her half-moon shaped glasses sit on the bridge of her nose, making her look like some sort of bird as she stares at me.

"Are you alright dear?" her croaky voice asks.

I place my hand down by my side again, trying my best to breathe normally, and smile as best I can.

"Fine, thanks," I say, hiking my messenger bag strap higher on my shoulder. I smile at her again, just with the corners of my mouth, as I walk out of the reception and into the jungle.

Thankfully, the corridors are pretty much deserted- it's still a bit early for classes, and since the sun is shining today everyone wants to get a piece of the heat outside. The blue lockers look bright as I walk toward my own in relief. I'm feeling a little better now- maybe the comfort of nobody being around is helping my heart's pain. I take my English book out of my locker and place it in my bag. Yeah, that's right, I have English today. God just can't seem to give me the one little gift of making Chloe try to hump Brady on a _Thursday_ night instead of a Wednesday- I don't have English on Friday's.

I look at my reflection in my tiny mirror. Taking into account the horror of last night, I suppose I don't look too bad. My blonde hair looks normal, my cheeks not too flushed.

The corridor is a complete contrast with outside. It's peaceful and silent, the odd teacher shuffling their papers being heard. I close my locker and lean the back of my head against it, closing my eyes to enjoy the last few minutes- or possibly seconds- of my peace. Images of Chloe and Brady flow through my mind. Them together on that bed...

_Don't cry, don't cry_- I tell myself, squeezing my eyes shut.

God must hate me for some reason, because the bell rings at that exact moment. My eyes shoot open and I straighten myself up against my locker. Nobody is in the corridor yet, but through the tiny glass windows of the door to go back into reception, I can see the heads of other students bob past.

Hoisting my bag strap further up my shoulder, I hurry to my first class, hearing the reception door crash open and yelling and laughing. I want to get to Physics quickly so that I'm not bombarded with questions and laughing on the way in.

In a strange way, I'm still in shock over everything that's happened. It feels as if... it's gone so quick, if you know what I mean? I feel like electricity is running through my body instead of my blood, cursing me to never relax. Luckily, our Physics teacher, Mr. Adams, is strict and doesn't let his students even _whisper_ to each other. I've never been glad of that before, but now I'm thankful for it.

I keep my eyes on the ground while making my way to class, pleading with God to make the ridicule at a minimum level. If Brady laughs at me today, I'm terrified that I might burst into tears. At least I have Rachel to hide behind in English. Maybe I can get her to switch seats with me- her seat is further away from Brady.

As I lift my eyes to walk into the class, I suddenly catch sight of something and freeze, my right hand on the wooden doorway.

Brady.

Well, Brady's back, but I feel just as bad if it were his face. His shoulders are hunched in his grey shirt, his blue jeans low and butt looking desirable. My heart catches in my throat, and I feel as if I want to throw up with humiliation.

But the most peculiar thing in the world is that he isn't laughing and sniggering with his friends. In fact, his friends aren't even with him. Embry is talking to him- I can see his mouth moving in a calming tone, but I'm hidden by the lockers so he can't see me. His left side is leaning against his locker, as still as a plank of wood. Brady never comes to school this early.

He probably came early because he wants to laugh in your face as much as he can- my mind throws at me. I want to bang my head against the door to stop that thought, but that would alert Brady.

Speaking of 'alert', Brady has suddenly just frozen, his body wired by electricity. It looks as if he can smell something.

I can spot that his head is turning in my direction just in time. I run into the classroom- prompting a very strange look from Mr. Adams- and sit in my seat. I hold my breath with fear, but I don't hear any loud footsteps coming down the corridor. He must not have seen me.

I sigh, relaxing slightly into my seat. Loads of students come bustling in the door just then, laughing and giggling. As soon as they see me, their faces break into ridiculing grins. I sink even further into my chair, wanting to close my eyes for all this to go away. I clutch my bag to my chest as one boy points at me, a plain laugh forming on his face.

"Right, into your seats!" Mr. Adams yells, his round glasses looking somehow threatening as he stands up.

All the kids at the front of the class, ready to jeer at me, practically wet themselves as they scarper to their seats. If I weren't in such a shit mood I would have giggled.

Thank God that nobody sits next to me in this class.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I keep my eyes on my notebook. I don't particularly listen to what Mr. Adam's is saying, but it provides a distraction. Luckily he hasn't called on me for an answer.

I can feel everyones stares on me, and try my best to not look up. Eventually though, the teacher wants us to copy a note into our books, and I have to look up. I take a small breath in, bracing myself. My eyes glance up.

Great, the guy in front of me has turned in his seat and is staring at me. His head is tilted back slightly in his chair, and his smile is slow, arrogant, and taunting. I hurriedly look at the board, get the first few words of the note, and look back down again. I can feel my cheeks turning bright red, the blood rushing into them like flames. I absentmindedly scribble the first words from the board down. It doesn't work too well- my hand is shaking too much for me to concentrate.

_And I actually thought this period was going well..._

Needless to say, I don't look up for the rest of Physics. The note can't be that important, anyway. I'll just have to ask Mr. Adams for it again sometime.

Before the bell rings, I sneakily put my notebook back into my bag, and put my pen in the front zip- I want to get out of here as soon as I can. From the experience of other people, I've noticed that people get ridiculed the most when they're walking _out_ of the classroom. I plan to bypass this ridicule by running out before anyone can even stand up. Oh, and hopefully _not_ trip. The electric feeling inside me has, of course, not gone away. I just want this day to _end_...

I keep my eyes on my watch, watching every second tick by slowly. Why does time have to go by quickly when you're enjoying yourself, and slowly when you want to _kill_ yourself?

As each second goes by, I find myself getting more and more anxious to leave, and how to leave. What if someone gets to the door before me and stops my exit?

The bell rings.

I'm hyper-aware of every move I make to get out of the classroom. Just a few more steps to freedom... just one more...

And then I'm out.

I sigh and nearly laugh with relief. I can hear people getting up, and a few of what I think are disappointed sighs, but nobody rushes to follow me out the door. Scurrying through the corridor, I turn the corner and, while walking, take my timetable out of my bag.

Oh my god...

Chemistry. With Chloe. And I _sit next to her._

This time, I stop, groan, then rest my head against a line of blue lockers in defeat. Could this day get any worse?

My eyes close, my brows furrowing. I _hate_ this school. _And_ my life. School had always been an escape to me, from the Orphanage, and before that, my dad's violence, but now I feel like I'm being thrown into a pen of hungry lions.

I sigh shakily as I straighten myself up. Maybe I'll call Jordan at lunchtime, that'll make me feel better. We may not have been that close when we were younger, but we are now. Too much has happened for us not to love each other greatly.

I shove my timetable back into my bag and fold my arms as I walk along the empty corridor, throwing my hair behind my shoulder distractedly. My arms are around my chest because of my fear that I may cry. Thank god that there are no classrooms on this corridor, only toilets.

I keep my eyes on the ground, but look up when the corridor ends, leading into another one. I've just turned the corner when I spot Embry hanging out on the left side of the corridor, leaning on one of the lockers and talking to one of his friends. I can see his mouth moving, and curling into an amused smile every now and then. Somehow, he looks so much older than the last time I saw him.

I hurriedly lower my eyes again. He and Brady must have made friends over the past two weeks; he must be under strict orders to ridicule me whenever he gets the chance.

My feet absentmindedly move faster, almost scurrying. I've just, thankfully, made it to the end when I look up to see where to go next, and catch Embry's eye.

He's staring at me. His other friend- Quin, Quil?- turns his head to see what Embry's staring at, and doesn't look away. I immediately blush, preparing myself for the laughter. I had come here today _expecting_ this, but somehow, I still wasn't ready. My feet walked slower, even though

After bracing myself, nothing seemed to happen. Surprised and confused, I frown slightly at them. I can't make out the look on their face- it's as if they have something to tell me, but they look somehow... shocked.

Creeped out, I dart away from them, walking hurriedly toward Chemistry, keeping my head down. I want nothing more than to see Jordan right now, and have him tell me that it'll all be okay, like he used to.

You may be wondering why I'm hurrying to Chemistry, where Chloe is. The truth is, I'm feeling vulnerable in the corridors: Brady can pop up at any moment. At least I know where I stand with Chloe: hurt, and never wanting to talk to her again. Maybe I can ask Mrs. Higgins if I could move seat- there are a few empty ones at the front of the class.

Thank the Heavens- Chloe isn't in the classroom yet. I hurry to Mrs. Higgins, hearing my breath hitch slightly in relief, and ask her if I could move.

"Well, normally I wouldn't let you, honey, but since you're such a good student and I can see that you're upset... okay, sit wherever there's a spare seat," she decides, smiling at me. Right then, I could kiss her. Thankful tears nearly make their way to my eyes, but I manage to push them down. _Finally,_ some good news today.

I thank her profusely, then scan the empty classroom for which spare seat would be the best to sit in. They're all at the front, but I need to choose carefully- if I sit in front of any of the usual suspects for ridiculing people, my day would become even worse.

I sit in a seat which is in front of a few of the class rejects- they can't have much to say, can they?

For once today, I'm right. They just come in, sit down, and ignore me. I sigh, relaxing slightly in my seat. Chloe is behind me- I don't have to see her.

Except when she walks in the room.

Which she just has.


	9. Adrenaline Hurts

**Anyway, thank you all for your reviews, please continue with them! I hurried with this chapter because you guys wanted it so much =-) Enjoy, I think you'll like this chapter =-) Xx**

I tried my best to sink into the plastic of my chair, but somehow I don't blend with it that well. My heart is thumping fast and heavy. Static electricity runs it's way through me, making me wish to the high heavens for me to be somewhere else right now.

I can't make out the expression on her face because I'm not looking at her, but I can tell that she's scanning the filling room for me. My classmates are filing in after her, laughing and sniggering- some of them at me- but surprisingly, I don't particularly notice. I'm too focused on Chloe. They pass by her to go into their seats, but she still stands at the front of the room.

I have no interest in ever being friends with Chloe again, or even be on speaking terms with her. The pain is just too much. Every time I close my eyes, I can see her and Brady on that bed together; kissing, touching...

I gulp down tears. I know Brady isn't my boyfriend or anything, he barely knows I exist, but Chloe _knew_ that I had strong feelings for him. I know she didn't actually _sleep_ with Brady, but she would have if I hadn't walked in. She also blabbed to Samantha and her cronies, and who else knew what she had blabbed to them about? Everyone knows my mother left when I was little, but that's common knowledge. It's terribly lucky that I've never told her about my dad's drinking and abuse.

_That_ wouldn't have become common knowledge- it would have been a _weapon_ for everyone in the school to ridicule me.

I shuffle to the right a bit, hoping that she won't see my face. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to hear her voice, or hear her even _start_ to apologize to me. She had obviously not been drunk that night- I would have noticed it in her motions.

Why can't the floor just gobble me up? My preparation for this moment has obviously done no good whatsoever. I knew that I'd have to see Chloe and Brady sometime, but I'm still not ready.

Thankfully, Chloe moves on to her seat- she didn't see me sitting in the front corner of the class. It feels like I'm in a horror movie and the murderer has just passed the me, the unnoticed victim- relieved that the fear has past. I sigh, feeling my heart throb with the sudden departure of adrenaline. My head feels clear of the static fog that had past over it. I sigh shakily, feeling the unshed tears in my eyes become easier to hold in.

Mrs. Higgins begins the lesson by shrieking for some boys to stop throwing paper airplanes at each other. She hands out pieces of paper to all of us- we're going to do some sort of test.

I can hear people talking about me from behind- I can hear their sniggers and muffled laughs. Most of them are guys, but there are some girls joining in. A few people say my name, wanting me to turn around so they can ridicule me. Thank god I chose to sit at the front, otherwise I would have had no escape from both sides.

If you've ever been ridiculed by your classmates, you'll know how I'm feeling right now. My heart keeps pounding hard. I can feel blood rushing to my cheeks and making me go flame red. As much as I try to keep concentrated on my work, they're starting to get to me. My eyes start to water up, thank god no-one can see that, and I keep them focused on my notebook, doodling with my pen to keep me busy. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be when the bell rings and they're free to mock me without getting told off.

I want to just die right then. I'm a sensitive person, as you've probably noticed, and Chloe has hit me where it hurts: my crush on Brady.

In that moment, I realize that I can't wait for lunchtime to talk to Jordan- I need to do it sooner.

I have no idea how I got through Chemistry. The mocking didn't get easier to handle. Every once in a while I felt a finger prod me in my back, then muffled giggles and laughter. Every time that happened, I wanted to burst into tears- but I couldn't, I had to be strong, just for this one lesson. I didn't even want to think about English- that would just be ten times worse. When the bell rang, I darted out the door as quickly as I could, surprised that everyone was so slow. Then, just when I was away to stop 'darting' and walk to the office to phone Jordan, I heard shouts behind me, followed with laughter. Oh, god- I had thought. I had to basically run to get rid of them, dodging past people coming out of their classes.

And now, here I am standing outside the office, partially out of breath, with tears starting to run down my face. I've never felt this rubbish before in my life, even when they told me I had to live in the Orphanage. At least then I had known where I stood.

Someone slams something onto a desk, and that snaps me out of my sad reverie. I hurriedly wipe my eyes gently with the backs of my hands, hoping that my face isn't red.

When I'm inside the office, I can see the same receptionist from this morning on the phone, pen in hand with a notebook on the table. She's normally a tough old woman, saying all the right things but her eyes are always betraying her.

I walk up the desk, and try and smile. I'm sure that my eyes are red, or my tears have left marks. "Can I call somebody?"

To be honest, I expect her to say that I have to wait and get permission from the Head or something, but she surprises me. Her beady eyes take me in, tear-streaked face and all, and she kindly tells me: "You can use the phone in the back, dear."

For once, she seems sincere. Or maybe she's just mastered lying with her eyes.

Confused, my eyebrows knit together for a second, stunned by her kindness, and say thank you. I've never been through 'the back' before, and I've always wondered if they keep children prisoner in there.

I'm not in the mood to be hesitant, and walk straight through the door to the right. It's just an ordinary office- papers everywhere, keys, desks, computers. And a telephone.

I immediately walk over to it, noticing that the room is empty, and dial Jordan's mobile number. My fingertips tap anxiously on the buttons while it rings.

"Hello?"

The sound of his familiar voice somehow comforts me. I slump to the floor, clutching the phone to my ear with both hands. Through the glass window, I can see the receptionist tapping at her notebook with her pen, arguing with someone on the phone.

"Hello, anybody there?"

I realize that I haven't answered yet, and my eyes dart away from the window.

"Jordan? It's me," I say, knowing that I sound shaky. There's no point hiding it from him- he can always tell.

"Kayla? What's wrong? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" he throws question after question at me, the last one sounding disapproving, confused, and slightly angry.

"It's breaktime," I sniff.

"Oh, right. What's wrong? Kayla? _Are you crying?_" he sounds angry, but I know it's not at me. More at the thing that's _making_ me cry.

"Yeah." Tears run freely down my cheeks, and I'm glad that no-one can see me. All I want right now is a big hug from Jordan, and one of his specially-made hot chocolates.

"What's wrong?"

I tell him everything, still crying on the floor of the school office. Jordan's known about my crush on Brady since... well, forever. He's not exactly been thrilled about it, especially since it upsets me whenever Brady shags a new slut, but he's never put me down over it. I can tell that he'll be furious about all this, but I need to tell him. I need to tell _someone_ that understands me.

When I finish, there's silence on the other end. In it I can hear the rumbling of a car engine.

"Jordan?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you tell me all this in the morning, Kayla?" Jordan sounds sympathetic and sad.

"I... I don't know. I didn't think to," I stutter, sniffing. Maybe it's better not to tell him that I fell asleep in the woods and slept at a stranger's house just now...

"I think you should just go back to the Orphanage, Kayla. Especially since Brady _and_ Chloe are going to be in English, it'll be doubly hard on you."

That was _not_ what I expect him to say. I blink through my tears. Distantly, I can hear the receptionist telling someone firmly that she can't give another student's timetable to a student. I do my best to ignore her, and wipe my cuff against my cheeks in confusion.

"What? But I have to deal with this," I insist.

"Do it tomorrow, sweetheart, it'll still be there then. I'm coming down to see you- it was going to be a surprise, but that's gone down the pooper now. We'll spend some time together, and then you can go into school tomorrow with a clear mind and determination."

I'm stunned, but smiling through my sadness. Jordan's never called me 'sweetheart' before, but somehow, it didn't feel weird at all.

"You were coming down to surprise me?"

"Got your favorite chocolate in the trunk, too," I can hear that he's smiling. It makes me feel so much better, talking to him, that for a second I forget that my best friend is a slut.

And then, sitting on the floor of the office with drying tears on my face, I smile.

"You go on back to the Orphanage. Once I'm off the line to you, I'll phone the school and the Orphanage that you've had some sort of emergency. I _am_ your legal guardian, after all," he says the last bit smugly, and I laugh with him.

Until I notice that Brady is the one talking to the receptionist, head down grimly. His eyes look so sad and bleak as he tries to convince the receptionist to do something. I hear the last sentence that the receptionist says before the shock hits me:

"... can't give you her timetable, dear, it's against the rules."

My smile disappears, breath catching in my throat and heart thumping hard again- I'd forgotten how gorgeous he is. I'm frozen, sitting there with my mouth open and tears falling freely down my cheeks again.

Oh god, I have to get out of here before he sees me. As soon as his eyes meet mine, they'll be filled with ridiculing laughter. And then, with the receptionist watching, he'll make fun of me.

"Jordan, the receptionist needs her phone back, I'll see you tonight," I lie, keeping my eyes on the floor. I'm terrified that if I look at him, he'll feel someone's staring at him- you know, that weird feeling.

"Okay, but you're going straight home, right?"

"Yeah. Look, I have to be quick, love you," I hurry, hanging up.

Darting a glance at Brady, I see that he's staring at the receptionist and speaking urgently. Placing the phone back onto the table, I crawl under a desk under on the opposite side of the room. Yes, I know, you may be thinking 'that's a bit far-fetched', but what else am I supposed to do? It's not like I'm planning to stay here for a while, but I need to find a way out of the office without bumping into Brady.

I look around the room in panic. Damn, there are no doors!

"I can't give you her timetable, young man, I don't know how many times I have to tell you," I can hear the receptionist's muffled voice from my current embarrassing position underneath the desk. Hopefully nobody will come in. Oh god, this is insane, how am I going to get out of here?

I know my eyes are wide with fear as they dart around the room. Maybe I could leg it out of a window? No, that's insane. They're too small, and the receptionist will wonder where on Earth I've gone.

"But I _need_ to find out where she is!"

At the sound of Brady's voice, I freeze, clutching my chest. I'd forgotten how gorgeous and deep his voice is. Is he looking for _my_ timetable? Oh my god, he's planning on barging into my lesson and making fun of me there. He's _that_ desperate to make me hurt?

Instead of sitting there to wallow in my sadness, I push everything to the back out of my mind and focus on getting out of here. There's only one door, and that's the way I came in. Oh, god, and where Brady is standing right now.

I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths. My hand hikes my bag strap onto my shoulder again, and I just hold onto it for a second. _Think about Jordan. Just think about Jordan, and how much you've missed him. When this is all over, he'll be there_- I tried to tell myself. _And don't look at Brady._

And with that, I stand up.

Without looking through the glass window, I keep my eyes on the floor as I walk to the door. My heart is pounding the hardest it's been all day, I can even hear it in my _ears_. I don't think he's seen me yet, but I can't be sure- my eyes are fixed on the floor as if it's the most riveting TV show on Earth.

I can tell that my hand is shaking when my hand slowly grasps the door handle. I feel a little better now knowing that I'm hidden by the door and he can't _actually_ see me. Everything's about to get worse though, I can feel it. Something inside me is saying that I'll never get by him unnoticed.

I take a deep breath, think about Jordan and all the other things I've battled in my rather short life, and push down on the handle.

Just knowing that I'm in the same room as him makes me feel so electrical that it makes me cold. The blood running through my veins seems to have trouble getting about my body, and I can feel it throb. I don't look at him as I close the door of the office behind me, but I can feel someone watching me- whether it's the receptionist or Brady, I have no idea.

A faint feeling seems to creep into my brain, but I push it back somehow and turn round.

Straight into the eyes of Brady.

{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

My breath seems to stop. This is the moment I've been dreading. I'm too stunned to move, and through my current terrified state of mind I wait for the mocking.

But the laughter never comes. And Brady doesn't look... well, good at all. I never noticed before through the glass window, but he has shadows underneath his eyes, as if he didn't go to sleep last night.

I'm too scared to say anything, but I can't look away from him either. His eyes just seemed to catch me with a net, holding me prisoner. They're extraordinarily brown like a little puppy's. They look stunned, matching my own, but after a few moments they become desperate and adoring.

Yes, I'm confused. And scared. I'm the most confused and scared that I've ever been in my life. But I can't look away.

"Kayla," he croaks, gulping in desperation. The receptionist is staring at us both, but I can't bring myself to care right now.

He just said my _name_. Brady said my name. And it sounded like a caress, so beautiful coming from his lips. For just a second, I feel myself go soft and velvety, forgetting every little bit of hurt that he's done to me. I'm just a girl with a stupid crush again. That second is bliss.

But I can't forget. The memories come flying back like a jet plane and invade my mind like Hitler- all the cheap trips to the bathroom with a popular girl, him and Chloe on that bed together causing my classmates to ridicule and embarrass me with the knowledge of my crush on him, and the fact that I'll never be good enough for a popular like him. Not good enough for _anybody_.

I manage to tear my eyes away from him and rush to the door. Humiliation is strong in my mind. My ears hear him shout my name again, but my mind just doesn't seem to take it in. But it sounds almost as if he's _crying_. Why is Brady _crying_? Brady never cries, ever. And why is he crying now? Oh god, it's one of his jokes, isn't it. He wants to pretend to cry to make fun of me. I bet he's smug right now, with fake sadness in his eyes and a mocking smirk on his stupid perfect lips.

I'm so confused and hurt that it takes every ounce of determination in my body not to look round as I hurry down the stone steps. Oh god, I had forgotten that it was breaktime- the entire school is watching me with smirks as I hurry down the path to the sidewalk. I'd been wrong earlier- _this_ is the worst I've ever felt in my life. I hate being the center of attention, and this is the wrong type of attention too. This isn't some birthday party with me as the centerpiece- this is me

A few people laugh at me as I clutch the strap of my bag closer to me, tears in my eyes. I sniff hard.

Then I can hear the entrance doors crash open after me, and heavy footsteps approaching my hurrying figure. I know who it is without turning round, and that makes me tear up even more because he won't leave me alone. A popular sitting on the bench with a cigarette in his hand, flicking ash and laughing at me with his friends, starts to look amazed and stunned. I know it's because of Brady following me.

Oh god, everyone is watching. Everyone is seeing me cry. And it's just about to get worse.

"Kayla, _stop!_" he says desperately from behind me.

I don't stop, just keep going. Like I do with everything bad in my life. This is a different hurt from the one I felt when my dad had hit me, or when I got taken away from my home, or when Jordan told me that our mother had left us by _choice_ when we were younger. No, this is a very different pain- the stab right in the heart with a sharp knife, sort of pain.

"Kayla!" I feel his hand on my shoulder. It makes me snap.

"Just leave me alone, don't you think I feel shit enough?" I snap, turning round. As much as I try and sound angry and cold, I'm just not built like that, and can hear my voice waver with tears.

He looks as if he's... heartbroken. He's a good actor.

There's probably no point telling you how horrible I feel right now. You can probably guess. I feel humiliated, scared, sick, and emotionally and physically tired.

"I need to talk to you!" he says urgently. It's strange, but I think I can actually see tears in his eyes. They look heartbroken- as if he can barely contain his hurt too.

Oh my god, is this really happening? It feels like a dream. Right now, I just want everything to go away. My tears keep running down my face, and although I will them to stop, they just won't. It's as if I have no control over my own body anymore. My feelings are crushed- as if they have no life anymore. The blood running through my veins feels like electricity once again, and I'm certain that if I had Jordan here with me I could cope better with this.

But here's not here. Just like my mother's not here. I'm always on my own. And now Brady wants to play his stupid Make-The-Girl-With-A-Crush-Cry-Even-More game.

"Just leave me alone," I stutter/yell, sobbing now, and run off down the street in the direction of the Orphanage.

At the end of the road, when I don't hear any footsteps running after me, I dart a glance back, whimpering. I'm stunned and freakishly confused by what I see. Brady is on his knees in the dirty road, shaking, and Embry is running toward him and lifting him up. They seem to be running into the woods, though Brady is stumbling shakily.

I whimper once more and run to the Orphanage, practically hysterical. My heart has _officially _broken into a thousand pieces.


	10. Hitting Home

**Here's the next chapter! And by the way, as you've probably noticed, I've split this chapter into two parts again. But it _is_ one chapter, it just got too long to post as a whole. I don't like posting chapter more than 2000 words long, otherwise I can't read it over and spellcheck it so quickly. **

**Oh, and to MakingMiraclesHappen, this story is set during Eclipse. And Brady is 16 instead of 14. Sorry, I should have said that before. =-)**

**Thank you for all your reviews!**

**Anyway, enjoy, and please continue to review! =-) Xx**

When I get back to the Orphanage, I run upstairs to my room and throw myself on my bed, sobbing. Jordan must have told them on the phone that I'm upset- nobody follows me up. Long sobs just seem to come out of me uncontrollably. I have no control over them whatsoever. It's as if they have a mind of their own, each one worse than the last.

I stay like this for an hour or so. I've cried so much that my throat is hurting and I have red eyes. My body feels stiff from staying in the same position for such a long time- lying face down with my head in my arms- and my muscles have cramped up slightly. Eventually, and thankfully, my sobs begin to quieten. I sit up on my bed and breathe in and out carefully, wiping my red tear-stained cheek with my hands.

I've never cried like that, and for that length of time, in my _life_.

After drying my tears and wishing my red cheeks away, I just sit there before standing up. My throat feels parched and dry, croaky with dehydration, and I decide to get a drink. My mind feels frozen, along with my body, as I stiffly open my bedroom door and softly walk myself down the stairs. My cheeks suddenly feel hot, but I know I'm not blushing. No, it must be from crying so many tears.

The staircase feels longer than usual to get down. Maybe it's because I'm walking so slow. I can hear the happy cooing of the supervisors to the tots, along with the crashing toys of the kids, as I reach the bottom. The kitchen door is opposite the sitting room, where all the babies usually play around this time, and I pause at the bottom and look into it. There are about three supervisors on shift, all playing with the kids. A few of them aren't here because they're old enough for kindergarten, but the babies are. Baby toys are scattered about the place, but the supervisors seem to have control of all of them.

Normally, I would have smiled. But I just can't seem to yet. I look in for a moment, then carry on into the kitchen.

After pouring myself a glass of orange juice, I take a sip and lean my back against the fridge. My throat immediately feels better with the cold drink running inside of it, making it's way down to my nauseous-feeling stomach. I notice how numb I feel about this whole Brady thing- like I've cried myself out. Unfortunately, I know it won't last long.

Suddenly, I become alarmed with I see movement at the doorway on the floor. For one crazy moment, I think it might be a massive blue spider. I look down, wide-eyed, in shock. But it's only little Alex- the baby boy who Sam fed his breakfast this morning. A lifetime ago.

I smile down at him despite my current sad state of mind. He's crawling round the door, having made his way through from the sitting room. Dressed in his blue shirt, blue jeans, and tiny grey socks, he looks so cheeky and adorable.

"Hello, cheeky, are you being a naughty boy and running away from the supervisor?" I coo, mock-shocked. See, this is one of the good things about living in an Orphanage: the babies always make me happier.

He giggles, a big toothless smile on his face, and shuffles toward me. His tiny grey socks begin to come off of his feet as he drags himself adorably to me.

"Oh my god, where's Alex?" I can hear the supervisor panic from the next room. She can't see into here because the door is half-shut.

"He immigrated through here," I call, placing my glass on the counter and lean down to pick him up, smiling broadly. "Do you want me to give him his lunch?"

"Oh, would you, Kayla? That would be great." Even though there's a wall separating us, I can hear the relief clear in her voice. A baby cries, possibly for attention, and I can hear her cooing at them through the wall.

Alex snuggles himself down into the nook of my shoulder, and I kiss his forehead adoringly.

"Now then, baby boy, let's get you some nice lunch," I open up the fridge for some of his baby food. Once I find some pureed peas, I hold onto him easily with one arm while using my other one to drag out one of the high chairs we keep behind the door.

After feeding him and placing his pacifier in his mouth, I carry him through to his cot in the sitting room. His eyelids are already drooping when I carefully lay him down for his afternoon nap.

I distract myself from the pain in my heart by busying myself with the kids. I can tell it's still there, but I try and ignore it. It sits in there, waiting for me to remember it, but I can't let myself think.

I distract myself, managing to avoid the sadness that's waiting for me for a few hours, but eventually the supervisors tell me that I should take a break. All the babies are napping peacefully, which should have made me peaceful, but I'm completely the opposite. My mind feels clogged again, thoughts pouring back into it, the same ones as before. I can't push the sadness back any longer.

I'm all alone in the sitting room, looking round at the kids while the supervisors have their cups of tea and biscuits. Tears start to prick at my eyes, making them strain to hold them back, but it does no good. A few are already making their way down my face.

To be honest, I think I could've coped with everyone knowing I have a crush on Brady when he and Chloe hadn't fooled around. The betrayal of her friendship is part of the cause of my tears. The other part, I guess, is I've never grieved for my mother that I'll never know- perhaps it's because I was so young when she left and didn't understand it. And delayed grief- definitely delayed grief. Now everything's hit me. All at once.

Not wanting to accidently wake the babies, I silently run up the stairs to my room. I expected a repeat of the episode of tears I had when returning to the Orphanage earlier, but I'm surprised when they don't seem to come out.

I end up sitting on my bed and stare into space. I can't shed the tears much, even though they're gathering up. A few escape the prison of sadness that are my eyes, and slide themselves down my still partly red cheeks.

The darkness in my room is welcomed by me for once. I used to hate it- somehow the blackness always used to make me think about the horrors of my life. But now it's calming. My sea of thoughts, which would have caused me pain to think in my right state of mind, feel blank. It's as if I've worn them all out. The darkness seems to ease my sensitive mind and thoughts.

I just... don't know what to do anymore. If only he hadn't been at the office today- I might not have been feeling this crap right now. I don't feel anything anymore.

"Kayla! Jordan's here early!" an excited voice said. It's so annoying when you're miserable and someone else is happy, but I can't really be bothered by that right now.

I blink, snapping back to life and reality. Has it been that long? I've been sitting her for an hour or so? What did she say? Jordan's here early? But he can't be. He lives in_ Seattle_- that's _hours _away.

I wipe my eyes as I hurry down the stairs to tell her she must've got the wrong person. I can tell my cheeks are still slightly red, but hopefully it'll just look like a blush- I'm scared that I'll just start crying if one of the supervisors asks me what's wrong.

I stop in shock halfway down the stairs, seeing who's at the door. Jordan's smiling and talking politely with one of the supervisors, showing her what's in the picnic basket he's carrying.

I don't think about anything else, and run down the rest of the stairs. His face turns to me and lights up. I just jump on him, throwing my arms around his neck tightly. I've missed him so much, even if it _has_ been only a few weeks since I've last seen him. So much has happened since then.

"Woah, easy, honey," I hear him chuckle, but I can detect the worry hidden beneath his voice.

Just for now, I can't be bothered saying that I'm fine, like I always do whenever he asks me how I am.

I completely ignore everything apart from the strong hug he's giving me, and just let myself be comforted by my big brother again with tears in my eyes.


	11. Sunset and Truth

**Brady returns! I'm so happy to be writing about him again lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter cause I had so much fun writing it! Kayla isn't getting over this anytime soon, but she's slowly realizing that she can get through it, but it will just take time.**

**And I've changed the previous chapter into just the one chapter, and not a two parter. I had planned to make this chapter about Jordan's night with Kayla, but then I thought of writing this and I chose it instead. =-)**

**Oh and MakingMiraclesHappen (or Kayla, when you forget your password lol), you'll just have to wait and see, but the Cullens _will_ be in this story, but only a little. If the rest of you guys don't like that, then just tell me because nothing is set in stone yet. =-)**

**Enjoy, and please review! Xx**

That night made me relax for the first time in days, but was ruined when Brady had made an appearance.

Jordan had just left after a night of cheering me up. I had been waving him goodbye with a huge smile on my face. Everything had brightened up by then. I hadn't been fully cured, but Jordan was a bit like asprin to me. He told me to be strong, and to take the day off of school the next day. Although I missed school, and I feel uncomfortable when I do that, I was still thankful. Somehow, after a day with Jordan, the idea of going back to school was terrifying and surreal. Like wrecking my good mood.

So Jordan phoned the school while he was sitting in my room watching Titanic with me, telling them that I wouldn't be in on Friday. I did _not_ expect him to do that, and I had watched him with wide eyes filled with shock and surprise. I had feared that if I told Jordan why I didn't want to go to school, he would just say that I was being stupid. But he did the total opposite and supported me. For that, I can never repay him.

After that, I had felt as high as a kite. The sadness and pain still sat in my heart, but I felt strong enough to fight it off. Then I did, at least.

And so, when he had finally left the Orphanage at ten o'clock, I had waved chirpily at him as he drove off into the night. He didn't have work the next morning- if he did, he would have never stayed so late.

Just when I stepped backwards onto the stone porch to go get some sleep, I'd noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Now, I wish that I had just carried on inside the house. At least then I could've fallen asleep into a remotely non-troubled slumber.

After my eye caught the movement in the woods, I had stood for a moment, and stopped breathing when the person came out.

Of course, it just had to be Brady. It just _had_ to be Brady who was the first person- other than the people I've told- at school to find out that I live in an Orphanage instead of with a loving family.

I swear my heart had missed a beat in that moment. My breathing, after commencing again, had hitched, stuck in my throat like a trapped fish. He had this horrified, sad, _painful _look on his face that, through my already confused and pained mind, I couldn't make any sense of. Our eyes had just... locked with each others, unable to look away.

It was like conquering a fear: you have to confront it to get over it. And I _desperately_ wanted to ask him what the fuck he was doing at my home, but I just couldn't- it was too soon.

He just... stared at me, somehow managing to look adoring. That I did not get. Why on earth was he standing outside my house with an adoring expression on his face. I remember thinking to myself- he's just acting. He's just a very good actor and wants to ridicule me in the worst way possible. By pretending that he cared.

"You- you live in an Orphanage?" he had stuttered, a horrified expression taking place on his face.

Then he had started shaking tremendously, and ran back into the forest.

I had stood there for a few minutes, on the stoney doorstep, and just... stared into the direction he had left in. _Well, __**that **__was weird_- I had thought, shaky myself.

I had just managed to move myself inside the house again when my mind started working. Then it had hit me like a train.

Brady would be telling everyone in the school that I live in the Orphanage. My life was officially over. Everybody's ridiculing would get _one hundred_ times worse.

Honestly, looking back, I think I had a panic attack then. Right there on the welcome mat, the door shut firmly behind me, I had frozen. My heart started to beat furiously in my chest, and it had gotten harder to breathe. I could hear the cooing sounds and giggles from the sitting room, and somehow that made me even more panicked. Maybe because nobody noticed that I'd been standing there, clutching my chest as if my heart was about to fall.

Eventually, after a minute or two, everything started to ease. Oxygen could freely make it's way to my lungs again. My heart had still beat fast, but at a more normal and reassuring level. The panic that had built up eased slightly too, but stayed a little in my chest.

I felt a little more normal, but normal panic replaced the panic _attack_. At least I didn't have to worry about if I was going to die, but I didn't count that as a plus. My mind had then been filled with thoughts of what would happen when I go back to school on Monday.

It's Saturday now, and I'm sitting against a tree overlooking the cliff, doodling mindlessly on a piece of paper that's leaning on my knees. My notebook and Rachel's notebooks from school are underneath it- I've taken some schoolwork out with me to try and catch up with what I missed yesterday, but none of it is going through. She came by the Orphanage yesterday after school and gave it to me, along with a long rant about my missing school over some guy, but I can tell that she _does_ understand. On some level, anyway.

Jordan had said that one day off from school couldn't hurt, but somehow, I think he was wrong. I was worrying all of yesterday, while lying in bed all day, about everyone who probably now knows that I live in an Orphanage. I couldn't bring myself to be thankful for not being there. But I keep thinking to myself- would it have been easier for me to be there yesterday? That question plagued me like a disease as I walked down here this afternoon.

The sun is calming just now. It's about an hour till sunset and has a beautiful golden glow. It's strange how on Thursday afternoon, the _darkness_ had been calming.

I'm still worrying over what happened at school yesterday, and still in so much pain over Chloe. But Rachel told me something yesterday that actually, and surprisingly, is helping me. It's a pretty simple thing to say, but when Rachie said it to me, somehow it became more real. She told me, plain and simple, that Chloe isn't worth being pained over. And when Rachel left with a strict order for me to be strong, I thought about it for a few seconds, and realized it's true. I also realized that I'd forgotten to ask her about Brady, and if he'd told everyone yet.

To be honest, I'm quite proud of myself. I know it sounds like bragging when I say that, but I'm actually a really sensitive person deep down. This whole Chloe and Brady thing has hit me hard, but after talking to Rachel yesterday and Jordan on Thursday, I'm actually beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I just never want to talk to either Brady or Chloe again. And I still think that whenever I see them, together or apart, I still won't be strong enough to ignore them. I might run into the toilets to cry, or become dependant on Rachel to keep my mind off of Brady when we're in English, but for now I have to just take it one day at a time.

Where I'm getting the strength for me to say all this, I have no idea, but I have a sneaky feeling that Rachel and Jordan are helping. Oh, and baby Alex too.

God, I love it here. I breathe in the fresh forest air through my nose, and breathe it out through my mouth, closing my eyes. It's so beautiful here that I never want to leave. After the horror of my pain, it feels nice to be somewhere where I'm _comfortable_. That's exactly how I felt with Jordan on Thursday night.

Speaking of Jordan, he's coming down again tomorrow morning to look at the house he's bought for us. We still have to wait for the previous residents to move out- some thirty-day contract or something- but he said that I should come too. At least _that's_ something to be at least a _tiny_ bit excited for. It's in La Push, but it's a relatively new building, quite close to school. I know that Jordan half-wanted to move us both somewhere else, but I have so many memories here, good or bad, that I can't just pack up and leave. Plus, there's a lot of work here for Jordan as a solicitor.

As you can see, I'm getting there. I've pushed the 'mother left me' stuff to the back of my mind to deal with later. Don't ask me how I managed to do that, because I don't even know myself.

But as I sit here, ignoring mine and Rachel's notebooks and watching over the cliff top at the blue water, I can't help wondering what life would be like if my mother is sat here with me.

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

"Wow," I gasp, a huge smile on my face as I walk through the front door of my soon-to-be new home.

It's Sunday morning, and Jordan's showing me the beautiful new house. We still don't get to move in yet, even though the previous owners have moved out, because of some thirty day contract that hasn't finished up yet.

It's absolutely beautiful. Straight when you walk in, you're met with a gorgeous, fresh, white painted room. A small crystal chandelier hangs from above us. We've walked straight into a small room, which, despite the space, can't be the living room. The floor is made of a strong light brown polished wood, stretching to every corner of the room, then stopping at doors. I tilt my head the left, awe still fresh in my system, and look into the next room.

I gasp delightfully, scurrying over to have a proper look. Jordan chuckles and follows me in.

Have I told you what Jordan looks like yet? Don't think I have. He has a slightly tall, muscular physique, with my big brown eyes. I guess we look alike, except he has more luck with the opposite sex and dark hair instead of my blonde. We have the same tanned skin tone, the same nose and eyes, and the same stubbornness. He's not all perfect though, and can be annoying as hell, but yet I still can't wait to live with the only family I have left.

The living room of our new house is painted a calming creamy yellow instead of white. It's completely empty, but still has a fresh, homey feel to it. I love it already, and I haven't even picked my room yet.

Oh my god, my room.

I squeal. Jordan looks at me in some surprise.

"My room! Can I pick my room?" I jump up and down, my hands clasped together against my chest as if praising God for this house.

Jordan laughs, eyes twinkling.

"I call the biggest one though. But they're all pretty big."

I'm too excited to scowl at him for saying that. I jump up and down even more, squealing one last time before hurrying out of the room. My bedroom will be the place that needs to be a space of solitude for me, holding my secrets within it's walls, the place where I'll cry over Brady and Chloe. It needs to be special and comforting. There's no better time to pick my room than now- first impressions are everything, and I'm _so _glad that I'll be able to pick out my room while I'm in a relatively happy mood.

I hurry into the room which we first entered through the front door, and run up the white painted staircase. The hallway has the same wooden flooring as the... what shall we call it, the entrance room? Ooh, that sounds so fancy. This hallway feels more modern than downstairs, with golden spotlights shining down, a few hanging baskets filled with gorgeous flowers. I can't wait to water them as a resident of this house and not just a visitor.

I walk down it, beaming with excitement running through me like fire. From the staircase, right is the only way to go. Left is a beautiful looking dead-end. The doors are made of the same wood as the floor but more polished. There are four doors, three on the right side of the hall and one facing me as I practically _float _my way down in happiness. Looking into the first room, I can see that Jordan has bagged this one. It's huge, with a big double bed still there, but it looks more like a guys room, so I'm not disappointed.

Walking down the hall again, I grasp the handle of the next door and walk straight in.

I gasp.

It's the best room ever. There's a large glass bay window on the other side of the room, presumably looking out into the garden. I can just imagine sitting there on a rainy night, cuddled up with blankets and reading a book. It's the perfect room to relax and watch movies with Rachel. The walls are decorated in the same relaxing creamy yellow color as the living room. A single bed is situated in the middle of the room, with no sheets, but I can sort that.

It's not as big as Jordan's room, but it's cozy, beautiful, and just _perfect. _I can't _wait_ to tell Rachel about this when we go to the cinema tonight!

I just stand there, gazing at it, for a few minutes. I put one hand on the door frame distractedly. This place will be a new start for myself and Jordan. A place where we can be happy together, and where I can finish growing up in a house with someone who loves me. For once in my life, I feel like I _deserve _this happy thing.

"Don't you want to see the next room?" I hear Jordan behind me. He makes me jump a little- I didn't hear any footsteps behind me.

"No, this is the one," I glance at him, then back at my beautiful room.

He puts an arm around me, pulling me to his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a big cuddle.

"I can't believe this is happening at last. There were points that I never believed we would ever be here," I say in disbelief, squeezing him. It's true- a few points, whether through tough times at school or bad beatings from my dad, I had found it hard to believe that I would finally be standing here with Jordan.

"I know. But this is a fresh start for me and you. I know what... that man did to us won't ever psychologically fade, but at least we can be happy together now," Jordan sighs. I can hear a perceptible pause before he calls our father 'that man', but I sort of feel thankful that he didn't call him 'dad'. That man is _no_ dad to us. More like a constant demonic presence in both of our childhoods.

We just stand there for a minute. There's no anger at our horrid childhoods, but sadness and, more than anything, happiness that we are finally here at last. Our nightmare is over.

Those reassuring thoughts run around in my head for a moment, feeling blissful. I'm so happy to just _be_ with Jordan. And now we have this beautiful house in which we can finally be happy in. Somehow, it feels like too much.

I feel so happy, until the moment that I remember that our nightmare isn't entirely over. Our mother is still out there somewhere, and I still haven't told Jordan that Chloe's dad had 'spotted' our mother in the woods. I don't like thinking about Chloe right now, but I realize that I have to tell Jordan. It's the right thing to do.

"Jordan?" I start, pulling away. He smiles at me, wanting me to go on. For a second, my throat seizes up and I don't want to tell him. He's so happy right now, and I don't want to be the one to break that happiness.

_He's stronger than you_- my mind reminds me. That's the only useful thing my mind has said to me in a _long_ time.

"Before... all this, with Chloe and that, she told me something," I stutter, suddenly finding it difficult to say her name out loud. "She said that our mom had been spotted in the woods by her dad." I hope he gets what I'm saying. I keep referring to our mother _and _Chloe as 'she' and 'her'.

Jordan doesn't say anything. A range of emotions pass across his face- disbelief, anger, shock, sadness, confusion, then finally settling on disbelief again.

"It _couldn't _have been her. She's long gone. She packed up all her stuff and left," he says brutally, almost to himself.

I can feel tears come into my eyes. He's never said it like that before. Nobody really told me how she left, much less _why _she left, but I never thought it would have been that she just... didn't want us anymore.

"Oh, Kayla, I'm sorry," Jordan's realized that I'm upset, gently bringing me back into a cuddle again. It make me feel better.

After a moment, I pull back, smiling and wiping my eyes as if it isn't a big deal that our mother left us alone to an abusive jerk.

"We'll be able to move in soon," he changes the subject, looking around the room. "I left my phone downstairs- I'll double-check the day we can move in."

He leaves me at at the door of my gorgeous room, and just before he leaves, I think I see a few unshed tears in his eyes.

My feet seem to have a life of their own again, and I mindlessly wander over to the bay window. I sit myself down on the wide ledge. My eyes rake over the garden, and somehow end up gazing into the woods.

For a second I think I see a tuft of fur through the leafy trees, like a big dog. But when I blink, shocked, and lean closer to take a closer look through the window, there's nothing there. Nothing at all.

I lean back. My heart is beating like crazy in my chest. But it feels differently to the more recent times it's beaten this hard. This time, it's in shock and disbelief.

Did I just see a _wolf?_


	12. Try Being Me

**Special shout out to **_**-DuckEgg- **_**YOUR EMAIL IS BROKEN, CALL ME, YOU PLUM! =-P**

**Just had to say that. =-) Anyway, I'm sorry for the wait, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Turns out we **_**didn't**_** have Internet connection over there. There was an Internet Cafe, but this creepy guy next to me was watching me on the computer and I didn't want to enter my password and email in front of him, you know? I was just as frustrated as you are that it took this long. In fact, more lol. Italian people are really rude by the way, I was sort of glad to get away. Venice itself was gorgeous though =-)**

**This chapter is sort of a filler. The next one will be longer and more important. Okay, in fact **_**very**_** important. **

**Happy holidays everyone, hope you're having a good time! Please review! =-) Xx**

I meet up with Rachel that night. I've been looking forward to this. She has a sort of... knack of making me forget about my troubles and just be my normal crazy self. Hopefully she can work her magic tonight once again.

I practically bounce into the cinema, somehow not caring about the stares as I focus on finding Rachel. I'm practically bubbling with excitement. Not only is this the movie that I have wanted to see... well, for _months_, but I also get to be cheered up by my friend. Double bonus.

That doesn't mean that I've forgotten everything, however much I wish I do. I can feel the anger and sadness still sitting in my heart, just waiting for me to be alone for it to pounce, but today I'm determined to hold it together and not shout in a fit of rage. Seeing the house which Jordan has bought for us- _me_ and _him_, no disinterested or absent parents- has really made me feel happier. Not one hundred percent better, but able to see things in a slightly more positive light.

My excited eyes spot Rachel in the Popcorn and Candy section, doing her browsing.

"My Rachie!" I say thrilly, dramatically clasp my hands to my chest like a nun as I walk towards her.

"Very funny," she snaps, but I can tell she's only joking. "Looking forward to the movie, I see? Now, I need to ask you the most important question in life itself. Your future happiness, and also my future happiness, depend on you answering this question. I hope you realize that throughout this dramatic speech, I am working up toward something... dramatic," she paused, staring me in the eyes seriously. "Do you want Twizzlers or Chocolate?"

I blink. "Twizzlers. You know I love Twizzlers, why are you even asking me that?"

Rachel smiles secretly.

"A test to see if you're feeling happy today despite the Brady situation. If you were unhappy, you would have said whatever. Happy, you would have asked me what the hell I'm doing asking you that question. Which you just did. You passed the test!"

I don't know why I'm even surprised by this oh-so-cleverly-thought test, but I am. I guess I just thought I had convinced her enough that I'm coping instead of... well, _not_. She's been texting me non-stop over the weekend, asking me what I'm doing and if I'm alone and thinking about Brady. Once she went as far as to ask if I was feeling suicidle yet. Yes, that did really do wonders in cheering me up. Note the sarcasm.

The sadness is slowly creeping away, the mourning of my lost best friend fading slightly, and being replaced by anger. I would _never_ do that to my best friend. Or in fact, just anyone. Even my worst enemy wouldn't have to worry about that around me. It's not fair that Chloe did this to me, when I already have to much to deal with. Some of it good, like moving in with Jordan, and the bad stuff, like thinking about Brady all the time. I'm ashamed to say that I keep having romantic dreams about him. My subconscious mind keeps bringing him up as if he's a missing part of me. In my dream, he's just Brady again. The one with all the girls fawning over him. I don't seem to remember anything about Chloe- none of that has happened in my dreams. He leans down and kisses me several times, smiling at me, not in the way that he smiles at all the girls. He smiles at me as if I'm special.

And when I wake up, I feel guilty and stupid, and perhaps on some level, a little disappointed. I get angry at myself about that. And I know that I can never tell anyone about my dreams. Even Jordan would say that I'm being stupid.

I think I am too.

But anyway, back to the present.

"I'm getting these chewy sweetie thingies, and maybe some salted popcorn, do you want-?" Her eyes suddenly widen at something behind me. "Oh, fuck."

I frown in confusion and begin to turn round.

"No, don't look get round! Let's go buy these sweets!" she adds, a little too excitedly forced. I've already turned by the time she says 'buy'.

At first, I don't know what she's gawping at. I see the usual bunch of light brown chairs in the corner of the room, their shiny armrests and legs, the TV promoting the latest films next to them. A few kids are sat in a group around one of the matching light brown tables, laughing and talking over their cokes. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I'm just away to turn back to her, a mocking and confused frown on my face, when I finally notice the person leaning his hands against an empty chair.

At first I see the man he's talking to, Sam, and for half a second, I think about yelling him over to thank him for all he's done for me. Then I see who he's talking to.

For a second, I just freeze in shock. My one night of being remotely happy, and _this _happens. All of my organs, particularly my heart, feel as if they're not working. My breathing has stopped, my heart skipping a beat, held in this moment of suspense.

The person being talked at by Sam is none other than Brady. I barely notice that his head is down and he looks _horrible_. Like he hasn't slept in a week. He has both hands set behind him on the chair, supporting himself with his eyes on the floor. From the look of him, you'd think that his mother had just been killed by his best friend and his dad didn't give a shit. What on earth is he looking like that for?

I don't know what I feel right now. There's no way to describe it. Like a mixture of surprising anger, sadness, pain, and something else in me that I don't like. I feel as if I should do something to make him feel better, which I _do not_ get. What am I meant to care if he's upset? It's wrong to even _partly _feel the way I am right now, as if I should do something to cheer him up.

Sam is talking to him, well, more _at_ him. Brady doesn't look as if he's particularly listening. Sam is staring down at him urgently, mouth visibly moving as if what he's saying is _extremely_ important.

"Ignore him, Kayla, he's not worth it. Remember what I said to you? They're just _not worth it_. Let's look at the sweets instead, _they're_ worth it," Rachel tries to distract me, gripping my arms gently. I barely hear her. I don't really know what to do, I seem to be frozen in this state of anger/pain/sad-for-Brady.

I don't have time to prepare myself when Brady looks up. Maybe I blink, but on second Brady's eyes are on the floor, then on me. The sadness isn't dominating his face now. They're filled with wonder and disbelief. Sam keeps talking at him for a few seconds more, then looks up, still with the same serious expression on his face, and looks to see what Brady is staring at. Me.

I'm sure that my heart isn't beating, along with my breathing- I'm sure that's stopped too. I just... don't know what to do right now. Why do his eyes always capture mine like I'm a criminal and he's a prisoner officer? A million feelings rush through me as I can't look away from him. The tingly, electric feeling is back, and I don't like it. It's a horrible feeling.

I feel Rachel's hands grip me harder, and they force me away from Brady's eyes and toward her again. I stare somewhere between her chest and her throat in shock and anger. My breathing begins to go really crazy now that I'm away from Brady's eyes, sort of heaving and gasping. After a moment, they just begin to stick in my throat, trapped there. But they're not with sadness for some reason, and an unexpected feeling just takes over me.

I'm angry at Brady and Chloe. Both of them, but in this moment, it's just Brady. He's ruining my special night with Rachel. We've been waiting for this day for ages, and the fact that he's here now is all his fault. Not being smug, I feel rather proud of myself for being angry with them. At least now I know that the sadness has passed and the anger is easier to control.

"Look, Kayla, I know you're upset, but you need to snap out of this and-"

"I'm not upset- I'm angry," I realize the feeling running through me, and look up at her in surprise. "He's ruining our special night," I whine.

Rachel's eyes widen in presumable shock, then narrow.

"Yeah, he is, come on, let's just ignore him and hope he's not in to see Superbad too."

I don't notice how Brady's eyes light up right then- we're hurriedly buying our sweets and popcorn. I can't stop myself from slamming down the Twizzlers on the counter, hardly paying attention when I hand over the money. Sure, I'm still sad, but I'm sick of being a little girl with a crush. Maybe now I can finally get over Brady once and for all.

But from the way my heart suddenly clenches at that thought, getting over him may take a long time. My heart doesn't seem to _want_ to forget him for some reason.


	13. Running From Your Heart

**I really do hate my brother sometimes. It's been two weeks since he promised to fix my laptop. He's like, amazing with computers, and told me that if I wanted it done quicker I would have to pay him. Like hell I didn't- we're family! Anyway, I typed this up on the slow computer that I hate again. I hate this computer. It blows. **

**And to the people who believe this story is going too slowly, I don't really think it is. I was planning on making this a long story anyway. =-)**

**Anyway, I'm jabbering on now, please enjoy this chapter and review, I made this extra long just for you guys! Xx**

My eyes stare down into my mass of popcorn as Rachel and I walk up the slope of the cinema screen together. She's muttering under her breath about Brady being 'a total toothpick'. I welcome her anger for some reason. I _need _someone to fume with, someone who understands my feelings. But not even I understand my feelings right now. They're mixed like a witch's potion, some fuming for days, others newly found.

I let Rachel pick which seats we go in for once. We normally bicker for a few seconds over which seats in the middle to sit in. We both don't want people sitting next to us- not because we don't like people or anything, but because they usually turn out to smell hideous or have verbal diarrhea. No, we usually sit somewhere where no-one will sit next to us, like sitting one seat away from some other people, with an empty seat on the other side of us too. No one sits by themselves next to us that way. Smart, isn't it?

But this time, I don't even bother to look around for better seats. I guess you can say that I'm trusting her with a great privilege. I'm determined to enjoy tonight though, even after seeing Brady. I want to watch the movie, drink too much Coke, and throw popcorn down Rachel's top. _That's _a fun night.

"Right, now the fun really starts. We're going to, wait for it... turn off our mobiles before the annoying attendants yell at us," Rachel says with sarcastic amusement, reaching into her bag for her phone.

I smile at her, then manage to a little more.

"Like last time?"

"Eh, excuse me, _you _were the one who told him to stop bothering us and annoy someone else," she stares at me pointedly, a smirk on her lips. "The poor guy didn't know what to- oh, fuck," her eyes suddenly grow wide with shock then narrow into slits at the bottom of the steps.

"What?" a feeling of dread comes over me. I can tell _exactly_ who's just walked in, but I just don't want to believe it. My eyes frown at Rachel in more fear than confusion, then somehow move themselves over to where she's glaring.

It's Brady, of course. But he's just standing there, staring at me. Gazing like I'm the thing he desires the most, which is completely impossible.

I push away the longing that I feel as our eyes stare into each others. Even from this distance away, I can easily make out the same feeling of longing contained in his eyes, perhaps even more. Sam is standing behind him, hand on his shoulder and urgently moving his lips as if begging for him to leave. This must be a set-up.

I wrench my eyes away from Brady's. You have no idea how _hard_ that is to do. Turning my back on him felt like turning my back on my feelings for him. Why does this have to happen to me? Of all the evil people in the world, why does this have to happen to someone like _me?_ Me who's _never_ done anything to hurt anybody in their life.

He's in to see the same movie. This is just fantastic. Just. Fantastic.

I gulp, trying to not look back at Brady. I stare at the blue fabric cinema seats in front of us, focusing on the stray threads and the slightly tatty color instead of the guy I had used to swoon over.

"Just ignore him," Rachel says, sounding optimistic. Doesn't she realize that I'm already doing that?

I take a few deep breaths, trying to convince myself that this isn't a big deal. I can cope with this. I can. Hopefully. Oh please _God_ let me be able to handle this efficiently.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that Brady's rushing up the steps. For a fearful second I think he's running towards me, but he passes by our aisle. Sam looks flustered and worried, running a hand through his dark hair. His eyes roll, then he too runs up the stairs, shooting me a look. As for me, I try not to see where they sit. Rachel looks angry. Non-stop glaring on her part.

It's fair to say that I can't concentrate on the movie.

I feel claustrophobic. Just _knowing _that he's in the room with me is forcing my heart to go into a fit. The actors and actresses on the screen just talk babble- I don't pay attention to the sounds coming from their lips. There is _no_ popcorn in Rachel's top right now, which is strange. She doesn't say anything though, just watches the movie while throwing her Skittles into her mouth.

I'm also restless like a hyperactive five-year old. My fingers constantly tap the armrests as if they want to run away from me. My butt keeps shifting in my seat, making my body move with it.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. I've never been this uncomfortable _in my life_.

This film is one of the new ones which has a break included in it. When it finally comes along, I know what I want to do. Even though there's a risk Brady might follow me, I need out. I just feel so trapped in here, with the too-warm air so filled with thick tension. I need to get out of here right now.

As soon as the lights go on, I say to Rachel;

"Bathroom?"

Before even waiting for her reply, which probably would've been 'you need to pee _already?_', I've jumped up and, very conscious of the way I'm walking, run down the slope to the double doors. I try not to look behind me to see if Brady's following.

On the other side of the double doors, I feel I can breathe again. For a second I just stand here, eyes closed, taking a breath. Down the hall to my left, that's leading off the the right which I can't see from here, I can hear the sounds of laughter and tills ringing from purchases. Then I realize that I need to get moving, just in case.

I hurry down the hallway, aiming for the bathroom.

After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss away from that claustrophobic room, I hear dreaded thumps coming from behind me. I don't want to look around, I really don't, but somehow I have to.

It's Brady, chasing after me with a sad and hopeful expression on his face.

I can feel the fearful expression on my face spread to my eyes. I hurriedly turn around, now scared. As I reach the end of the hallway, partly in the center of the room, I see so many people laughing in that room that in that moment, I'm sick of running.

"Look, what do you want?" I turn round and ask him helplessly. I'm tired of running from him, and I need to know his answer to get to sleep tonight. It'll pester me to no end if I have no idea what he wants from me.

His breath seems to catch at my hurt and helpless face. Words stick in his throat, and his Adam's apple bobs up and down a bit. Sam comes to a halt behind Brady. His eyes aren't on me though. Instead they're focused on Brady's face, as if wanting him to explain himself and take control of the situation.

"I just-" Brady manages to croak out, but stops. He averts his eyes from me, and in that second I feel like I can breathe again, but then they focus on me with the exact same expression on his face that was on mine. Where on Earth is Rachel?

"Look, Kayla, I swear to you that Brady doesn't want to hurt you. He's changed in ways that you'll possibly never believe. You can trust me one-hundred percent on that," Sam says to me urgently when it becomes apparent that Brady isn't able to speak. I look at him, my big brown eyes helpless, and realize something- Sam's voice sounds as if he's a dad. Like the dad I never had, and will never have. Like someone who cares.

And in that moment, I _do_ trust him. For reasons I can't explain. It didn't really make sense in the first place why Sam would be in cahoots with Brady. He's just... too nice. As is Emily. Even having just met them a few days ago, I can just tell that they'll make wonderful parents one day- showering their child with the love that it deserves.

As I look Sam in the eyes, though, I can see nothing but complete truth and earnest warmth; but I'm confused by that truth. My heart throbs again in something like fear at the real reason why Brady has been trying to see me so badly. Not in fear of Brady, but in fact of what he's going to say. It's like waiting for something for so long that you've forgotten everything else, then when it finally comes along, you feel scared out of your mind.

With no warning, I suddenly think of how shit my life is at this exact moment. The lowest of the low.

I look at Brady again, confused and slightly scared. I wasn't expecting this to happen when I woke up this morning. This being a _bizarre_ and scary situation that's making me want to crawl under my duvet and stay there.

"You and Brady need to talk. But not here," he continued, glancing at the few employees at the popcorn stands that are watching us. They hastily avert their eyes at his gaze and hurry on with their work.

Brady won't stop looking at me. I'm not looking at him, instead my eyes are concentrated on the ground and I have my arms crossed across my chest. Nobody speaks for a second. I can tell that Sam is staring at us both.

I can't take it anymore, I have to look at him. I lift my eyes in confusion and helplessness again. The same electric shock runs through me as before, and I hate myself for it. His puppy eyes seem to provoke my body to tingle and for warmth to rush through me. He's staring at me with longing and a hint of... determination? There's something else in his eyes that I don't even want to recognize, but feel I have to: a fierce longing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Rachel exiting the screen with a confused and angry expression on her face, slamming the double doors behind her and running down the slopping corridor to me.

"That attendant guy stopped me from getting out, so I told him you were terminally ill just to get here. Now, what the hell is going on here?" she says to me in a rushed and angry tone, then glaring at both Brady and Sam with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing, we were just leaving. Brady," Sam said, barely glancing at her. His last word is filled with command and directed firmly at Brady. He places a hand on his shoulder.

Brady doesn't move, he just stares at me with an expression I can't read.

I desperately want to look away, but I can't. I no longer feel angry, just sadness and hurt for all that has passed between us. None of this would have happened in the first place if it weren't for Chloe- I'm certain. His eyes are like pools of sadness, sweeping my down underneath the waves. His mouth opens and closes a few times- I don't know if he's trying to take in breaths or say something- and I have no idea how to escape his eyes. When I finally feel tears come into my eyes, I manage to tear my eyes away to the bottom of the wall behind Rachel. I can feel everyone looking at me. All in different ways: Rachel concerned, Sam in concentration, and Brady in... well, I still have no idea.

Oh, what I'd give for a hug from Jordan right now. Just to be away from this situation for a second, and be in our new house with a huge mug of hot chocolate and watching a crappy movie. Why does my life have to be this _shit?_

Distantly, I feel Rachel's hand on my arm, squeezing me comfortingly. Sam put his hands on Brady's shoulders and leads him out of the cinema. Brady's gaze doesn't waver as he gets led away, looking angry that Sam is taking him away.

There's a silence when Rachel and I are the only two left.

"Come on, we're missing the movie," Rachel squeezes my arm sympathetically and leads me, helpless and confused, back to the cinema screen.

{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

The next day, I'm sitting on the couch of the Orphanage's living room. I have that famous worried look on me: one hand's fingers on my mouth, knees drawn up to my chest, my back against the corner of the couch and worried eyes focusing on nothing in particular in the room.

I'm waiting for Jordan to come round again. He's staying at a hotel for a few days until he gets all the paperwork for our new house done and makes sure the house is okay when the previous owners have properly left. I whined at him for that, but he'd said that staying at the Orphanage with me would be too weird for him. Can't really blame him, I guess. All the kids around would freak me out if I weren't staying here already.

I can hear the children giggling and some screeching from here, but I'm too worried about my own issues for once to move and help out with them. I keep thinking Brady will pop up at any minute. What did Sam mean last night? Is he going to suddenly pop up one day, with Brady, and have a conversation with me? Oh god, I'm hoping that isn't what he's going to do. I might be in my pajamas. What is there even to talk about anyway, why do we even need to talk? They're hiding something, I know it. I can't find a reason for Brady and I to talk about _anything, _so what on Earth is going on?

Rachel and I didn't talk about what had happened with Brady when we got back to the cinema screen. She seemed to pick up on my feelings of detachment. I wasn't able to concentrate on the movie again. I'd been too busy playing back everything that was said just a few minutes before in my head. I had wanted Brady not to ruin my evening, but however hard I tried, that's what he ended up doing anyway.

So now, I'm stuck on this sofa with my troubling thoughts. I'm trying to break through the wall of worry in my head and plan out the words I'm going to use to explain what happened last night to Jordan. Hopefully he won't get mad and run off to have a 'little word' with Sam or Brady. When I last talked about Sam to Jordan, I had conveyed him as a hero. Now I'd reluctantly be talking about him with confusion tainting my voice instead of gratefulness. I get worried when I talk to Jordan about things that have upset me. Whether it be talking about the things our father had done to me, or simply a friend who said something wrong, Jordan will always want to go round and tell them off.

On some level, I'm grateful for that. Having someone who cares that much to do that, and perhaps even make a fool of themselves for me. But today, instead of feeling that usual rush of warmth when Jordan wants to protect me, I just feel worry that he'll make the situation worse. I guess the only thing I can do about that is hope and plead to God that Jordan will understand. Understand what, I still don't know myself. In fact, I don't understand anything of what's been going on lately.

When someone knocks uncertainly at the door, I look over to see the person, or rather people, who've just stepped into the room with my expression not changing.

It's Jessie, one of the part-time supervisors of the Orphanage. Her anxious eyes crinkle slightly at the corners as she smiles at me. With her frumpy plain clothes, slightly flabby thirty-something body and messed up hair, she looks like a typical person to be working in an Orphanage. In her arms, she's holding Alex, dressed in his adorable baby blue teddy bear shirt, tiny denim jeans, and baby blue socks. I know it's him even though I can't see his face, which is directed over Jessie's shoulder.

"He's being grumpy, I think it's because he wants to see you. Do you mind? If you don't want to, I'm sure I can get him down for a nap," she asks, rearranging Alex in her arms. Not likely. When Alex is grumpy, he's _grumpy_.

"Yeah, sure, I want a cuddle," I smile, a little distractedly, but I do suddenly want a cuddle. I hold out my arms for him.

Jessie smiles somewhat gratefully, and hands him over to me carefully. He's very warm, probably due to all the grumbling he's been doing. I smile as I look down at his baby head. Somehow, he always makes me feel a little better. Maybe it's because I have to take care of him instead of worrying over other things. Responsibility _does_ change people, I guess.

Once I have him settled on my lap and Jessie has left, he shoots me a big almost-toothless smile. I grin and coo at him, kissing his forehead and breathing in his calming warm baby scent.

He snuggles himself down into my right arm, his back against the inside of my elbow. I take hold of one of his tiny feet and play with I, cooing at him again. God, he's just so _cute!_ He giggles and squeals. It's soothing to hold him actually- he's like a comfort to me with his soft baby skin and baby-smelling head.

After putting The Simpsons on TV- the only thing on that doesn't have swearing in it-, it's just Alex and I sitting here having some quality time together. I don't want him to ever grow up. He should stay a baby forever. I know that can't happen, but I can wish.

All is good until the doorbell rings. Neither Alex nor myself react until one of the supervisors yells through the sitting room to me.

"Kayla, can you get that please?"

"Yeah," I yell back, not too loud for Alex.

I sigh shakily. It's too early to be Jordan, and there's a risk that it could be Brady or Sam. But I don't have a choice. No one in the Orphanage will understand, and if it isn't Brady or Sam I'll look like a complete idiot. I have no other option than to take Alex with me to answer the door- he might crawl and fall off the couch, and I can't risk that.

So, clasping Alex and hugging him close in my wariness, I answer the door.

Being nervous about something doesn't prepare you for it. Not in any way. And that's how I feel when I pull open the door and see who's standing there with a serious expression on his face- disappointed that I'm not prepared for talking to him. I have no idea why I'm even nervous, but I can feel it in my heart that there's something to be nervous about.

It's not Brady, thankfully. But it's Sam.

I have so many questions to ask him: what is he doing with Brady? What did he mean last night, about me maybe never understanding how much Brady has changed?

But I can't ask them when I've _just _opened the door. That would freak _anybody_ out.

Sam's expression resembles one of a person trying to solve a difficult math problem. Frowning, mouth serious, arms over chest, and body held high.

I gulp, hugging Alex tighter to me. He's completely oblivious of my uneasiness, gurgling and waving his arms happily like babies do. I keep my eyes on Sam's, wary of what he's going to say. All I seem to do these days is worry. I'm surprised that I haven't got an anxiety disorder yet. My heart is, obviously, beating a lot faster than usual. But it isn't in the same way that it was when I look at Brady. No, this is just plain nervousness and worry. A more familiar feeling to me.

"Kayla, I know you must have a lot of questions, but right now isn't the time. You and Brady need to talk. Normally I wouldn't butt into other peoples' business, but you two are evidently not the best at taking control of a situation."

I don't bother to correct him. Normally I'm quite good at taking control of a situation. But Brady does something to me that I don't understand...

"So I'd like it if you came round to my house tonight at six. Brady will be there. And I know you're nervous about talking to him, but you need to know that Brady doesn't want to hurt you in _any way_. And I also know that you're wondering what on Earth you need to actually talk to him about, but trust me, he has a lot of explaining to do," Sam continues authoritatively.

I don't know what to say. I stand here, holding a baby, with my mouth open like a goldfish and trying to find words to say. He basically told me last night that Brady and I need to talk, but as I said before, I'm not prepared in the slightest.

A sympathetic look passes over Sam's face, and he steps closer to me on the doorstep.

"Kayla, I know you're not understanding anything right now, but I need you to trust me on this. And I know that you don't know me, but I think in your heart you know that this is what you have to do."

He's right. Somehow, he's right.

There's a hidden part of me that is somehow urging me to go tonight, as if the things Brady needs to say are extremely important. I can't ignore it. And I want to understand what's going on, and why Brady is acting this strangely around me. Shouldn't he have just laughed everything off? I'm just a silly girl with a crush. And he probably knows by now that Chloe was my friend, but why should he care and react this way?

"Please come," Sam says urgently. "I'll stay with you all the time you're round there if it makes you feel more comfortable."

He smiles down at Alex, who's turned his head round to smile at him. I'm still too stunned to speak. Too stunned to make sense of how Sam knows exactly how I'm feeling.

Sam's hand reaches out and taps Alex lightly on his nose. The baby giggles. Sam looks back up at me, beginning to step away from the door.

"Please come," he repeats before giving me a sympathetic yet serious smile and walking away into the woods.


	14. How I Wish

**I love writing this story. I'll admit it, I do. I think it's because of all you guys who are reading and reviewing it! And the other person who had a hand with making this story is **_**-DuckEgg-**_**, who still hasn't emailed me back lol! But she did press me to start writing this story in the first place, and the character of Rachel is based on her. =-)**

**And I finally reveal Kayla's last name, which I seemed to have forgotten to mention before. =-S**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter and thank you for all the reviews! Please continue to! And I will ease up on the Author notes =-) Xx**

As Alex peacefully naps on the gold thread embroided blue cushion of the sofa, I'm panicking. There's actually no words to describe how I'm feeling right now so don't expect great things. I want to be like Alex- blissfully unaware of what's happening around me and the only worry in the world is where my pacifier is. Now I completely understand what elders mean when they sigh and say 'oh, to be young again'.

Along with panicking about the six o'clock 'meeting', I'm thinking about how monumentally shit my life is. It's almost laughable. First my mother abandons the family, my dad becomes an abusive alcoholic wreck, my brother leaves, my dad gets sent to prison, and my previously good school life which I could escape to shatters. And I'm only sixteen. I shouldn't have to deal with all this.

But I can't dwell on it- that wouldn't be healthy, and I won't let it wreck my life. I want to be happy, even though my childhood wasn't. I'll just have to grit my teeth, get on with it, and try and make the most of my life.

But first I have to get through this first. Hopefully by the end of it I won't be catastrophically devastated.

I swear to God I'm wearing in the thick navy carpet, but I can't bring myself to care. My thoughts range from what to wear- I'm currently in my gray bottoms and matching hoody with a white vest-, what to say when I see Brady, and worry about what they're going to tell me. In my opinion, there isn't anything to talk about. Why do they want to meet with me?

Somehow, deep down, I knew Sam was right when he said that I knew this was the right thing to do. I'm finding it freaky that he knew exactly how I was feeling. And somehow, I know I can trust him. Yes, I've only know him a few days, but there's just something about him that I know I can trust.

Maybe Jordan can make some sense of all this. He should be here in about an hour and a half before I go to meet Brady. I'm not expecting him to come up with a miracle and tell me every single thing that's going to happen when I meet them, but somebody else's opinion would be nice. I can't exactly ask Alex. Well, I could, but he would just gurgle and giggle.

See, now I'm rambling. This is what I do when I'm nervous and afraid of a heart attack because of it.

I could phone Rachel?

I sit down gently on the sofa, careful not to wake Alex, and put my head in my hands. In that moment, I feel drained with everything. There's so much to worry about, and I have no way of releasing it.

Look on the bright side- I tell myself, taking a deep shaky breath and sitting up. I'm not dying, I have a brother who loves me, friends who stand by me, and a further best friend in Alex. Things could be much worse. But right now I, Kayla George, am a mess.

Making the decision to call Rachel, I reach into my pocket and take out my phone. I've turned it off the past few days, as texts and calls from Chloe have been practically raping my phone, but this time I need to use it.

I call her and tell her everything, and to be quite honest, she's not that much help. She keeps saying that I shouldn't go and just leave him alone, but for some reason I know that's not what I'll do. There's something in me _ordering_ me to go. Like a command that you can't disobey. What's stranger than that is how I feel when I picture Brady's face in my mind. I get the exact same tingly feeling like I had used to before Chloe became a bit of a whore. And, needless to say, I hate myself for it.

Hanging up the phone and leaning back in my seat, I sigh. Alex is still sleeping blissfully- I had to talk quietly on the phone for him- and his pacifier moves up and down in a steady rhythm in his sleep. His little hands move as if he's having the most wonderful dream in the world. If only dreams could still be a comfort when we wake up from them. Then I wouldn't be feeling as panicky as I am right now.

I don't know what I do for the next hour- the time just seems to pass by itself. I read a few of the old magazines which are in the rack- they're mostly for the kids and adults who are using the living room as a waiting room while paperwork is sorted out. This was the room that Jordan came to visit me in a few days after I got moved to the Orphanage. Even now, I can distinctly remember the static, worried atmosphere in as I had sat on this very couch two years ago. That was when I had no idea what my future was and I was more scared than I'd ever been in my life.

Today is about as half as bad as that.

But when Jordan comes round, everything starts to look up a little.

As soon as the doorbell rings, I'm standing up abruptly and rushing towards the door. He's halfway through a hello when I throw my arms around his neck and cuddle him.

He sighs, as if he's been expecting this somehow. I can't blame him, to be honest. And I'm too panicked and upset to tell him off for predicting my feelings correctly.

As I lean my head against his, miraculously with no tears, he picks me up easily in his arms and carries me into the living room. Obviously noticing Alex, although I can't see for myself because I'm facing the other way, Jordan's steps become noticeably quieter as he shuts the door. He sets me down on the couch and sits himself down next to me. My face just feels blank and exhausted, and I lean my head on his shoulder.

There's silence for a few minutes. There's not much point telling him how I feel at this moment, he already knows, but there is a point in telling him of why I'm feeling like this.

Instead of heading straight onto the subject, Jordan starts with another one.

"Is that Alex?" his voice sounds shocked while referring to the sleeping baby lying on his back to the right of me.

"Yeah," I smirk for a second.

"God, he was just a month old the last time I saw him."

"I know, they grow up quick," I sigh, stroking down Alex's soft cheek with a finger.

Silence again. The only sounds between us until Jordan finally asks the question I've been waiting for are Alex's snuffles.

"So what's happened?"

I tell him everything. There's no point boring you with the details, but yes, I tell him everything. About the movies with Rachel last night, Brady saying those strange things, and about Sam's visit this afternoon. He doesn't say that much, occasionally the odd question, and just _listens._

When I finish, I watch him carefully with a wary expression. He may to one of two things- go to Sam's house and start yelling, or stay here and support and moan with me as best he could. I'm hoping it's the latter.

For a second, he stares at the carpet with a serious expression. In this awkward silence, I have to fight the urge to do something random- like poke his cheek.

"I'm coming with you," he finally says.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"No, Jordan, I need to find out what he wants _on my own_. It's my business and I'm not dragging you into it. Besides it'll look weird, you showing up as my bodyguard," I say defiantly.

"I'm going with you, Kayla. What if he hurts you?" Jordan replies furiously.

"Sam will be there!"

"You're leaving your safety to someone you've known for, what, _two _days?"

I don't want to tell him about the fact that Sam saved me from spending a night in the woods right now. Too much convincing to do right now.

"Look, I'll be in there for ten minutes or something. And if I even thought there was a risk of them doing something like that, do you think I'd_ go?_ I'm not an idiot! You can drop me off and pick me up, if it makes you feel better?" I say, looking up at him with puppy eyes that change into a pleading scowl.

We have a scowling match for the next ten seconds or so. I seem to win because he sighs exasperatedly and looks at the ground again.

"Fine. But I'll be waiting round the corner."

Alex wakes up right then, but somehow my mind is stuck on the last thing Jordan just said about the matter of Brady. For some reason, I feel that something else is just around the corner. And there's no telling whether it'll be good or bad.

**So what do you think of Kayla's last name? ;-) Xx**


	15. Great Explanations :Extended Chapter:

**Haven't really got much to say in this Author Note except thank you all so much for the amazing reviews! And to **_**MakingMiraclesHappen**_**, or Kayla, yes Kayla's middle name can be Marie. At first I was going to make her middle name Amy, but yours sounds better. Kayla Marie George. =-)**

**And please, if you have some spare time or can be bothered, read and review **_**Iwantmyownhappyending**_**'s story 'Limits', as the story was deleted accidentally and she's lost all her reviews! =-(**

**Here's the next chapter, sorry it look a little longer than the last one. Please review! Xx**

Jordan broods silently as I direct him in the car up to Sam's house. The silence is screaming like a child who hasn't had it's dinner. I half-want Jordan to say something productive and comforting, but I don't think he'll come up with anything. So, there's nothing I can do except tap my fingers anxiously on my knees. Later, I'll probably feel anger bubble up inside me at a completely unpredictable moment. Brady is once again taking my time with Jordan away from me. But right now, I'm as nervous as a bipolar teenager and I don't even know why.

My worry is not helped by the fact that Jordan won't speak. His elbows rest on the wheel, driving the car with his forearms. I recognize the expression on his face as concentrated anger. His impenetrable gaze stays on the road with a slight frown on his face. Not entirely the most comforting mood I need right now.

I inhale a deep, shaky breath as I turn away to look out the window into the trees. There's something about them that calms me down. Maybe it's the way that they're so free, while I feel so trapped. As they sway in the breeze, Brady's face is in my mind- gorgeous hair, big eyes and all. There's something in me that still feels the familiar tingling sensation that I used to have when I knew I was going to see him. I have no idea why I still feel this way over seeing Brady.

More than anything, I want to be able to barge in there and demand answers- why are they so determined to explain when there's nothing to talk about, why does Brady care that I live in an Orphanage, but I don't think I will. This whole situation is too close to my heart, and if it were anything else, I would go in there and give them a piece of my mind.

I think Jordan can sense that. Maybe that's why he's not talking- normally he would be telling me to calm down and not do anything rash. This is an unfamiliar situation for both of us.

When Sam's house- or rather, hut- comes into view from far away on the left side of the road, my heart beats rapidly as Jordan pauses the car. We're here. The house brings back memories like a photo does- just a few short days ago with Sam taking me to school, Emily's scarred but beautiful face smiling at me over the golden muffins we'd had for breakfast. _And Brady's inside that house, waiting for you-_ my mind whispers theatrically.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in?" Jordan grabs my hand suddenly and tears my gaze away from the house to look at him. His expression is back to the way it was before we left the Orphanage- concerned and worried.

"I'll be fine. It's just a few minutes. Hopefully. And you'll hear my scream if I need you," I pat his hand, trying my best to look brave. I can tell just by looking at his face that I've failed miserably.

He doesn't look pleased, but narrows his eyes with some worry still inside them and leans back into his seat.

"I'll wait for you round the corner."

These words suddenly seem like a death sentence. There's no more waiting- I'm going to see Brady again. A hot flash runs through me- you know the panicked kind when you're entering an exam room. The _no-time-left _feeling.

My legs feel like jelly as I jump out of the car slowly. _Brady's in that house, Brady's in that house, __Brady's in that house..._

When Jordan drives the car away, I feel like a child who's been left alone on the side of the road on their first day on school- nervous, scared, and _nauseated._ As I gulp down the excess saliva I've suddenly produced in the last few seconds, I watch Jordan speed away for a little bit then pull up on the side of the road.

I take another deep, shaky breath as I turn around. Walking on my jelly legs, I somehow manage to make it to the front door. I can feel the anxiety in my stomach and chest, waiting for when I stop moving to put the effects on me- ie, the dreaded _butterflies_.

My finger presses the tiny circle of rusty brown of a doorbell and I step back, crossing my arms nervously. Before I even get a chance to breath, the door is opened.

Thank _God _it's Sam. If it was Brady, I don't think my heart could take it without any warning- the shock might be too much.

He has a strange expression on his face, as if he's sorry for me and trying to look determined at the same time. Thankfully I can't see into the living room from this angle.

"I'm glad you came," is all he says, but those words say everything. The way he feels sorry for me, how much he wishes he doesn't have to do this, and how nervous he is about this situation.

I manage a tiny smile for him, and I feel immediately proud. With my heart hammering away in my chest, I was half-expecting it to fall out and splatter on the ground. Honestly, how am I still conscious?

Sam holds the door back firmly, gesturing for me to come inside. I gulp.

I don't want to look around the living room. I've stepped into it, but I don't want to look up. The atmosphere is thrumming with electricity and nerves, and somehow I know Brady is standing at the other side of the room next to the kitchen. I can hear him catch his breath, and I gulp down saliva again. Part of me wants to cry, and the other part is screaming at me to look up at Brady and get this over with. I need _answers_.

Sam steps past me, feeling him glance at me then Brady.

"Right. Both of you, please sit down," Sam says authoritatively.

I quickly sit down on the squashy sofa I'd slept on the night after the party. I can feel Brady sit next to me and keep his eyes on my face. I can't resist it any more for some reason. I have to look up.

The second I do I'm captivated. His eyes just hold me there, looking so sad and hopeful at the same time. I don't know how to react to that. God, he's huge, when did he get so big? Ordinarily, I'm small,, but compared to him I'm _tiny. _However tall and muscly he is, there's still something soft about him- in his body and chocolate brown eyes. Maybe it's his soft-looking skin... why am I thinking about _that_?

He's taking such deep breaths, as if I'm the most breathtaking thing in the world.

I'm so scared and alarmed by the expression on his face that I move away quickly.

Sam sits himself down opposite us both on a matching squashy armchair. He rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward, looking at me with a serious expression on his face. I gulp and look as far away from Brady as I can, which is across the room to my left.

"Now," Sam starts, like a teacher going to start a lesson. "Thank you for coming Kayla, I know it's... erm, awkward. I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

I look at him, my hands suddenly becoming interested in the cuffs of my long-sleeved white top I had opted for.

"But first I think Brady should tell you something."

{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

If the ground is waiting for a good moment to suck me up, this would be it. As I look toward Brady again, I feel like a little child scared of a big spider. And right now the big spider is opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish while staring at me. I don't meet his eyes. I keep mine focused firmly on the old oak coffee table that's separating us from Sam- it seems to be the only un-stressed object in the room.

"I'm sorry," Brady croaks. His tone of voice shocks and scares me, and I glance up at him. For one, he's not looking at me. Instead, he's staring and blinking rapidly at a spot in the air in between Sam and the window to my left. "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened. I had no idea Chloe was your friend or that you liked me. And I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you before. You have no _idea_ how sorry," he bows his head in pain, neck twisting in shame.

The shock and surprise at his expression and strength of his apology doesn't seem to hit me like you'd expect it to. I cut straight to... _something_- I don't think there's even a name for this emotion.

"Why?" I blurt out, suddenly feeling stronger.

Hearing my voice somehow makes him look at me, terrifying me with a look of longing and fierce awe.

"I... I can't tell you right now," he says, somewhat reluctantly. I barely have time to react to that before he continues, "but put it this way, I'm seeing you in a different light."

A much different light- I think shakily. Maybe the shock is affecting my brain so much that I can't feel it any more. Or maybe it's like when you get a cold- once you get over the infection, your body builds up an immunity.

"Why can't tell you tell me?" I say out loud, angry and confused.

"That can wait for another time," Sam interrupts, giving Brady a pointed and commanding look. It's as if me asking Brady to do something means he'll do it immediately. What are they so afraid of?

"No, it can't! I didn't come here just so both of you could talk to me in riddles!" I say defiantly, hands no longer playing with my cuff and instead sitting quietly at my sides. Hints of desperation and anger leak their way into my voice despite my determination to remain calm. I don't know where this sudden confidence is coming from, but I'm not going to complain.

Brady has this look on his face- like he desperately wants to tell me everything but there's something pulling him back. Is that something Sam? I heard the commandeering tone to his voice just a moment ago. Right now, however, I just feel exhausted with only one question in my mind- _what the hell is going on? _And after a moment, I decide to voice it.

"What's going on? Why are you being so secretive and deciding what I should and shouldn't know? And why do you care so much?" Once one question comes out, I can't seem to stop them.

I feel a hand on my forearm. It's warm and soft, but I barely notice that. It's the tingles I feel as it's skin connects with my own- they shock me into oblivion. For a second I can't think about anything else. Sam is speaking, but nothing registers.

The hand belongs to Brady, and somehow I know he's feeling the same things that I am, perhaps even more. It's looks like he's struggling to breathe, savoring this moment in time, as if touching me is the most wonderful thing in the world.

Dammit, I wish I would stop feeling like this! I'm angry at him. In fact, maybe I'm angry at the entire world. But Brady's hurt me, even if he didn't mean to, and he nearly slept with my best friend. I shouldn't be feeling tingly when he touches me, I should be angry and disgusted. And even though part of me _is _angry, I can hardly feel it. I can't ignore how it feels so right and how my heart aches.

So I pull my arm gently away. I don't know how, but I do. I'm majorly freaked out, confused, and angry. For a second his hands stays there, and after I take my arm away, his fingers drop onto my leg for a second. Oh God... thank the _Heavens_ I'm wearing jeans.

I think Sam can tell that I didn't hear him speak. When I'm finally able to look back up at him, he glances from me to Brady, who, from the corner of my eye, looks like someone shot his puppy. I really have no idea what to do or say, so I'm really glad that Sam starts talking again.

"Everything will be explained, I promise. Brady really wanted to apologize, and I thought this way might make you more comfortable rather than appearing on your doorstep," he explains, looking down at his hands.

I don't know what to say to that. What can _anybody_ say to that?

"I need to ask something," Brady's deep voice says. He's staring at me again, I can feel it. "Why do you live in an Orphanage?" He sounds so upset, worried and concerned. _Why_ _does he sound like that?_

My head snaps round immediately to him.

"That's nobody's business but my own," I say sharply and firmly. I _hate_ it when people ask me that. It's _my_ business, and _my l_ife. Why can't people just understand that? "And why do you even care?"

Brady looks so hurt and worried, but the awed look in his eyes still doesn't go away. God, I'm so confused.

"It's not the right time to explain. Is it something to do with your parents?" he basically ignores my angry expression. His eyes are permanently wide, focused on me like he _needs _to know about me to live. Well, I'm not buying it.

"It's none of your business," I look away, not wanting to see him anymore. This is dangerous territory- what if I start crying about all of this? That's the last thing in the world that I want to happen.

"Brady," Sam warns. I think he can tell I don't want to talk about it and that I'm getting uncomfortable.

"Are you happy there?" Brady sounds desperate to know. That is _enough_.

"Right, I'm gonna go, sorry Sam," I stand up, turning my head to give Sam an apologetic look.

"No don't, please, I'm sorry!" Brady's voice scares me- like he can't bear to lose me. What's going _on?_ Why are they saying right now isn't the right time to tell me why Brady suddenly cares so much about me? All this confusion and fear is making my brain hurt.

"Kayla, just a minute more, didn't you want to ask some questions?" I can hear Sam get up from his seat.

I turn around.

"I think I've heard everything. You won't tell me the reason why Brady suddenly is obsessed with me, so what's the point in being here? Besides my brother's waiting for me," I look down at the ground after my little speech, suddenly losing all the confidence I'd gained.

"You have a brother?" Brady interrogates. This is just _too_ _much._ Anger suddenly fills me, and with that comes confidence. But not the kind I'm happy about...

"Yes, I have a brother, would you like to know my bra size too?" I fume. Brady blushes and I can tell that Sam wants to laugh. If I weren't so mad I would think he looks cute.

Instead of trying to persuade me to stay like I expect him to, he asks me if I can get back all right. Brady shoots him a look of anger, which we both try and ignore. I'm literally shaking in my shock and desperation to get out of here.

"You two still need to talk, but to be honest I think you should to do it alone without me," Sam says, walking toward the door to let me out.

Before I can even worry over that and be terrified at the thought of being alone with Brady, Sam opens the door and tells me to take care.

Before Brady can even protest, which I know he'll do because he moves forward toward Sam with his hands shaking, I quickly walk out the door. The door shuts behind me. The raised and heated voices coming from within can be heard even when I'm halfway back to Jordan and walking on shaky legs.


	16. The Best Way to Kill Anxiety

**To the anonymous reviewer who said that I don't update fast enough, I'm trying my best. I've started college and my birthday's just passed so this chapter has taken a bit longer. And besides, some people here on Fanfiction don't update for months and I'm trying my absolute best to update as fast as I can. And my home life is terrible right now, so this chapter has taken a bit longer than usual.**

**Anyway, that aside, here's the next chapter and thank you so much for all the reviews! I can't believe we're over three hundred eeeek! It's too amazing to believe! Xx**

The next day I simply don't know what to do with myself. Thank god that yesterday and today are in-service days at school- if I had to go into school feeling like this I would feel ten times worse. Part of me wants to cry in pure anger, another wants to curl up on the couch and forget about all this. Of all the scenarios I'd played out in my head about how that conversation would go, that was _not_ how I'd expected to end things. When I'd gotten back into the car with Jordan, I didn't even have to say anything for him to give me a massive cuddle. I was too angry to really appreciate that at the time.

To be sincerely honest, I really don't know what to feel. Exhaustion, maybe? But whatever I feel, I can't seem to show it.

Over the past few hours I've forced myself to get used to the thought of finally getting over Brady. I'll have to if I want to move on with my life. I hate that I still have feelings for him. The easiest way to try and get over him is to start dating someone else, but can I do that? I know that Jordan would say that it wouldn't- as being the protective older brother he is, automatically thinks no-one will be good enough. Rachel would say that boys are idiots and I should date _her_ instead. And besides, no guy in this town will date me because of the whole abandoned-mother and jailed-father topics of interest. In their eyes I'm broken and needy- which I, in fact, are not.

I doubt the populars, like Brady, even know that my father's in prison. They never had any time for gossip about classmates like me. The police made both myself and Jordan sign a privacy agreement so that the police can't tell anyone why my father is in prison. So that's one thing I don't have to worry about. Mind you, maybe Chloe told him while she had her hand down his pants. I wouldn't put it past her.

So right now I'm sitting on my bed with Alex in my lap. As he plays with his little plastic tractor, I keep my arms around him in a hug while I stare at the plain wall opposite us. Why am I staring at the wall? I don't even know myself.

The doorbell rings. I sit, frozen, waiting to hear someone's heels on the hardwood floor heading towards the door. But there's nothing.

I sigh, standing up and taking Alex with me. He settles himself into my neck.

"Come on, honey," I say as we walk down the stairs. Please be the postman, please be the postman...

My hand closes around the lock and I twist.

If answered prayers are shared across the World, then I'm clearly not getting my fair share. For at the the door, dressed in a simple white shirt and blue jeans, is Brady.

I'm not as shocked as I had been when Sam suddenly appeared on my doorstep, but I can't help feeling my heart suddenly beat faster in my chest with something as well as shock. I stare at him and he stares back, breathing suddenly laboring. His hands move as if he's going to start talking, but no words come out of his mouth. I don't know what to say. Had I been expecting this?

His eyes go down to Alex, whose hands are also moving as if Brady has pressed an activation button. I shimmy him closer to me, watching Brady warily.

Brady's eyes lock with mine again while he simultaneously gulps. There are slight shadows under his eyes. For the first time, I can't help but notice that he has golden flecks in his irises. It makes his eyes look deep and ignited, like a magical firework display at a beach.

Stop noticing the color of his eyes, you idiot, you hate him and he hates you- my mind scowls. But I can't take my eyes away from him.

"I came... to talk to you."

Now it's my turn to gulp. I don't know where to put my eyes. His abs? His feet? His crotch? No, don't think about his crotch! And in my confusion, wariness and awkwardness, I somehow mumble 'come in' while barely looking at him.

As soon as he steps past me and into the Orphanage, his eyes immediately begin observing the inside of the Orphanage. I shut the door, looking over my shoulder warily as he mysteriously inspects. What is he doing and why is he doing it?

While I watch, his eyes become broody, interested and concentrated- almost as if he's evaluating every single centimeter of the surroundings.

"Through here," I say, pointing at the already opened door of the empty waiting room. I don't want to take him to my room. There's still such a large chance that he might tell all his friends about what it's like here. I don't want to take any more risks than I already have with him.

Brady walks into the room while continuing his close inspection. I close the door with one slightly shaking hand. I give Alex one more hug- more to comfort myself than him- and walk over to the small crib to lay him down in. As I make my way over to the crib though, I start feeling all tingly and electric being in a closer proximity to Brady as the crib is right next to him. Somebody kill me. Please. Right now.

I can tell Brady is watching me. I raise myself back up and try to look determined as I cross my arms while facing him- I'm pretty sure it's not working.

"I want to say I'm sorry about yesterday. It didn't go... exactly well. I know I was making you uncomfortable with all the questions, and I'm sorry for being too probing, but I really want to know you," he says in a huge rush after a second of silent awkwardness.

I don't say anything, just try to, unsuccessfully, keep my eyes unwaveringly on him.

"So I wanted to invite you to something, so you don't have to feel uneasy around me at school or anything."

I'm instantly on edge. Most predictably, like an idiot I'll show up and he and his friends play a massive 'she's so thick' prank on me. I've been down that road a few times- I'm not falling for it. _Especially_ not from _Brady._

I can feel my eyebrows go into a wary and suspicious frown. He hurriedly carries on,

"You can take a friend, if you want. I mean, if it makes you more comfortable." Oh God, save me from the adorably worried look on his face.

Shut up, hormonal thoughts. Rachel will have to come with me. She's the only friend I can trust not to go shooting her mouth off if something goes wrong.

"Why are you doing this: apparently wanting to know me? Is it to play mind games with me so you can tell all your friends?" I blurt out all at once. Way to be cool Kayla...

The look on his face is aghast and serious. Brady's eyes widen even more and he takes a step closer. I immediately take a step back.

He stops while staring into my eyes.

"I promise I'll tell you soon Kayla, at this bonfire. I hate you being so upset," he takes a deep breath while I do too, shocked and suspicious. "It's this Friday on the reservation in the woods at seven. You'll see it quite clearly. Everyone there aren't the people I hung around with at school Kayla, so no-one's going to make fun of you or play pranks. And Sam and Emily will be there, I hope that makes you happier," he continues. He, himself, doesn't seem to like the fact that I would feel more comfortable around Emily and Sam- I can see it in his eyes.

For the next few seconds, we just stare at each other. Me, wondering how on Earth I got myself into this situation, and him watching me as if he'd been wanting to for a long time.

"I'm sorry about everything." Brady takes a step forward and I somehow don't step back this time. "I really wish this could have happened a different way," he says slowly and quietly. His words are separated slightly by his breathing. Is it being close to me? My heart beats faster. It'll fall out of my chest soon, I know it.

Frowning slightly, finally taking in his words as I can feel his breath on me- oh God, even _that _feels nice. Stop torturing me!

"What do you mean?" I can tell my breath hits him too, and for a second he closes his eyes. He's so close to me right now.

A small and short smile appears on his lips.

"I'll tell you soon."

As if reluctantly, he turns away from me. I can't help watching his back with confusion and something else on my face. I don't know how I feel right now. Even if you paid me a million dollars, I could never figure it out in my current stunned state.

At the door, Brady turns round, almost as if he needs to see my face just one more time. Which is just too weird and absurd to think.

"Please come to the bonfire on Friday. And I- I promise I'll never hurt you," he says the last sentences fiercely, as if the idea is a horrid one.

When he's left, I blink and frown at the ground. Alex is sleeping in the crib.

At least someone in the room's mind is at peace.

{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}

Two days later, and it's time to go back to the jungle. By the jungle I mean the place I've been dreading to go for the past long weekend- school. Somehow I feel a little better about going back than I though I would. Have I suddenly become so depressed that my feelings have turned foggy? I can't tell, but I don't think I'm _depressed._

Either way I'm glad by my sudden confidence.

I throw my keys in my messenger bag that's sitting on my bed and hoist the strap onto my shoulder. One of the baby girls, Kimmy, is sitting on the bed looking up at me with a pink dummy in her mouth. How could my mother leave me when _I _was one of these?

I gaze down at her for a comforting moment, smiling, and pick her up. She'd been having a little party of her own playing with her dinky plastic cups, but now I have to put her back in her crib downstairs before going to the dreaded school.

I take deep breaths as we walk down the stairs, dressed completely in my school gear. Kimmy cuddles into my short purple jacket. I would so much rather stay here with the babies than go to school, but I'm not going to give up my education because I'm afraid of confrontation. No way.

Once Kimmy is securely in her cot in the play room, I look around for Alex. I find him sitting alone in his vibrating rocking chair, grin as wide as a Cheshire cat. I give him a big sloppy kill and a cuddle for good luck- for me, of course- and brace myself as I walk toward the door. Suddenly my stomach feels constricted as I feel like I'm about to be sick. I yank my hood up with a suddenly shaky hand and start my very rainy walk to school.

When I get there, I'm wet with rain despite my sensible choice of coat and suddenly very aware of my tongue. A big lump has situated itself in my throat like a stubborn lodger who won't pay rent. I seem to no longer be scared of school and the teenagers inside it who want to poke fun at me. Instead, I'm more nervous. Like a first day at school.

On another level, I'm also surprisingly not too bothered by the stares I'm provoking as I make my way to the front door. I keep my eyes down under my hood, this time not in shame and embarrassment, and walk on. My stomach still churns like it's making butter all the way inside, though. I suppose I can't expect all the worry and fear go away.

Without looking at the lady on reception, I squelch my way along the blue carpeted floor to the actual school entrance. Hopefully no-one will be waiting on the other side of the wall to ambush me...

I guess you're wondering how I'm magically acting so aloof. I'm wondering how too, but I'm strangely proud of myself for keeping it up so far. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I can somehow keep it up all day. Not particularly likely, but a girl can dream right?

Once I'm through the doors and hear them click back into place behind me, I take in a shaky breath. That's until I notice a comforting and familiar face scowling at a locker that obviously won't open. My stomach, for a second, suddenly feels as if a massive belt has been loosened. A small wave of happiness, surprising considering the circumstances, runs through my bloodstream as she rushes to hug me.

Rachel's blonde hair is fluffy and tired-looking due to the pouring rain outside, contrasting massively with the cheesy grin on her face.

"You came!" she clasps me as if I were dying. Dressed in beige cut-offs and a black shirt decorated with multi-color skulls, it's strange that right now I'm seeing her as a ray of hope. I've definitely gone mad.

She pulls back, smiling from ear to ear.

"I sort of expected you to take the day off again today."

I make a face.

"No, because that would mean I'm letting Brady and Chloe win. And you know I like to win. By the way," I dart glances down the corridor to make sure no-one's in earshot and take anxious deep breaths, "I need you to do something for me."

"You know I'll do anything for you babe," Rachel purrs. I whack her arm and can't help smiling a little in my anxious state. Rachel never changes. She's not a lesbian, but she loves to tease. It's weird.

And sometimes a little scary. But that's Rachel...

"Brady came round yesterday, and he says he wants me to come to this bonfire thing," we start walking down the corridor as I explain.

Rachel's eyes widen and narrow.

"Are you going to go? He might be, you know, pranking you-" I cut her off.

"That's the thing, he also said I could take a friend with me. And then I thought, 'why would he ask me to take a friend if he was going to prank me, it would be better if I was alone'," I ramble nervously.

"And you're asking me to come with you," Rachel clarifies, giving me a look.

"Yes, that a problem? You can roast marshmallows?" I blink pleadingly. I'm suddenly terrified that she'll say no. If she says no then I'll... wait, do I _want _to go to this thing? No, that's stupid, I _don't_ want to go to this thing.

"Yeah, I'll come, but I won't talk to Brady. I heard a whole bunch of them in the reservation go down there and have a bonfire every now and then, it's strange," she gazes off into the distance.

I wish I could let _my_ mind wander, but I simply can't. My thoughts are filled with too much anxiousness to really let myself relax. It's such a pity- I had gotten off to a great start, too.

The first few classes go by without much drama, thank Heavens. I was sort of expecting that they would be. First I had Chemistry, then Maths. I attracted a few stares, not good ones, which of course made blush furiously, but other than that nobody really spoke to me. And neither Brady nor Chloe were in those classes.

Now, however, after a slightly confidence boosting breaktime with Rachel, we're making our way to English. Brady's in that class. Brady and his tall body and perfect face... and his friends. Oh god, his friends. I completely forgot about his friends!

My heart literally stops for a second in the corridor with students walking and laughing around me. Everything suddenly goes blurry for a second, and I can only think for myself- which is something I don't do often. _Don't think about it, don't think about it. If you start thinking and worrying about it then you won't stop..._

So instead of worrying myself to death, I take the plunge and walk into the English classroom ahead of a suddenly confused looking Rachel.

I walk into my seat- yes, _walk_ into my seat, I nearly trip over it- and don't look around me until Rachel is sitting next to me. The class is barely filled, and Brady isn't in yet. I let out a long breath of relief and wrap my coat around my chair.

"Have you noticed that Brady isn't hanging round the populars much?" Rachel takes out her pen and looks and me pointedly.

I blink, wide-eyed. I suppose I had noticed actually- on the night of the party none of the populars restrained Brady, it was Embry. Same goes for the first time I came back to school and went home before English- Embry had been speaking with him then too against the lockers. He's not been the same since he took those two weeks off school a while ago. I know I shouldn't be bothered anymore, but I can't help wondering what's wrong with him. He's acting this way around me, and I want him to stop, but he's acting differently around his _friends_ too. Do I still believe this is a prank? It's so hard to tell.

"I saw the populars in town yesterday and Brady wasn't with them, I thought it was strange," she shrugs, patting my hand.

I don't reply and face the front. I'm watching the teacher fluster around so much that I don't notice Brady come through the door. My heart starts beating wildly and I'm not even _looking _at him. Embry is behind him- I forgot he's in this class. It seems as if Brady walked in like I did, taking the plunge, but he looks so much more happy about it. My eyes flick onto his.

Oh God, this is going to be harder than I thought it would be. The second he sees me it feels like he's ripping inside me and seeing my soul. I'm not sure I like it. I've grown up around people who don't know me and it's still difficult to trust people- I'm not ready for my soul to be bared by just a _look_. And it bloody terrifies me. So I look away toward Rachel.

I know I look awkward as I try and seem as small as possible. Out of the corner of my eye I see Embry practically drag Brady to sit next to him at the side of the room. Still close to me. That's even stranger, what the hell is going on with Brady and his friends? He's not sitting next to them anymore? It just doesn't make _sense _anymore!


	17. Only Once

**To the rather rude reviewer who says this story is getting too long, I want to see what everyone else thinks. If everyone, or the majority, think that this should be shortened then I'll merge chapters together. And anyway, all these chapters are quite small from what others are on Fanfiction. **

**Anyway thank you all so much for the reviews guys, they really mean the world to me! I'm so sorry this took longer but I've been so busy lately and got writers block, along with a very stressful past few weeks. Enjoy and please review! =-) Xx**

Everything about Brady had screamed to me those next few days.

Even when he wasn't in the room, I felt electricity pulsing through me as if he were. When with Rachel or walking around the school, I'd always be thinking about where Brady was. Hyper-aware of everything in sight. But I made sure that he could never get me alone. Why? So I wouldn't have to face any awkward talk about Friday night. Which I was sure there would be as soon as he opened his mouth.

Chloe wasn't in school all week, and I discovered from a passing whisper between two girls in front of me in Math that she and her family had gone to visit her sister in New York. Honestly, it couldn't have come at a better time.

Keeping Brady away from me wasn't as easy as I'd hoped. Somehow he miraculously always seemed to know where I was. Whenever he appeared in the corridors though, I turned around and walked the other way, dragging Rachel too if she was walking with me. She found the whole thing annoying and un-called for, but when I explained to her that it would just be until Friday, she found a way to cope with my arm unexpectedly dragging her everywhere.

And now it's Friday night, two hours before the seven o' clock dreaded meeting, and my heart is pounding furiously hard in my chest as I stare at myself in the mirror. Just looking into my own eyes. I can't not show up, it'll feel as if he's won, so I have to do this. I'm stuck in this situation. But Rachel will be there, she'll... be a distraction, anyway. Hopefully. Maybe someone will choke on something and this thing will finish early? Oh my god, did I just think that?

Pull yourself together Kayla, this isn't the end of the world, I tell myself as I sigh while leaving the bathroom. Rachel would laugh if she could see me now. She was coming round in an hour so we could get some food together then go to the reservation. I hadn't wanted to appear alone, that would just turn the night into a dismal one. Not that it won't be dismal anyway, but still.

Rachel and I are now sitting in the Chinese restaurant up the road. She's digging into the pile of chips that we've bought together, watching the flat screen television behind my head on the wall, but I can't eat a bite. I may just throw up. In fact, I feel like I could do that even without the help of food in my stomach.

Rachel throws a chip at me, glaring slightly as if I just killed her puppy. I scowl back at her.

"Everything will be fine, I don't know why you're worrying. It's just a bonfire," she says simply, glancing back up at the television again. Her eyes widen. "Why, are you scared they'll throw you in the bonfire?"

"No, why would I be scared about that? They'll all get arrested," I make a face, then freeze. "Oh my God, are they in some sort of _cult_? Do they want people to join them so they invite you to a bonfire? Oh my God, they throw the people that refuse in a_ bonfire!_" My hands throw themselves to my cheek.

It feels ridiculous to panic this much., but somehow there's something helpful about it. Thinking about the things that could never happen over the things that could happen somehow comforts me.

Rachel doesn't comfort me, she instead just rolls her eyes like I'm crazy and laughs. Helpful. What if I were actually panicking about my oncoming bonfire death tonight?

It isn't hard to spot the bonfire through the trees.

It's in plain sight to the road which leads to the reservation, on the left side of the road with the flames just about visible flickering through the gaps in the trees. Is this some sort of reservation party? Because no-one seems to be out here or be intrigued by the flames.

Rachel's practically bouncing along the twigs and leaves as we walk toward the far-away fire, but I feel sick. It's like I can _sense _Brady. My skin feels tingly and my heart is pounding like it wants to break free of my chest. He's near, I can feel it in my bones.

The only thing Rachel seems to be feeling in her bones, however, is the deep urge to roast marshmallows. She loves the white and pink gloopy stuff. One time, when the Orphanage had a barbecue for my birthday, she'd roasted one until it turned black and fell to the bottom of the barbecue like an abandoned sausage. Hopefully that won't happen again tonight.

Oh God, I am going to faint.

I can see them now. Although I have no idea who I'm seeing. We're in a sort of clearing, but you can see a pathway ahead that veers to the left and the cliff side and sea are visible. That gives me some comfort- my special place, where I usually sit with my thoughts, looks like here.

I can't think about that though, because I'm too aware of the people around me. There are about ten people scattered among the space. A few boys I've seen around school before and some not clustered around the bright bonfire that's sitting in the center. They haven't spotted us yet. I want to collapse- too many anxious thoughts are building themselves like bricks in my mind, heavier and heavier. I thought Sam and Emily are meant to be here? Did Brady lie just so he could get me here?Are we in the right place?

Just as I begin to raise my arm to grab Rachel's elbow, she's stopped walking right next to me, and turn back with a lump in my throat, I spot Sam walking out from the trees. He's wearing no shirt. Thankfully he's the only guy here who's not wearing a shirt. His face looks concentrated on the ground as he walks forward, but when he looks up, his eyes meet mine.

They widen with obvious surprise for a second, then pleasure.

"Kayla, you came!"

He walks towards me on what I now notice to be bare feet. That would be strange and a little creepy if the ground weren't so sandy and flat.

I think I've stopped breathing as I'm starting to feel light headed. I manage to remember to take a deep breath as Sam approaches me. His eyes flicker to Rachel warmly.

"Oh good, you brought a friend. Emily's on her way, she's bringing the food. And Brady is with her, they'll be back any minute," he says, but when he says Brady's name his eyes turn back to me. I can tell that he's trying to make me more comfortable, but to be honest I'm wondering why on Earth God hates me so much.

"I think you might know some people here already from school, erm... Kim?" Sam looks over his shoulder at a girl with black hair whose just straightened up from placing her jacket on a log. It takes me a second, but I soon recognize her as the silent girl who sits behind me in Math. I've never spoken to her, but whenever our eyes meet when taking our seats at the start of class we always smile kindly.

Someone like her can't be in a cult, can they? Oh my God, Kayla, stop thinking of this as a cult!- I scold myself as Kim timidly walks towards us.

Sam squeezes her arm comfortingly, smiling, and turns back to us.

"I think you two share a class together?"

I nod, slightly stunned that he knows that, but then again Kim might have told him.

Kim blushes, she must do that a lot, and smiles at me. I try my best to smile back, but she doesn't seem that surprised or hurt to see that I can only manage a small one.

"Right, well, I think I'll go and help Quil with the fire," Sam nods and walks toward a boy who's frowning and poking at the fire with a stick, obviously unaware that the stick itself is aflame.

I'm too scared to be amused. Rachel says a cheery hello to Kim and bounces off to put down her jacket. I'm left with Kim, feeling almost inhumanly lost.

"Everything will be fine, you know. And to be honest, I know how you feel," Kim blushes, crossing her arms.

"How?" I frown, suddenly feeling breathless. Has Brady told her about me living in an Orphanage, is that what she's talking about?

"Yeah, I mean, when Jared said he liked me and invited me here I thought it was a prank," Kim shrugs, smiling kindly.

"And was it?" I ask, almost desperately. She can see the anxiousness in my face and my crossed arms.

"No, it wasn't. And neither is this, I promise."

I give my best attempt at a smile, still unsure, then freeze for a second when I spot something over her shoulder. Emily is carry a big plastic bag filled with obvious meats, but standing next to her is Brady, staring at me. With a shirt on, thankfully.

Oh god, this is more horrid that I thought it would be. He's staring at me, eyes on mine, and I shift my feet, bracing myself as he walks towards Kim and I. She's looked over her shoulder to find what's made me so tense, and has now turned back with a sympathetic smile. I desperately want the ground just to suck me up whole.

Kim steps back just as Brady reaches us, but to be honest I don't notice and I don't think Brady does either. He's staring at me like he hasn't seen me in years. That scares me, mostly because, somehow, it doesn't feel like he's acting so much this time. As he gets closer I keep noticing every one of his features in sharp detail- his hair, his brown eyes, his _abs_.

"Hi," he says, one side of his mouth up as he smiles. It makes my knees even weaker, I'm ashamed to say.


	18. The Way Back Home

**I was thinking about making this chapter 40 or 40+ chapters, but definitely not passed 50. Is that too much for you guys? I can always merge some chapters together to make it less. Thank you for all your opinions! Please tell me again what you're thinking in your review, and I'll put a poll up too. =-)**

**I'm soooo sorry for the long wait! I'm super packed with English and History, they have soooo much homework! Anyway, I also hit a writers block with this chapter so the next one will be up soon!**

**Anyway, on with the chapter, I hope you enjoy it! This chapter is dedicated to Duck-Egg, as she is the one who pushed me to write this story. I love you babes! =-) **

**And by the way, the amount of reviews is AMAZING I can never thank you guys enough! Xx**

"Okay, everything's ready!" Sam shouts happily.

His voice shocks me out of my locked stare with Brady. But as I blink, slightly rapidly and look down, Brady's still hasn't removed his eyes from my face. What is going on with me? I should be glaring at him, calling him names, even ignoring him. Am I ill?

I glance around hurriedly for Rachel. I suddenly want to get away from Brady badly, and I realize that it's because I'm scared of the feelings I'm having. I don't_ want _to feel like this around him. Suddenly the thought of the ground opening up and eating me is getting appealing. I want to get out of here, but I can't, can I? I really don't want anyone to notice that something is wrong with me. And I know exactly what Rachel will say- 'stop being ridiculous and get on with it', being the main theme.

I spot the gray wool of Rachel's hat first. She already opened the bag of marshmallows and Kim is giggling as my freaky friend tries to put some up her nose. I can't stop myself from glancing back at Brady for one second, and I know I look scared and uncomfortable. My feet somehow find a way to walk round to Rachel and Kim. Brady's eyes watch me the whole way. I can feel them burning into my back like a hot poker.

My lungs ache, and I realize that my breathing must have gotten a bit shaky, so I take a big deep breath in, feeling the ache disappear as I reach Rachel and Kim.

For the first time, I start to notice everything around me. For instance, there's a boy walking toward toward Kim with eyes so full of love they make my heart throb. I have the distinct feeling that I've seen him around before. The way he's _staring_ at her though, it's strange. Like Kim is the sun and he's the moon, every time they're together it's special and sacred. His eyes couldn't hold more love if they tried. I quickly look away.

He puts his arm around Kim's waist, and she immediately looks up at him, smiling timidly. It almost made my heart cry. Can hearts cry? Maybe they do when they're having a heart attack...

See. There I go. Rambling like a... rambler. Shut up, Kayla.

I can see Brady out of the corner of my eye, staring at me in the same position he stood before. Just knowing that his eyes are on me makes me flame up with a sudden passion to do... something.

After a few minutes, Sam calls everyone to start sitting round the fire. I blink and follow Rachel to a log, sitting down next to her. I suddenly feel uncomfortable. What are we going to do? Join hands and tell everyone of our lives? Is this how these things work?

Two elders sit down on the log opposite us, the flames of the fire in the way of their faces a little. Oh god, is this some sort of initiation process? Burn the sacrifice?

My thoughts shut up when I spot Brady trying to sit as close to me as possible. Embry has just sat down on the other side to me, shooting a huge grin and making me feel a little more comfortable, I'll admit. Brady is shaking, but I look away, scared to meet his eyes.

One hour later, and I'm avoiding Brady like you would avoid Hitler. Only Hitler wasn't so damn hot.

The story that those elders told us, was simply amazing. In a story about vampires, a woman stabs herself to distract the vampire who was attacking her husband. Selfless act or what? I'll go to bed thinking about that. And it made me wonder, does love stretch that far? Would you give up your life to save your husband's?

Everyone is eating the food now. Embry is pretty nice. And Paul is... erm... okay. He threw a marshmallow off of Rachel's head- they apparently have a few classes together in school- and she stuck one up his nose. They've been getting on pretty well after that, laughing and joking with each other. They keep talking about some people, Leah and Seth or something, who are supposedly turning up later.

But all I can think about is Brady. I can feel his stare on me.

When I'm standing with Rachel, talking about a random subject, I thought I was safe until Brady came up to us. Oh, god. My heart starts pumping at an extremely fast speed. How am I even still standing when my heart rate is this rapid?

"Kayla, I need to speak to you."

Oh holy Jesus. His voice sounds... like the best sound in the world. Shut up, Kayla.

Rachel can't see any way out of it. I look at the ground while she walks away, but I can still tell that she's glaring at him.

When she's gone, I look into his eyes timidly. Our eyes meet. Warm electric sparks run through me. Just kill me now, please.

"I don't know where to start. I know I've been... a real ass to you for a long time. I'm so sorry Kayla," he stutters, staring at me like he wants to move closer.

I frown slightly. There's a churny feeling in my stomach that he's away to tell me something.

"I've got something to tell you, and I really hope that you won't hate me."

He looks so upset! Here we go. 'Kayla, I'm secretly married to a goat.' Or maybe 'I'm sorry, but I'm in love with your brother and needed to make friends with you to have a chance with him'. 'I want you to be the mother of my children, care to donate a few eggs? I want your blond hair'. I wonder which it would be. Jokes aside though, I can tell that I'm blushing and I feel like I'm about to faint. Oh god, his lips look so soft...

Just as he opens his mouth, I can hear Rachel screech. I can tell it's her- I could tell it's her even if we were in with a hundred people screaming at a concert.

I immediately start, shock and fear running through me. That's what happens to me when I hear a scream.

Brady turns around, clearly baffled. I notice him step closer to me as if he's... going to put his arms around me or something. I can smell the scent of him.

I locate Rachel at the other end of the clearing, not too far away. A boy who wasn't here before- Seth?- is standing right next to her, clutching her elbow. She doesn't look scared, to be honest, but she does look... weird. Like she'd seen Simon Cowell with a thong on. She's staring at the boy's face.

I, without thinking that much, run toward her. Everyone's stopped what they're doing, but they, unlike me, look over with anticipation and interest. What the hell's going on?

"Rachel!" I can feel the panic on my face. The boy, Seth, looks at me, then at Brady, who seems to have been hot on my heels. "What's wrong? What have you done to her?" I turn on Seth, instantly presuming that he's the problem. Men are _always_ the problem.

"Kayla can we go? I have that English essay to do when we get back, remember?" she doesn't meet my eyes, and, without looking at Seth, scurries away down the lane we came through.

The atmosphere is electric. I can tell everyone's looking at me, but I'm too interested in Rachel. I 'accidentally' stomp on Seth's foot as I grab my jacket off of a log and hurry after my girl. Brady's about to protest, I can tell in his eyes, but I don't look at him as I walk away. He looks so desperate, like he wants to get on his knees and beg for me to stay. But that scares me, and I rush off after Rachel, now wanting to get as far away from here as she apparently did.

It's probably clear to you that we don't have an English essay to do. I have no idea what's wrong with her, but I'm so worried now that I really don't care how I look to all those people I met tonight.

And it's only later, after Rachel has promised to tell me all tomorrow morning and left with excuses of being too tired, that I realize that Seth was looking at her the exact same way that Brady looks at _me_...


	19. A Reluctant Ride in the Rain

**Thank you for all the reviews! Doing this instead of homework, so please feel honoured! Haha! Oh well, I got a bit stuck on this chapter but I just tried my best! =-)**

**Sorry for the late update! But it was a tough year last year and now then we had exams piled on us so I was sort of pooping myself over that. :O ANYWAY! Exams are over so here's an extra-long chapter as an apology and I WILL be able to write more! **

**Your reviews mean the world to me right now guys, so please carry on! =-) Xx**

"He came to my house this morning and explained everything."

"Explained _what _though?"

Rachel and I are eating our lunch outside for a change, mostly due to rare sunshine we're getting. But I couldn't care less.

She's talking as if nothing happened last night. But I saw her face. I could_ tell _that she was upset. Why is she trying to cover for him? Did he persuade her not to? Did he _threaten_ her? That little bitch.

But I can tell, just by looking at her face, that she's not lying to me. It seems as if she's simply... had a change of heart. But how could she have had a change of heart over something that got her so upset? I'm very worried to say the least.

"How on earth did he know where you live?" I pester, frowning and staring at her.

"Somebody must have told him, it's really close to the school so people have probably seen me walk home! Anyway what does it matter?" she stares down at her strawberry milkshake, sipping through the white straw and not meeting my enquiring and worried eyes.

"Course it matters, you screeched and looked at him like he was an alien!"

"Look, I just misunderstood him okay? Now can we just leave it."

"No, we can't just leave it!" I snap.

"Kayla?"

Oh god, that voice again.

I hate the way I immediately look up. I should just keep my head down and eat my cheese sandwich, but somehow I can't. I feel Rachel stiffen next to me through my sudden... what shall we say... unease? Fear?

He's looking at me that way again. Like I'm the only thing in the world keeping him from going nuts, which is just plain weird. I'm yet again freaked out... and somehow feel a piece of that inside myself.

I gulp, even though there's no food or drink in my mouth. Help me, JESUS.

He looks unbelievably hot today. I try and make myself not notice, but I do. He's got this checked shirt on that makes his arm muscles look unbelievably hot and his hair is all tousled and flapping about in the wind. Shut up, Kayla. Move on.

"I was wondering if-" Brady cuts off, looking away for a second and breathing and gulping almost unnoticeabley as if to calm himself, "-if you would let me explain to you... everything."

Now it's my turn once again to gulp.

"Sorry, Brady, I'm busy," I croak. Dammit, if there's a time to _not_ croak it would be _now,_ Kayla!

"How about-" before he can suggest another time, with that weird googly eyed look at me, the bell rings. Oh, thank you bell. I've never been so glad to hear a more horrible sound in my life.

I mumble a croaky and uncomfortable 'sorry' as Rachel and I rush past him to get to Chemistry. I might be mistaken, but I think I can see, out of the little corner of my eye, a secret look pass between Rachel and Brady. What on_ Earth _did Seth say to her? Some crappy bull over why he scared the wits out of her last night? For some reason, my gut is telling me that it may have something to do with the possible look between Rachel and Brady in that moment.

The rest of the day passes without any horrible events. I bump into Chloe a few times though, avoid her eyes, then walk past her. I haven't spoken to her yet. I know I might have to though.

Brady. Oh God, Brady. He looks so mega hot today, just rubbing it in my face. Part of me wishes that he would just leave me alone, but the other wants him to come closer to me. I'm so confused! I have no idea what he wants with me, and I don't know what bothers me the most – that I don't know what it is, or that I even care.

At the end of the school day, I'm standing under the deserted school's sheltering reception and tugging my purple hoody round my small body to create as much warmth as possible. It's raining, soggy, and windy – the most common weather in La Push. And it's four now, school let out at half three so I've been waiting for Rachel to get her bottom here for a half an hour. I sigh, a strange expression on my face. Where the hell is she?

My phone vibrates. I dig it out of my pocket with wet fingers and try and stop droplets of rain seep onto the screen. When I see it's a message from Rachel, I feel my heart leap, trying not to imagine the worse.

**Sorry, mum is giving me a surprise lift home! She needs to rush off to the shops so we can't give you a lift babes! I'll make it up to you! Love ya xxx**

Great. I sigh shakily, putting my phone back in the pocket and imagining the long and wet walk back to the Orphanage that I now face. Fantastic. Walking home in the rain, with my why-is-my-life-so-unhappy thoughts. Suddenly I feel the urge to cry again, but manage to repress it.

I feel like a small, soaking wet squirrel as I tug my hoody closer to me and walk down the steps and start my walk home. I don't have a cool walk, either. Rachel says that my walk is 'cute'. It's not a waddle or a childish walk, but somewhere in between. I don't know why this suddenly matters to me, maybe I'm just imagining the way that I look to people.

The instant I hear a car draw up next to me, I instantly think 'oh my God, rapist' – don't deny it, you do it too. I gulp, suddenly feeling like a little five-year-old girl again, and hastily look behind me. When I see who it is, I gulp _again. _And not a fearful gulp, more like a heart-throbbing gulp.

"Come on, I'll give you a lift."

"No, it's okay, I can walk," I quickly say, turning back round again and praying that he won't say anything else.

"Kayla, I won't take no for an answer. Just let me drive you home," that googly-eyed look is back. Oh God, how do I get out of this one? Oh God, oh God, oh God, just kill me _now._

I want to scream when I realize I can't. I gulp sadly, bracing myself as much as I could, then slowly got into the open car door and shut it again.

I suddenly feel tiny. These seats are so big that you could fit a bear on them and still have room for a cup-holder. The seatbelt feels long as I tug it over me and place it in the lock and try and keep my eyes away from the driver.

I feel Brady's eyes on me, and once I meet them, feeling so small, I somehow can't look away.

"So, uh, to the Orphanage?" he asks, seeming distracted from his words by me, and there's a considerable pause before he sputters out the word 'Orphanage'. There's that slightly angry face again.

"Uh, yeah..." I mutter, trying to look the other way.

Even his hands look strong when he puts the car into gear, still watching me, and pulls out of the driveway and we drive in silence for a few seconds. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

"About Chloe..." he says, gulping.

"Oh jesus," I whimper, suddenly angry.

"I'm sorry, but I need you to know, I'm not like that any more. And I don't even like Chloe. Didn't even know who she was till that night," he sputters, but his face shows that he thinks he's fighting a losing battle and he's noticed that he's saying the wrong words.

I decide that I should say something. My face suddenly feels all hot as I finally open my mouth.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about and I don't know why you're telling me this," I sputter, trying to look cool and aloof but, me being me, it obviously doesn't work.

Brady looks as if I've stabbed him in the gut, which I just don't get. He looks angry yet slightly sad at the same time, and I suddenly feel scared as I realize that no-one knows I'm getting a lift from him and we're already outside the tiny town's limits.

"A few girls told me that you liked me," he says after a pause, eyes sternly on the road with a grim mouth. He looks scary.

My cheeks flame up in embarrassment and I really want to cover my face with my hands to hide my terror. This is exactly what I was afraid of – the school's most popular guy finding out that I liked him. The end of my life. Liked as in past tense right now. I've got too much to worry about to dwell on my feelings for Brady. But I certainly don't _want_ to like him, and I just feel embarrassment right now.

"Well, they're wrong," I sigh shakily, looking out the window.

I can feel almost the entire car starting to shake when he does. Now I'm really scared. And when I get quite alarmed my fingers curl up into slight fists and I look very restless and blush like a tomato.

I'm alone in the car with him... and nobody knows where I am... shut up, Kayla's mind, just _please_.

"Sorry," Brady suddenly sputters. Can he tell that I'm scared? I don't want to look at him and check.

Oh thank God, we're just at the Orphanage now. Oh, I've never been so pleased to see it before in my life!

"Thanks for the ride," I mumble hurriedly, taking off my seatbelt and quickly opening the door at the same time. Get me out of here, get me out of here...

A warm hand lands on my arm, and I gulp. It's so warm and he's so close that I can smell his scent. I reluctantly turn my head towards him and our eyes meet.

Something is starting to hurt my heart again, I can feel his soft breath on my face. I hate being so... girly.

"I'm sorry for everything, I really am," is all he says after a long pause of looking deep into my eyes. He looks so sincere, yet I can't trust him. I can't trust anyone. There's that look again in his eyes – he seems so different to the popular, mean, girl-loving Brady of a few weeks ago, but I don't want to believe it.

But I can't believe the feelings I'm having right now as well, to do... something.

"Okay," is all I say, lamely, and climb out of the car, slamming the door behind me. The rain has stopped, thank God. I feel so small as it's a jeep and Brady's so tall inside it even sitting down. Feeling like a waddling baby penguin, I hurriedly scurry my way around the jeep and towards the Orphanage until I see someone standing outside in the attached garden to the left.

"Jordan!" I screech, beaming and completely forgetting about Brady and my blushing in fear.

He turns around and sees me. His eyes widen and he starts smiling.

"Hey, stranger, thought I'd surprise you!"

I run towards him, going 'eeeeeeep!' as I do, and throw myself into a hug with him.

I feel so intensely happy that I forget that Brady is still _right over there_ as Jordan swings me around like a baby. He's the person that almost completely makes up for the awkwardness, horror, and fear that I just experienced with Brady! Jorrrrdddddddddyyyy!

"Hehehe," Jordan does his childish and happy giggle-laugh as he puts me down and gives me a big kiss on the forehead. Rare that he does that, he must have missed me or sensed my fear from miles away and just ran here like Superman. "How have you been, you little idiot?"

I don't answer. Instead I just go 'eeeeeeppp' and spin on the spot, clapping quickly. You see, any other sixteen-year-olds other than myself and Rachel would look strange and psycho if they do that. But it suits us. Yeah. And it's lovely.

Oh Jesus. _Brady._

I suddenly remember about him and my smile disappears immediately and it suddenly seems like a dark cloud has come over my head. Jordan can sense it, I can tell. I feel sick again as I look over. Now, this is going to be awkward. Please Brady, just go away. Or say you have to leave. I don't want to introduce you. Hell, I don't want to even talk to you.

But when I look at him, I go into a state of confusion. He's standing out of the car, watching me and Jordan hug with his jaw and fists clenched, shaking. He looks like he's about to kill someone, and out of reflex I grip Jordan's arm a bit tighter.

"And who's this?" Jordan says, only half-politely. I can sense the steely venom in his tone cause he obviously doesn't like how Brady looks right now.

I want to just die right here. It's not that I'm worried about Brady, it's that I don't want Jordan to get worried about _me_. So there's a long, pregnant silence. It's scary actually, the look that Brady is giving Jordan. When I actually start getting worried about Jordan, I speak.

"Uh, Brady this is my brother Jordan. Jordan, this is Brady."

For a second, and out of the corner of my eye, I think Brady has a hidden look of relief on his face. He still looks slightly scary to me as he's standing on a slight hill and his muscles look... big.

"I've got something to show you," Jordan says to me. The look he just gave Brady is scorching. Dammit, so he remembers who he is.

I turn to Brady as Jordan walks away, looking back over his shoulder to watch me.

"Erm, thanks for the lift," I give him the tiniest smile I've ever given – I don't think I owe him all that much, even if he had just given me a lift home.

"Bye," Brady says, looking awkward yet he has that googly-eyed look in his eyes. As I turn away my heart feels like it might drop out.

Right, hating him is just easier. I will never speak to him again for what he did to me.

**Not the best chapter but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. :S Xx**


	20. It Had to Be Done

**Never been more sorry for anything in my life for not updating this sooner, guys! Next chapter is honestly coming in like two days, I'm on a roll. :) **

**To all my loyal reviewers, I cannot thank you enough. You guys are wonderful and deserve a much more time-keeping writer than silly me. :) Xx**

I feel calmer having Jordan here.

His presence is making me realize that I don't need to be scared all the time. I still don't want to see Brady, at school I've been avoiding him like the plague, but I'm not shaking and avoiding his path 24/7.

And that's not the best part about these past few days – the house is ready. That's why Jordan came down, to tell me face to face. No more living in the Orphanage, no more kids crying for their parents who won't turn up, Jordan says. But leaving the Orphanage will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Leaving Alex, leaving my old life behind, will make me feel unbalanced. I've vowed to visit every single day after school. I can't have the kids thinking that _another_ person has abandoned them.

Besides that, I'm excited. An actual life with my brother, a chance to be like everyone else in La Push outside the Orphanage, will be like hot chocolate on a winter's day to me. Much-needed, sought after, and cosy.

As for Rachel, I haven't gotten any closer to finding out what's made her pull back from me so much. At first I thought it was something_ I_ had done, that I had repelled her with all my 'Brady's coming, hide!' moments, but then I realized that it had nothing to do with me. I can tell there's something she's keeping from me. And all I know is that she and Seth are frequently seeing each other. She insists they're not dating, and I believe her, but there has to be _something_ more to it than simply new-found friends meeting up.

And now I'm sitting here in my new room at the new house, on the wide windowsill staring out the window with my phone in my hand, when just under five minutes ago she had bailed on me by text for the cinema and saying that she and Seth were going out at seven tonight.

An idea clinches in my head. With my eyes going wide, I realize that I can find out what on earth she's up to. By following her...

I know what you're thinking. That I'm being nosey. But there's a fine line between nosey and concerned, and I have definitely concerned bordering on flat-out worry. That look she and Brady shared a few days ago when we walked away from him is still fresh in my mind, making nothing add up. Rachel knows something about Seth, maybe even about Brady and the people at the bonfire, and I intend to find out what it is as I'm scared that the longer I don't at least try and find out, the longer she might think that I don't care.

I bite my lip slightly as I throw on my converse and a hooded jumper, wondering if this is such a good idea. Kayla George, turning all spy on her best friend. Jordan's out with some of his friends from Port Angeles, so I can't ask him for advice, but now I guess I have no choice but to go with my instinct.

After sprinting down the stairs, I hurriedly scribble a quick note for Jordan to tell him that I've gone out for a little while, then quietly leave through the front door.

It feels rather dangerous, like I'm a burglar or something. I have to stick to the shadows in case anybody sees me walking to Rachel's. I have to be quiet and walk quickly. And to be honest, I quite like it, a little bit of adventure.

If she finds out, I'm dead.

I don't quite know what I'm doing right now. Seth showed up at Rachel's house about a half hour ago, looking like a complete weirdo as he literally beamed when he laid eyes on her.

So after twenty or so minutes of me scrabbling over twigs and darting behind trees like I had ants in my pants, they finally stopped at the edge of the forest. And that's where I am right now.

I thought it looked at lot like the clearing where they had the bonfire last time, but it wasn't. I knew for a fact that this place is directly inbetween La Push and Forks – kind of a no-mans-land. All the logs are laid out exactly like before however, the fire just as aflame and lighting up everyones faces. But one change I see, while kind of having a mini-heart-attack, is that Brady looks _absolutely_ terrible.

And when I say terrible, I mean terrible. There's just no... light in his eyes anymore. Like something was taken away from him. I can see Sam pat his bulky, muscled shoulder and murmur calmly in his ear, and I have this sudden feeling to go to him. It's like when a light goes on – SNAP, I want to hug Brady.

Then everything comes rushing back and I feel ridiculous standing there peeking over a large tree stump at some people.

Maybe Rachel has just found some new best friends, and she doesn't want me anymore. Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it. She looks so happy here; her face is glowing, and not just because of the fire. No, she belongs there. I know she does. She's always wanted something weird to happen to her, something weird and wonderful that would give her boring life a kick in the backside, and now she's got it. And you can't get weirder than a bunch of testosterone-filled boys around a bonfire with one of them staring at you like you're the most amazing thing he's seen.

Sadness fills me. I wish I could be like Rachel. I want to be happy for her, that she's so alive and comfortable like I've never seen before, but somehow I can't. Maybe it's because I don't know the full story of _what's _making her so happy.

I watch with wide eyes for a little while longer as they all sit around and laugh – all except Brady.

Then suddenly, something changed.

I don't quite know what I did. I think there was a sudden breeze in the air. But my hair blew softly back a little from my shoulders as I watched with bated breath. I hardly noticed. But apparently, Brady did.

I've never seen a head snap up so fast. It honestly took a millisecond for his head to dart up and look in my direction. Like a tiny rabbit, I squeaked and tried to duck down, but it was too late. Brady had already seen my white blond hair and massive doe-like eyes.


	21. Terrified in the Woods

**Here you go! :) Thanks for all the kind reviews. :) Hope you're all doing good! Xx**

What happened next is all a massive rush. While I keep my head down, breath broken in shock and fear, I hear Sam ask Brady what was wrong. I try to shift my feet under my crouch as I'm scared that you can see my converse through the gaps in the trees, but because of this I can't hear what they're saying to each other. I can hear Sam pretty clearly, he's insisting that Brady just imagined me, but why on earth would he do that? Plus, Sam sounds worried about something, as if he should maybe look to see if I'm there. What are they hiding?

But I can't hear Brady's reply. All I can hear is him saying 'smell, Sam, can you smell her?' I have no idea what that meant, and I definitely do not stink, so maybe he's being purposefully annoying to lure me out. I'm terrified, my hands are shaking. If Rachel finds out I followed her, she'll kick up a massive fuss. My breathing has picked up, and I'm scared that if I open my eyes then one of them will be standing right in front of me.

All that happened in just a few seconds. I know, unbelievable. But Brady sounded like he was in a panic mode, and when I hear footsteps nearing the end of the clearing and towards the tree stump, I realize that I have to bloody _run_.

I try and run while keeping ducked down, making me look like some sort of camp vampire, but it doesn't exactly work when you're trying to run at the speed of light! Once I got out of the not-so-tree-covered area, I literally leap through branches and twigs, ducking under things so quickly that my head becomes a little sore. Oh God, please don't let them find me.

But they've noticed me. As soon as I even made a move out of the tree stump's cover, Brady let out a massive yell. Then a girl's screech, and then all the boys moved into action. I can tell they're boys because even their fast footsteps sound manly.

I try and try to run faster, but they're catching up. The amount of twigs that I'm snapping beneath my light feet isn't working. I'm running with a terrified expression on my face, water coming into my eyes – whether at the prospect of them catching up, or from the running, I don't know! - and darting glances over my shoulder. This is the most scared I've been in my life, how can this happen to me?

I run into something rock hard. And I mean _rock_ hard. I can feel my brain move around in my head from the sharp impact, and immediately think 'damn you, fucking tree!'. But then I realize that the tree has hands, the tree has cold, cold, hands, and their grasping my shoulders to steady me.

I look up with my breathing so quick, feeling so scared, so dishevelled-looking, and into a pair of rather amused golden honey eyes.

While I stare at them, terrified of who the hell they are and the approaching boys, their eyes become shocked and then they narrow, searching my face. Trying to catch my breath and keep from screaming in fear, I look back while shaking slightly.

I hear the footsteps draw to a close behind me, and I can't help but noticed the angry tension they bring with them. Realizing that I'm now done for, I back away sharply from both the strange honey-eyed man and the group of boys who are glaring at him for some reason. I sound like I've been running, and maybe crying a little too, because my throat catches as I breathe.

As I curse my own stupidity for thinking that I could run away, I see that two of the boys who I've never seen before are holding Brady back. He's growling and shaking non-stop, and I feel even more scared by the vicious anger in his eyes as he glares at the honey-eyed dude.

"Edward," Sam addresses coolly, nodding at the guy I ran into as if he didn't have a raging boy behind him being held back.

After nodding just as coldly back, the man called Edward's eyes dart towards me, eyes deep in concentration.

I'm terrified, shaking in my converse, partly wet from the droplets of rain clinging to the twigs that I darted under and into when running from the bonfire. For once, I want my mum. I want someone who I can go to who won't threaten anyone, but provide endless comfort to their child. As great as Jordon is, he's not a mother. And with that thought, I suddenly realize that I will never have the comfort and love of a mother like everyone else, just discovering what it would mean to have a mother, and gulp back tears.

"Out alone, are we?" Sam asks, trying to be pleasant, but failing miserably.

"Yes. Sam, it seems we have a predicament on our hands. This girl was running away from you," he gestures toward me with a pale hand, "might I ask why?"

"With all due respect, _Edward_, that's not any of your business," Sam's voice has a cutting edge to it. The words may have been polite, but the tone was certainly not. I feel so unsafe here, what is going on, what are the guys' problem?

Edward has a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"Actually, it is. Have you not noticed who she resembles, Sam?"

I can literally see Sam's teeth grit. He darts a quick, tight-jawed glance at me. I stare at him in fear.

"Yes, I have."

"Did you not think that perhaps we would have liked to know?" Edward seemed to have a slightly colder tone now, and his eyes narrow a little.

"I wanted to keep her safe," Sam growled, and somehow I get the feeling that there was more to that statement that perhaps was said in his mind but not aloud, but Edward somehow seemed to get it. He nodded, a slight smirk on his lips. He politely turns to me, and out of instinct – and being surrounded by men who are taller than me – I kind of flinch.

"Do you know who I am? I'm Edward Cullen," he asks charmingly.

Cullen... Cullen... wait, I know who he is. He's Bella's boyfriend. I like Bella, the Chief's daughter. She's lovely. I'm almost not scared due to the relief flowing through me. Almost.

"Are you... Bella's Edward?" I ask shyly, gulping.

He shoots me a dazzling smile which would have any other girl on their knees, perhaps he just liked being called 'Bella's Edward'.

"Yes, I am. In fact, I was just on my way to collect her to take her to my home. Would you care to join us?"

The boys are fuming, I can see them. My eyes look towards them, scared of them, and immediately realize that I want to leave. Now. I don't want to be here anymore. And I haven't seen Bella in a long time, she gives great hugs. We're both equally clumsy.

Edward suddenly smirks and I don't know why.

"Um, I guess, if it's okay?" I ask timidly. My hands are in my pockets because they're shaking with fear, and I've subconsciously stood as far away from the boys as possible.

"Of course not. My car is this way," he smiles at me comfortingly as he points to where I can see a silver Volvo parked through the gaps in the trees.

I look at Sam hopefully, and despite being still so scared, I don't want him to be mad at me. But he takes time out from glaring at Edward to give me a little smile. Mentally, I sigh in relief. I smile back, and as I walk behind Edward, I look at Brady and stop for a second. He was raging after Edward, but when my eyes meet his, they're filled with sorrow. I don't know why, and I wish I could find out, but the events of tonight have worn me out, and I just want to be somewhere safe.

**Next chapter coming within the next two days! :)**


	22. Stunned and WeirdedOut

**Here you go! :) I might re-do the end, not entirely happy with it, but for now it's staying like this and I'll let you know if it changes!**

**Second, this weekend I'll be trying to merge some chapters together to make this story shorter – as in the beginning, chapters were rather short – and I want to sort that out. :) Just to let you know, and I'll post an Author Note when I'm done re-vamping (tehe, get it? ;)) the story. :)**

**Merci, and thanks for reading! Next chapter coming soon! Xx**

I swear I heard shouting and a wolf howling when I got in the car. For some reason, it pulled at my heartstrings. Like I_ knew_ the sound. Already fearing enough, I dismissed it to be thought about later.

The ride to the Chief's house isn't quite as awkward as I thought it may be. I asked who he had meant earlier, about who I resemble, but he wouldn't answer me. He just frowned, then when he saw my worried expression, smiled and said 'it's not for me to say'.

I'm worrying about that right now, as he just drives up Bella's street. I can't think of anybody who I might look like in this town, aside from Jordan. I don't have any other family here – that aren't in the La Push Graveyard, anyway, for my mum's side and my aunt on my dad's side in Forks Graveyard – so I have no clue. Who do I look like... my mother? Father? _Hitler?_

Edward stops at Bella's house, not before chuckling to himself. I have no idea why he did that, maybe some sort of inside joke.

"Would you like to come to the door?" he asks, hand unbuckling his seatbelt patiently.

"Uh, sure," I try and smile but I'm so confused as to who I look like that it doesn't exactly look convincing. Edward seems to pick up on that. He nods his head in understanding and gives me a comforting smile.

"Everything will be clear soon, then you'll understand, don't worry."

%%%%%

"Kayla!" Bella's always been awkward and not the best at showing affection to her friends, so I'm surprised when she throws her arms around me. Oh God, I'm shorter than her. Have I shrunk due to all this Brady-stress, or has she just gotten taller?

Anyhow, I'm so relieved to actually be with someone I know, so I hug her back.

"Uh, why are you here though?" she asked uncomfortably after stepping back. Ah, there's Bella.

"I honestly have no idea, why am I here, Edward?" I feel so much better now, and turn my playfully accusing eyes onto her boyfriend.

For the first time, I see him awkward – he can't come up with an answer. What is he supposed to say? 'Hey, Bella, I just found your friend running away from some boys in the woods, can she tag along to my house? Cheers, babe.' No. And the image of Edward saying 'babe' is literally disturbing.

"My family will want to talk to her, on my way here I found something out of interest to them," he seems satisfied with that answer, shooting Bella a dazzling smile and obviously hoping she buys it.

She's frowning, though. Not a good sign. And Edward's explanation didn't exactly help me figure out what he wants me for.

He skips over, not very subtly, the subject and bundles Bella and myself into the Volvo. You can't help but notice the way he looks at her. He's a fool for her, it's plain to see.

The ride to the Cullens is awkward – the combined lack of social skills from Bella and I deem the journey to be rather tension filled. It's like when you give a friend a lift home late at night, and you're in the passenger seat, they're in the back seat, and your parents is driving. It's hard to keep up a conversation then.

I would be hyperventilating right now if not for Bella. She makes me feel more comfortable – probably because, if she goes out with Edward Cullen, he can't be all that bad. I met Bella through a series of awkward encounters. Firstly, we both tripped over each other when we were walking out of the mini-mart. When she saw I was blushing furiously, we bonded over our clumsiness. And the second time I saw her, I went to say hello, tripped over thin air, and face-palmed the floor. She helped me up, trying to hide her grin, and fussed over the scrape I received on my arm from the floor. I now hate air. The only relation I have to it is breathing. Other than that, we try to ignore each other.

After that came other injuries when meeting, thankfully not all involving me, and we because the type of friends that had a distance between us as we meet purely by accident, yet we understand each other. Never have I found a fellow Clumsathon.

So, right now, as we're driving up a long road, slowing as a massive glass house comes into view, and I gulp fearfully. Oh god, what do they want. Why did I agree to this, when I don't even know what they want? Why couldn't I have just asked Edward for a lift home?

_Because you're too goddamn polite_ – my inner-consciousness scolds me.

When we roll to a stop, Edward, like a true gentleman, opens my door for me before I can even touch the handle. I notice he doesn't do it for Bella, she's probably asked him not to. Since I'm thinking this will never be occurring again, him driving me places, I climb out of the car, smile at him and say thank you.

He gives me a somewhat reassuring smirk – not quite a smile, his mind seems too concentrated on something to be too caring – and strolls over to Bella.

"Ready to meet the family?" she asks, frowning slightly at Edward because neither of us know _why_ I'm here to meet the family.

I just gulp in response, I'm too scared my voice will come out all funny. What do they want from me, the Cullens keep to themselves 24/7 … This night just gets weirder and weirder.

%%%%%

I just kinda hesitantly walk through the massive door behind Edward and Bella. Immediately, I see Dr. Cullen, walking past the stairs opposite the door, and he looks up as we enter. I've never met him before, but apparently he's nice. Nobody mentioned how young he looks!

He smiles with welcome at Bella and Edward, and then when Edward suddenly steps aside with a look of concern and shuffles me forward with a hand, he does a double-take. Why are people doing that all of a sudden?

I'm shocked, and watch him with uncertainty. He's looking at my face with such wonder and concentration that I get scared and look down. Refusing to look at him, I keep my eyes on my feet and shuffle. Oh God, what have I done for them to stare at me like this? I feel like a new pet dog: shy, awkward, quiet. They're all watching me, even Bella. Although she's just confused with a little frown on her face, until Edward whispers something in her ear. She stares at me, as if just noticing something incredible, and it dawns on her face. That makes me even more scared. Now even Bella is finding something to stare at me for. What on Earth is wrong with my face?

Dr. Cullen breaks the silence by coughing, blinking, and beaming at me slightly.

"And who do we have here, Edward?" As casual as if the shocked staring never occurred. I feel_ so_ out of place.

"This is... sorry, I never got your name," he looks at me apologetically.

"Kayla, her name's Kayla," Bella buts in where I'm supposed to say my name. I silently thank her for that, maybe she sensed that if I spoke it would come out in a series of croaks due to confusion.

"Well, then, Kayla, come on through to the sitting room and I'll call down the rest of the family to meet you," Dr. Cullen says politely before adding, "Edward's brothers have just gone into the forest, I'll retrieve them." He gestures a hand towards a sitting room.

I bet I'm being really impolite here, and I would normally hate that, but I'm so confused that I look at Bella. Despite her rather awkward nature, she's a good friend by walking with me into the sitting room. Leaving Edward and Carlisle murmuring deeply with each other, I see from the hesitant glance I dart over my shoulder as Bella and I sit down on a sofa so white it makes a dove look dirty.

"Bella, what on_ earth_ is going on?" I whisper furiously with a worried expression on my face.

She gives me a rather awkward half-smile.

"It's nothing bad. Don't worry, you'll find out in a minute when Jasper and Emmett get back. It will shock you..." she trails off, frowning in concern.

"Who are Jasper and Emmett?" I whisper with even more force, feeling very uncomfortable indeed.

"Edward's brothers."

Although I want to ask why _they_ have to be here, of all people, I suddenly lapse into silence and stare at the fireplace, blinking and gulping. After about thirty seconds, Dr. Cullen comes back in the room with who I presume to be his wife. She literally stops her graceful walking to stare at me, mouth half-open. She's gorgeous, they all are. I feel so odd, what is going on?

A girl even smaller than me walks behind her, looking around at everyone to see what all the interest is about, until her gaze lands on me just as she's about to say something. Her eyes go wide – she's having a more bigger shock than the rest of them – and somehow, I'm too anxious to put my head down.

_What do these people want with me?_

One massive guy comes in through the front door, the complete opposite door from where all the others came in by – which I presume is the back door – with his arm around the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. Long blonde hair, stunning figure, I feel so helpless in comparison to these beautiful people. They stop in their tracks to stare at me open-mouthed as well, although the big guy – was this Emmett or Jasper? - breaks into a massive grin after a few seconds. Although the staring thing creeps me out, the smile somewhat makes me feel a teeny bit better.

Dr. Cullen coughs, and finally nobody is staring at me... well, the little pixie-like girl still is, but the rest seem more calm and somewhat excited. I, however, am in silent panic mode.

_What the hell is going on? _

"Well, I see you all understand why you are all here," he says, a hint of a boyish smile on his face, and then he calls, ever so softly, "Jasper?"

_Why am I here?_

I hear him before I see him. A slight Southern accent and heavy yet graceful footsteps on the hardwood floor.

"... why on Earth did I have to wait outside, what can possibly be-?" and he enters the room and sees me. I stop breathing from the shock.

My eyes are identical to his. It would be like looking in a mirror if not for his hair and body.

We share the same nose, same lips - I even had his hair when I was little before I grew out of the unruly curl stage. He looks so much like me, _so_ much like me that it's uncanny. At the back of my mind it clicks why everyone stared when they saw me, but I'm too stunned to focus.

I'm overcome by shock.

I can't speak.

I can't move.

Whoever this is, I'm immediately more scared than I've been in a long time. I have no other family than Jordan, this is impossible, impossible! _What's going on?_


	23. Don't Lie To Me

What. On. Earth.

Is this even physically possible? To look so much like a complete stranger?

Bella keeps her eyes on me as I stand up. Why I'm standing up, I have no idea – I can see him perfectly clear from where I'm standing. And it's creeping me out big time.

He looks so much like me, as if he were a relative.

"Kayla, what's your last name?" the man named Carlisle asked, stepping forward from his wife. I'm even smaller in height than Bella – which is a challenge – and so I feel kind of intimidated. My mouth is open in shock, and I only notice that it's dry when what Carlisle has asked hits my brain.

It takes me a few seconds to reply. They must think I'm insane – a girl gawping at one of their family members. But hell, he's staring at me too, and it's unsettling.

"George."

Through the erratic place that is my brain at the moment, I notice a crease develop between his eyebrows and turn into a frown.

"That doesn't make sense. Is that your father's last name?"

At the mention of him, I wince and look down slightly. Oh God, no, please do not make me have to explain what happened. Not here. Not now. I don't think I can take the embarrassment.

Bella saves the day – again. She's standing next to me, and the timid, awkward Bella that I know isn't there much any more. She's confident around these people. She touches my hand, which is hanging limply at my left hip.

"Kayla doesn't talk to her father."

Carlisle didn't push it. But he persisted in asking his name.

"It was Whitlock, why?" I'm scared now, am I in some sort of trouble? Am I going to get shot? Cabin in the woods...

The people in the room still have shock on their face, but when I tell them the last name of my father, they blink. Why don't I see them breathing? A few of them, like the big dude with his arm around the moody blonde bombshell, have a smile on their face. One, the little pixie-haired one, looks hurt.

"W-w- why?" I hate that I always stutter when I'm scared. It's embarrassing.

"I'm sorry, Kayla, this must be quite a shock to you. Did your father ever speak to you about his family?" Carlisle enquires.

What the hell is with all the questions? If it gets me out of here, though, I'll answer any of them.

"I have an uncle, my dad's brother, but he lives in Louisiana. My grandparents are both dead."

"What of your great-grandparents?" Jasper finally speaks, recovered from shock. His expression goes back to being un-emotional, as if he were asking the weather report. I notice a Southern accent in his voice for the first time.

"I... my grandma said her father died in the army, and her mother was left widowed," Bella takes me by the hand and leads me back to the sofa to sit down. I follow her, but when she sits next to me, I frown. Why do I get the feeling they're away to tell me something shocking?

The big guy left the blonded bombshell, swagging over to give Jasper a whack on the shoulder, then plocking himself in front of me on the futon with his elbows resting on his knees. This guy gives me an enormous grin, with pearly white teeth, and normally I would be alarmed but his smile is strangely infectious.

"Welcome to the family, Pigeon."

The weird nickname would be the most alarming part of that sentence, but it's not.

They explain it to me - which is a good thing as I'm starting to think my confusion is making me become nauseated.

Or maybe that's just the story they tell.

They tell me of Vampires. They tell me about Jasper, his story, and right there he admitted to everyone – including his wife, Alice, the pixie-haired girl – that he left a wife and daughter behind him when he became a vampire. Alice ran out of the room at one point, distraught with the fact her husband hid such a thing from her, but Jasper stayed to explain everything to me as he said he "owed it to me". I was close to laughing initially and only didn't because it would be impolite, but I went through several stages before realisation hit me – shock, laughter, and fearing for this family's mental health. But finally after Emmett freaked the hell out of me by breaking a table with a flick of his little finger, the whole family showing their abnormal abilities, and touching their chilled skin, I finally got it.

You'd think I would be screaming the place down. But if it happened to you, you'd understand that you would be too shocked to do that. You'd be scared, more fearful than you've ever been in your life, but you wouldn't run out screaming because your mind is too busy trying to get around what you've just heard and seen.

Afterwards, there's a silence. There's a lot to deal with – I'm the great-grandaughter of Jasper, a vampire, and his vampire "coven" lives in Forks. Then, I look up from my hands in my lap to Bella, who's still sitting next to me, watching me in trepidation as to what my reaction will be. They're all looking at me, everyone is sitting down in a circle around me, as if I were going to jump up and scream. The thought is tempting.

I look at Bella and give her an incredulous look.

"A vampire boyfriend? _Really_, Bella?"

Everyone laughed. Bella blushes and smacks my arm, and Edward gives her a special romantic _look_. I think it broke the tension a little bit. I'm not the type of person to avoid the obvious and live in denial, and after everything I've seen today, how can I not believe them when the proof is right in front of my eyes?

Jasper leaves me, showing no emotion on his face, and chases after Alice. It's weird to me that he is my great-grandfather, standing right in front of me for the whole night, looking only about fifteen years older than me.

Everyone kind of disperses after Jasper leaves, I guess to give me space to absorb it all. Edward, the blonde bombshell, Dr Cullen, and Esme all leave. Emmett doesn't pick up on the cue, however, and bombards me with questions about what the hell I was doing in the woods. I don't mind telling him the whole story – he's like a big older brother, always joking around with a goofy grin. He listens to the whole thing, from start to finish, about my whole history with Brady and how I came to be in the forest, wondering what the hell Brady and his friends were doing there.

Emmett goes silent, avoiding my gaze and picking up a video game controller.

I eye him suspiciously, tilting my head.

"You know something, don't you? Something I don't."

It isn't a question, it's a statement. Bella whips her head around and gives Emmett a 'don't!' look. Instantly, I'm frustrated at being out of the secret.

Emmett gives an uncomfortable laugh, turning the controller over and over in his hands.

"I'm not allowed to say, Pidge. It's not my story to tell, I'm sorry."

My eyes widen when I realise that he knows why Brady and his friends are acting so strangely.

He looks back at me and sees my worried face, giving me an apologetic shove and smile.

"Sorry, darlin', everything will be told to you soon, don't you worry."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"That makes me _even_ more worried."

To cheer me up, Emmett throws a video controller at me and suggests we play a game – something to do with zombies – and I join in. I begin to become more relaxed and cross my legs on the sofa, just enjoying having a bit of fun with Emmett.

For now, I'll forget about what they're not telling me.


End file.
